New mindee said her mum hit her - what should I do?

[sara_jayne]

Hello all

I need some advice - I've not been minding long so I'm a bit unsure about this one!

I have a new mindee, 2 years old, with me on a short term contract so I don't know her very well and she's due to leave end of Jan so there's not much time to get to know her. There have been a couple of incidents where I've caught her hitting a doll saying "no, no" repeatedly and I overheard her saying to a bear that if it didn't sit still she would "bang" it's arms. I spoke to my partner about these incidents, and we both thought it was a bit odd, but we thought that she could have picked this sort of thing up from other children at her previous nursery or something so I didn't think much more about it.

Then, today, she played up when walking to my car (I drop her off at the end of the day) and started walking back towards my house. I said to her about going home to see Mummy and Daddy and she came back straight away so I put her in the car. As we were setting off she said "Mummy's naughty, she goes in the naughty corner". I asked her why and she said "she hit me". I asked when mummy goes in the naughty corner and she said "when she bangs me on the window". We were nearly at her house by this point, and I know you're not supposed to ask too many questions, so I just left it and changed the subject.

She seemed happy enough to see her Mum when we got to her house, although I have noticed that it's always her Daddy that she asks for if she's upset or anything but that alone doesn't necessarily mean anything does it. But then if you add everything up... I don't know... I guess I'm just a little unsure about what to do now.

I had to change her clothes yesterday as she had a nappy spillage and I didn't notice any bruising or anything untoward - and I am conscious that I don't know her well enough to know if she's just using language she's heard without understanding the implications of what she's saying - but I'm kind of thinking maybe I should report it anyway and let Social Services make that sort of decision since I'm not really qualified...

At the very least, I've made a record of the conversation, and I feel I should tell Ofsted just in case she is just repeating language she's heard before and says something like that about me to her Mum, if that makes sense.

What do you think??

:confused:

[mamasheshe]

that is a difficult one i would seek advice have you got the safeguarding flow chart or a Dev worker you can ring ? defo note everything down you did so well not to ask leading questions. also my dd tells her toys they are naughty she's 3 and we don't use the word naughty at home but totally agree it is odd for about the smacking them xxx i'm sure you'll get more advice soon xx

[Mookins]

Hello all

I need some advice - I've not been minding long so I'm a bit unsure about this one!

I have a new mindee, 2 years old, with me on a short term contract so I don't know her very well and she's due to leave end of Jan so there's not much time to get to know her. There have been a couple of incidents where I've caught her hitting a doll saying "no, no" repeatedly and I overheard her saying to a bear that if it didn't sit still she would "bang" it's arms. I spoke to my partner about these incidents, and we both thought it was a bit odd, but we thought that she could have picked this sort of thing up from other children at her previous nursery or something so I didn't think much more about it.

Then, today, she played up when walking to my car (I drop her off at the end of the day) and started walking back towards my house. I said to her about going home to see Mummy and Daddy and she came back straight away so I put her in the car. As we were setting off she said "Mummy's naughty, she goes in the naughty corner". I asked her why and she said "she hit me". I asked when mummy goes in the naughty corner and she said "when she bangs me on the window". We were nearly at her house by this point, and I know you're not supposed to ask too many questions, so I just left it and changed the subject.

She seemed happy enough to see her Mum when we got to her house, although I have noticed that it's always her Daddy that she asks for if she's upset or anything but that alone doesn't necessarily mean anything does it. But then if you add everything up... I don't know... I guess I'm just a little unsure about what to do now.

I had to change her clothes yesterday as she had a nappy spillage and I didn't notice any bruising or anything untoward - and I am conscious that I don't know her well enough to know if she's just using language she's heard without understanding the implications of what she's saying - but I'm kind of thinking maybe I should report it anyway and let Social Services make that sort of decision since I'm not really qualified...

At the very least, I've made a record of the conversation, and I feel I should tell Ofsted just in case she is just repeating language she's heard before and says something like that about me to her Mum, if that makes sense.

What do you think??

:confused:

i think if youve thought to yourself this doesnt quite hang right in your own mind then to speak to somebody, perhp go through your CAF or speak to your local officer in this department. Trust your instincts hun they are there for a reason
at the end of the day it could all be harmless
xx

[Pipsqueak]

You MUST record this in writing - as closely to what is said as you can remember.

Keep strictly to the facts.

Any other comments, odd reactions or things you notice

record.

You can take advice from NSPCC, NCMA Safeguarding and also your local safeguarding team (duty desk).

i think if you are concerned enough to seek advice here then you need to seek further professional advice.
There COULD possibly a very innocent explanation of course. but from what you describe something would be ringing not right with me either.

[Vickster]

If you have any suspicions, you must follow the safeguarding flow chart in your leaflet. Record everything now on the form that you should have.

[Ripeberry]

Difficult one as you said, you don't know the child and she is going soon.
It could be a one off incident or it could be a regular thing.
No parent is a saint and in times of stress they do and can 'lash out', but unless it's something that happens all the time then for now make a note, let the local safeguarding team know, but if they go in heavy handed it can make it worse :(

Just hope the mum can get some help to cope.

[sara_jayne]

Thanks for all your advice everyone, I have recorded it all as best I can and I'm going to call my development worker while the children are napping to see what she thinks.

Is there a time scale on how long I've got to report it to someone if I'm advised to? And do you think I should inform ofsted?

XXX