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clumpcat
15-01-2011, 08:59 AM
morning! when i first started childminding the childminding co-ordinators warned not to child mind for friends children, i didnt listen and started minding for a friend and so far its been ok but yesterday i sent her and her husband a email to explain i will now have to start charging them standard rates as a mindee was leaving and couldn't justify working for what i charge them at present. I haven't had a reply back yesterday or today and its on my mind. I think they must be stewing on the email but not sure how to find out their thoughts.
I have been very fair to them so far, they don't pay on time but that is ok, they pay when they can and they have had a considerable reduction before now in what they pay me. i don't charge them if they have a day when they are home and don't want to send them or if they are ill or are on holiday. I wonder if they think because we are friends they should basically have it for free?
i can't stand waiting for the reply but i'm not very good with confrontation.
:(

mrs_scottydog
15-01-2011, 10:01 AM
I also mind a friend's child and feel it's hard to be as strict with them. I felt bad charging them the whole amount if their child was sick or didn't give 4 weeks notice about being off so at the beginning I decided for them to only pay half on those days (friends rates).
My problem now is that I am now finding that they are starting to slip with payment, last month mum thought the dad was paying and yesterday had a call that mum's card was cloned and her account was empty. I'm thinking I'll see how it goes next month and if need be start charging late payment fees.
Sorry haven't really helped you at all but I know it harder to mind a friend's child (business wise anyway).
Hope all gets sorted out for you soon. Hx

clumpcat
15-01-2011, 10:08 AM
thank you for your reply, its good to hear i'm not alone. its hard because you want to help and be a friend but also have to have your business head on :)
x

blue bear
15-01-2011, 10:10 AM
They may not have read it yet, did you have a contract and were they aware you were only doing the discount/ adhoc arrangement while you could afford to. If not it will have come as a surprise, people get used to their income and changes can be difficult.

At least you have learned a lesson, this is work and you need paying fairly. I personally would not have used e-mail but would have written a letter and a changes to agreement for both parents and childminder to sign, then sat down together and discussed it.

Give them some time to read and absorb the info then you need to ask them if they have read it and negotiate a contract which is fair to both parties, be prepared they may not want you to continue minding their child, try not to take it personally be professional like you would for any other family and write it down to experience

Doofuz
15-01-2011, 10:14 AM
I have friends with children who have been interested with my services. I intend to charge them as much as everyone else and they will get the same contract as everyone else. Start as you mean to go on, treat them as 'just parents' whilst you are caring for their children. It is your business at the end of the day and they should respect that. You have sent the email, wait for reply and if they decide to leave then that is their choice. When they speak to you next, explain to them in full how you feel and let them know that you will still care for their children, you just expect to be paid.

Pipsqueak
15-01-2011, 10:19 AM
I think there is always something each and everyone of us hasn't listened about! :o

Its true, I think many of us would say never mind for friends/family but on some occasions it works out just fine.

I think - for your peace of mind you need to do a contract review - face to face and keep it professional. you say its ok right now about the not paying on time etc etc but you need to put your businees/professional head on.

by allowing this mates behaviour you are setting yourself up for other problems and to me (and all this is obviously just my opinion) they do not have any respect for you in paying late.

clumpcat
15-01-2011, 11:00 AM
thank you for all your replies. i must admit i am a wimp when it comes to face to face stuff, i always give in or feel sorry for them :) i find doing stuff on the computer i sound more professional and can word things better. i can get flustered face to face and stuff it up :)

Ripeberry
15-01-2011, 12:15 PM
If they are true friends then they will cough up the extra and understand your position. If they moan about it, then they are not very good friends and just thought they could get something out of you for nothing.
The worm has turned! :D

Mollymop
15-01-2011, 12:25 PM
They probably haven't had time to go online and read their emails - I often send emails, never get replies for a day or so and worry why not.. only to find they reply later because they have been busy, etc.

Like others have said, if they are friends they they should understand that it is your job, you have overheads, you have to make a wage if not you would have to GO OUT to work and then your friends would have to pay the full whack somewhere else anyway!!!

I wouldn't suggest never working for friends or family again, as it can work out well... if they are any kind of friend they would know that you still have to earn the same as a no-friend, etc, regardless!

Hope they return your email soon x

Ali56
15-01-2011, 01:26 PM
I hope you manage to work it out soon, hopefully they will understand. You are a business after all and unless you make enough money to survive then you won't be there. Can you at least discuss fees that match after school clubs if they don't like what your asking-after all that is their alternative.
I do also childmind for friends and I quite like it. It makes my daughter very happy as they are her friends too. However, I don't do mates rates, never have. They all have exactly the same contract as everyone else, the same treatment and the children are disciplined in the same way if needed.
I think it is the fairest way and all the parents do too, its business.
It's a learning curve for you at least, we've all had them in the past one way or another. Just explain honestly and openly why you have made the decision you have (and I think you've been more than fair!)

mummyof3
15-01-2011, 01:32 PM
When I first started minding my first child was a friends daughter. She had waited for a place for ages (usual ofsted and crb dragging feet! :rolleyes: ) I agreed to charge her 'mates rates' when I started as I was having no enquiries so some money was better than none. After about 12mths and business picked up I told her she was going to have to start paying me full fees the same as everyone else. She was fine with this, I felt sick and had a terrible nights sleep but she understood. I was still much cheaper than the local before and after school club anyway and opened earlier. :D

samantha_jane
23-08-2011, 03:54 PM
morning! when i first started childminding the childminding co-ordinators warned not to child mind for friends children, i didnt listen and started minding for a friend and so far its been ok but yesterday i sent her and her husband a email to explain i will now have to start charging them standard rates as a mindee was leaving and couldn't justify working for what i charge them at present. I haven't had a reply back yesterday or today and its on my mind. I think they must be stewing on the email but not sure how to find out their thoughts.
I have been very fair to them so far, they don't pay on time but that is ok, they pay when they can and they have had a considerable reduction before now in what they pay me. i don't charge them if they have a day when they are home and don't want to send them or if they are ill or are on holiday. I wonder if they think because we are friends they should basically have it for free?
i can't stand waiting for the reply but i'm not very good with confrontation.
:(

Think i know how you feel, i too was advised not to look after friends children by a childminder friend, like you chose not to listen !! I have struggled with late payment and them sending their child ill and being quite nasty when ive asked them to collect their little one. I feel that minding friends children is a big no no now and would never do it again ! Hope you find a solution !
Sam x

bluebell3
23-08-2011, 09:15 PM
This is terrible that some 'friends' treat childminders so badly! I would wait and see how they respond to the e-mail before you worry too much though!
I have childminded for friends and the first 2 I childminded for it was a one off for 1 day in the holidays. (half term i think) I didn't charge them because if I hadn't been childminding I would have had both their sons over to play with my child for the day quite happily. Both of them protested and I said no its fine but if you want to use me on a regular basis i will charge you. One never used me and I'm not bothered by that but the other lady uses me regularly in holidays and she is lovely - she paid all her fees for the summer holidays up front and paid for extra time at the start and end of day to 'round it up' and in case she got stuck in traffic to pick up. I've got another lady now who i used to be friends with at school (er 20 odd years ago) and i was worried because i know she doesn't have a lot of money and I am a bit soft but i did all the contracts properly and I've not had problems with her either!
Very best of luck to you I am sure they will appreciate that they've had a discounted place for so long!

Blades35
25-08-2011, 07:28 PM
Hi All,

Just reading some of your posts, and I have just been all approved and waiting for my certificate through the door, I have been looking after my friends child recently, as it's been great practice for me and great for her as she works shifts and was nervous about finding a minder she didn't know, also great for my daughter (15 months) to get used to me caring after another little one. Anyway, she is really happy with the arrangement, and happy to start paying me, but I just wanted to ask, is it neccessary to draw up a contract? if it's a mutual friendly arrangement? I know it's advisable and in my best interests, but I just wondered if it was a legal or Ofsted requirement to have contracts with all paying parents? just so i know all info. Thanks.:)

khlwomitchell
25-08-2011, 07:38 PM
in my case my friend was very nice, i have her 20mth old for three hours on a fri. I was going to do it for free as my son is the same age but she insisted on giving me £10. some friends are just gems!

marleymoo
26-08-2011, 07:34 AM
i have worked with friends and relatives and i have always charged the same fees etc as everyone else. the only difference i have ever made for them is i don't charge them during school hols as they don't need me (one a lecturer and another a student) but that is in their contract and i wouldn't change it. this was in fact my own suggestion so that i could spend more time with my own son in the hols so it's a win win for us.
i don't think i would have emailed your friends. i think i would have mentioned it when i next saw them, along the lines of....how would you feel if.....
that way, you might have been able to reach a compromise and set terms unique to this relationship as you hadn't treated them the same as your other parents from the outset. did you tell them that you might have to review the rate at a later date is certain circumstances?

marleymoo
26-08-2011, 07:38 AM
Hi All,

Just reading some of your posts, and I have just been all approved and waiting for my certificate through the door, I have been looking after my friends child recently, as it's been great practice for me and great for her as she works shifts and was nervous about finding a minder she didn't know, also great for my daughter (15 months) to get used to me caring after another little one. Anyway, she is really happy with the arrangement, and happy to start paying me, but I just wanted to ask, is it neccessary to draw up a contract? if it's a mutual friendly arrangement? I know it's advisable and in my best interests, but I just wondered if it was a legal or Ofsted requirement to have contracts with all paying parents? just so i know all info. Thanks.:)

she is a mindee if you are taking payment, you will need a contract especially if she's claiming tax credits. you will also need all the appropriate consent forms too. ofsted have an info sheet online about minding for friends. check it out