View Full Version : Advice Please Lovely Ladies...

23-01-2011, 06:06 PM
I had a meeting with a mum at the end of last year with 18mth old twins for one day a week. It would make my assistant and I full on Fridays in mornings and we wouldn't be able to attend a group as can't all fit in car and group too far for us to get 6 kids there by walking. Had to wait til now to start as assistant had to be registered but settling in sessions next week, no contract as yet, just one meeting and some texts.

I am really having doubts about taking them on. Two sets of twins is going to be hard and I am worried my own daughter and other baby will get 'lost' amongst the boistrousness of the others.

I want to pull out. Is this ethical? Is it the wrong thing? I've been umming and ahhing about it since their initial visit. I feel guilty but wonder is it the right thing if my gut is telling me to not do it.

23-01-2011, 06:12 PM
I would go with your gut! Especially if it will impact on the other children in your care. You could explain to mum about the toddler group and problems with car space etc.

23-01-2011, 06:21 PM
i think id follow my gut instinct too, mum would probably rather know now than during the settling in period. :thumbsup:

23-01-2011, 06:42 PM
The times when I didn't follow my instincts were the ones when I came unstuck :rolleyes:

I always tell newbies - it's ok to say no :D

23-01-2011, 06:51 PM
Agree best to say now before contract and settling in sessions.

Penny :)

23-01-2011, 06:55 PM
Is it not too late or been going on too long? Don't want to get a bad reputation either! I just don't think it is right and have been questioning it ever since meeting them.

23-01-2011, 06:56 PM
Anyone with a differing point of view I haven't considered?

blue bear
23-01-2011, 07:24 PM
Do you know of another minded you can put mum onto? You won't feel so bad if you can offer another solution. Follow your gut instinct, if it was the other way round you would not want family to stay on with you because they felt guilty about letting you down.

23-01-2011, 07:39 PM
I need to get onto this now and don't know of another minder. You see it's hard with twins. I am now trying to word it...

I have been wrestling with this decision all weekend however I am sorry but I will be unable to offer a place for your twins. This is in light of children that have recently started with me as I just feel I will be unable to balance everyone's needs and provide the best possible standard of care. I am happy to help with regards to finding a suitable carer through various contacts. My sincerest apologies.

What do you think?

23-01-2011, 07:50 PM
yes thats sounds very good,

very sincere and also to the point,

you know your own balance of things at home, even if you had said a months trial, i think you would have said no in the end, which is harder for lo to go to another minder, so you know if you struggled it would stress you out,,:thumbsup:

23-01-2011, 08:40 PM
sounds great, well done:D , its tough saying no isnt it:blush:

23-01-2011, 08:52 PM
Thanks for your advice, I have sent the text. I am relieved that I have said no in many ways but also a little sick / guilty. I have found it difficult to say no to anyone but I do have to do what's best. The combination would have been:
3yr old twins
18mth old twins
2 yr old
9 mth old
I just don't think 2 yr old and 9 mth old would have a look in. I always knew this would be the combination and always felt iffy about it but until I started actually caring for the 9 mth old, I didn't realise how the dynamics would play out. Technically we are within our numbers but it's just not a good combination.

24-01-2011, 06:22 PM
Did you hear back from mum? :)

24-01-2011, 08:24 PM
Didn't hear back from mum. Saw her looking on website almost immediately for someone else though. I still feel very bad. But so relieved!