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newandlearning
25-01-2011, 04:50 PM
hi all...

I'm feeling a lil exhausted with my own 3yo.. he seems to be not listening as well as he could and has for some time been running around like a luney whilst we wait for the others to come out of school.. I try to get there on time rather than early so I don't have to get too wound up with him...

recently he's taken to running around playground, or going into the school and running there if I for a 'moment' talk to another parent (which happens rarely)... or completely running out of the school grounds..

I have tried saying :

'If you stay by the buggy we play on the wii at home'
'if you stay by the buggy we will have popcorn at home'
and various other things and still it goes in one ear and out the other.

I have tried putting on the wrist strap.. and then he screams..

the only thing I can think of now is taking the baby out of the buggy and putting him in it...

Am I being to hard on him.. what would you all do? :)

Goatgirl
25-01-2011, 04:56 PM
Hi:),

If it was me, I'd go with the wrist strap and stick with it, just grin and bear the screaming...
And a star chart or achievement chart of some sort at home, done every day, made a big fuss of behaving nicely on pick ups etc... And whatever I decided on, I'd just make sure I am consistent ....hope it works out and quickly !

mama2three
25-01-2011, 04:57 PM
Sorry if its not what you want to hear but I dont think youre being too hard on him - just the opposite.
He gets his own way because he screams ? Ignore his protests and keep the wriststrap on. I know its difficult , especially when you are getting all those looks off the other parents when your ds is screaming. But once he knows that this is what will happen , that you will be consistent and not back down he should start to act better for you. At the moment he thinks he is the boss and you need hime to see that actually - its you!
Sorry if this seems harsh - I am not judging you at all - just been there and know that tough love works!

bandlady
25-01-2011, 05:01 PM
Wrist strap or double buggy whatever be consistent his and the other childrens safety is priority. School drop offs and pick ups times can be very stressful depending on how many children you have but if you are being distracted by your son you need to be assertive and make a decision on how you are going to keep him safely beside you.

Denise

georgie456
25-01-2011, 05:03 PM
I agree - stick a strap on him and let him scream away! All parents have been there at some point so nobody in the playground will bat an eyelid. As soon as he realises his screaming doesn't get him his own way, he'll stop!

My 2 yr old DS is a right pest at school - he is in a buggy because otherwise I would spend the whole time chasing him about. He moans and whines, asks for snacks and drinks and I just let him get on with it! As hard as it is, stick with it hun x

onceinabluemoon
25-01-2011, 05:33 PM
I had a child that did this.

Put reins or a wrist strap on him as soon as you leave home/get out of the car and leave it on no matter what he does.

It really doesn't take long, providing you are consistent, for the message to hammer home that YOU are the boss not Mr. Noisy!

When I did it, I sat the child on my lap facing me (so a leg each side) so I had their undivided attention and explained calmly that it was too dangerous for them to run off so from now on they *would* be wearing reins or a wrist strap whenever we went out. I let them choose which one, which stops them feeling quite so 'helpless'. I still had some problems with crying and complaining etc but I think they would have been worse if I had just 'muscled in'.

As for people who stare, take no notice, one day their child will do something that embarrasses them and they wont feel quite so smug ;)

AliceK
25-01-2011, 05:40 PM
Sorry if its not what you want to hear but I dont think youre being too hard on him - just the opposite.
He gets his own way because he screams ? Ignore his protests and keep the wriststrap on. I know its difficult , especially when you are getting all those looks off the other parents when your ds is screaming. But once he knows that this is what will happen , that you will be consistent and not back down he should start to act better for you. At the moment he thinks he is the boss and you need hime to see that actually - its you!
Sorry if this seems harsh - I am not judging you at all - just been there and know that tough love works!

I had this with my own DD. One day she walked all the way to school having a complete tantrum and yelling at the top of her voice "No Mummy, No Mummy" because I had put the wrist strap on her. BUT she soon learnt that if she doesn't walk nicely or runs off thats what happens. She is pretty perfect now. Ignore the screaming, don't rise to it and don't give in and he will soon learn.

xxxxxx

Mrs M
25-01-2011, 05:41 PM
I personally wouldn't be offering rewards such as the wii or popcorn. I would explain to him how you expect him to behave when out and why and reward him with stickers if he does so. I'm quite strict with my children but I've been told today by the guy who runs our local cafe that if ever he has children, he'll send them to me because all the children behave so nicely when we're out, especially mine. It's taken me ages to get my eldest to behave nicely and I used to strap him into the buggy or use a wrist strap and now he's a star. Persevere with it and he'll be great for you.

miffy
25-01-2011, 05:42 PM
Sorry if its not what you want to hear but I dont think youre being too hard on him - just the opposite.
He gets his own way because he screams ? Ignore his protests and keep the wriststrap on. I know its difficult , especially when you are getting all those looks off the other parents when your ds is screaming. But once he knows that this is what will happen , that you will be consistent and not back down he should start to act better for you. At the moment he thinks he is the boss and you need hime to see that actually - its you!
Sorry if this seems harsh - I am not judging you at all - just been there and know that tough love works!

As above. :thumbsup:

Miffy xx

sonia ann
25-01-2011, 05:50 PM
as everyone has said, all my lo's are either in a double buggy or wear reins, no arguments! Just ignore the protests, they will soon stop :) your duty is to keep the children safe.

aly
25-01-2011, 06:26 PM
my ds at the same was like this and i used the strap, like you he screamed but i perservered....He needs to learn not to run off. and tell him once he learns it will come off but if 1 time he tries to run it goes back on.

Ripeberry
25-01-2011, 07:19 PM
I'd rather have the screaming from the wriststrap impeding his 'freedom' than the screaming from having fallen over :(

My youngest DD used to run around all the time, but it was OK as I could 'corral' her and the school playground is far from the road.
But she would fall over regularly though and then you think parents are 'tutting' at you for letting her run in the first place :mad:

guest4
25-01-2011, 08:04 PM
Sorry if its not what you want to hear but I dont think youre being too hard on him - just the opposite.
He gets his own way because he screams ? Ignore his protests and keep the wriststrap on. I know its difficult , especially when you are getting all those looks off the other parents when your ds is screaming. But once he knows that this is what will happen , that you will be consistent and not back down he should start to act better for you. At the moment he thinks he is the boss and you need hime to see that actually - its you!
Sorry if this seems harsh - I am not judging you at all - just been there and know that tough love works!

totally agree, sometimes you have to be tough!:o

Tracey x:jump for joy:

Louise0208
25-01-2011, 08:20 PM
keep the wrist strap on & dont offer him any treats to be good! otherwise he will be a monster to get you to bribe him with treats.

when he does have a 'unbribed' good day then you can treat him with the wii/popcorn/etc & tell him why you have treated him :thumbsup:

newandlearning
25-01-2011, 08:58 PM
thanks a lot ladies.. once again you've all given some fab advice.

have explain to my lo tonight before bed what I expect.. will do the same
tomorrow.. wrist band now has its own wrist band bag.. I'm set for business.
:cool:

onceinabluemoon
25-01-2011, 09:04 PM
thanks a lot ladies.. once again you've all given some fab advice.

have explain to my lo tonight before bed what I expect.. will do the same
tomorrow.. wrist band now has its own wrist band bag.. I'm set for business.
:cool:

Good luck hunny, and if he screams just block it out and think 'I have all the ladies on the forum behind me' and be strong! x

Louise B
25-01-2011, 10:31 PM
I have the 2 year olds in a double buggy and a nearly-4-year old on reins. I knew she wouldn't be very keen, so when she mentioned that she liked ladybirds, I went on Ebay and found a little back pack with reins on, it's a lady bird bag, really cute and she loves it.

I've made the rule with her that she HAS to wear the reins because I have two in a pushchair and can't keep up with her if she walks too fast. Another day I have one 2 year old in a pushchair and a nearly-4-year old who walks on her own, but on those days we're on our own and walking HOME from school, having dropped off, so it's far less busy.

Good luck, it does work if you keep at it, my girls have all hated reins and wrist straps, lol. xx

Mcgons
26-01-2011, 11:17 AM
I have a nearly 4 year old mindee that runs around the playground even when I ask her to stay by me, she just doesn't listen or do as I ask. Is it reasonable to ask her to stay by me though? I want her to do it as I have 2 younger ones in a pram, and to stop her from falling over or not being able to see her when the school children start coming out. Another part of me thinks I'm being too strict though and I should let her run about for a bit. Reading these posts I've taken it that you would all expect children to stay by you, so am I right to stick to my guns and not let her run about?

AliceK
26-01-2011, 11:39 AM
I have a nearly 4 year old mindee that runs around the playground even when I ask her to stay by me, she just doesn't listen or do as I ask. Is it reasonable to ask her to stay by me though? I want her to do it as I have 2 younger ones in a pram, and to stop her from falling over or not being able to see her when the school children start coming out. Another part of me thinks I'm being too strict though and I should let her run about for a bit. Reading these posts I've taken it that you would all expect children to stay by you, so am I right to stick to my guns and not let her run about?

When I'm at school I have my own 6yr old, a 5yr old and a 3yr old with me (as well as a buggy). They all know exactly where the boundaries are and where they are allowed to run to/ run around and that's that. IF they misbehave and break the rules they have to stay by my side. Same as walking to / home from school. They know how far they are allowed to go otherwise they have to walk holding on to the pushchair. Just make your rules VERY clear and the consequences if they get broken and then follow through and be consistent.

Good Luck

xxxx

Louise0208
26-01-2011, 11:55 AM
im not that strict that there not allowed to run around in the playground....after all thats what its for & if they can burn off a bit of energy then its a bonus, aspecially as i dont have a big garden.....however, i do not allow them to be screaming blue murder & return to me when asked, if they dont play by the rules then its hand or buggy holding :D

The Juggler
26-01-2011, 02:10 PM
wrist strap still goes on and ignore the screaming. He should soon learn. I don't mind them running around in the playground but not by the road when walking, too many people and too many cars. I hate using straps but will if I have to.

Bridey
26-01-2011, 02:44 PM
Wrist strap and let him scream! :) I would rather a child was screaming and safe.