View Full Version : AAAhhhh!! sorry needed somone to talk to and OH dont want to hear it

10-01-2011, 08:47 PM
hi this is more of a moan really than anything else but as OH refuses to listen anymore i thought id sound out on here!!
I have looked afer a 5yrold girl since september,, after school and in the hols,,, she is a very emotinal child and gets fed up easily,,, I have provided lots of activites and she seemed to be settling well but since christmas she has been crying at school wanting mum or dad to collect her and not me yet when shes here she has been fine and happily played with the others,, 3 days a week term time only i have 3 other girls who she gets on really well with and on these days she is definatly happier although not unhappy on the other days,, mum thinks its just being unsettled since christmas and the child apparently says she likes me and likes comming here and I think it could be cause mums not working at the moment so she wishes she could go home with mum ,, i have asked her before christmas if she liked comming here and she says yes but mum said today at school she was upset again wanting mum to collect her,,, im not sure what to do,,, i could try talking to the girl again but she will probably say she likes comming here,, i just hate the thought of somone not being happy here and also dont want to loose anyone cause they were not happy as obiviously thats bad for buisness,, mum seems sort of ok with it and is paying to keep me on till she finds a job so i guess if she was that worried she would take her out of my setting straight away,,, i also wonder if she crys at school cause she knows the teachers would be sympathetic so plays on it a bit although i am not sure how to explain this to mum without sounding im mean .
aaaaaahhhhh,,, some times this job is a pain!!

10-01-2011, 08:52 PM
Maybe she is jealous of the other kids being picked up by their parents? There was a child at our school who would scream, kick and hit her grandparents if they turned up to collect her, but they told me that once she was at their house she did not want to go home.
Can't win with some :rolleyes:

candy cat
10-01-2011, 08:55 PM
Why don't you have a chat with mum and say you are concerned fro the child and you are not comfortable with the fact she doesn't want to come to yours.....ask her to have a chat with her and just say you can't carry on like this as it upsetting.......then maybe they can resolve it between them?? I think it is a bit of attention seeking ? good luck x

10-01-2011, 09:01 PM
Does sound like a bit of attention seeking tbh. Trying to see how far she can push mum

I have one lad like that, he doesn't come here very often, but kicks off big time when mum around but pretty much great otherwise. He is punishing her for working, essentially cos he want to be with her


10-01-2011, 09:07 PM
My own dd goes through this around her birthday and half birthday - i believe its to do with developmental surges - try not to take it to heart - it will pass xx

10-01-2011, 11:45 PM
I think it is early days yet as you have only minded this little girl for a few months.

I know how you feel though as I still look after a 4 year old girl for two days (the other two she goes to a nursery 8-6). It's not every day this happens, but on the two days she comes to me she is very attention seeking, always flitting from one thing to another and acting bored, but then having a meltdown time when Mum collects and i end up literally dragging her out the front door! All because she says she doesn't want to go home.

I say drag her out and that is what I have to do as Mum just stands watching!

I have looked after her since 6 months old.

I asked Mum tonight if maybe it would be better if child could go to the nursery an extra day as I felt she wasn't enjoying her time here.

Mum replied that she was actually thinking of asking me to take on child an extra day as she liked it so much and was even asking to come here when I had 9 days off over xmas!

Sometimes you can't win!

11-01-2011, 07:02 AM
thanks folks am feeling a bit better now especialy after sleeping on it,, i think its an attention thing at school as she crys at school and the teachers are lovley so would give her lots of sympahty,, think i might txt mum this morning and say ' it could be because she is unsettled after christmas but also wonder if the teachers are giving her lots of sympathy at school when she crys if she could be playing on it a bit' then just see what mum says,,, i have spoke to mum lots about it and she says that the child says shes happy here and shes always happy upon collection.

Carol M
11-01-2011, 08:19 AM
I agree, 5yrs old and playing on it to possibly get her own way. Perfectly normal child behaviour!
Glad you are feeling better about it, I'm sure she does love coming to you but if mum is at home at the mo she may feel a bit pushed out by mum.
Chin up,
Carol xx

11-01-2011, 08:40 AM
At the risk of sounding harsh - little 5yr old girls are rather adept at being manipulative at tugging at the heart strings and making people feel blurugh. 5yr old girls - i have found are little actresses with wonderful imaginations.

I don;t mean any of that to sound detrimental - at the moment my 5yr old mindee (female) is giving it a good shot of making mum feel guilty - making up stories - and trying to make out that I am the worlds worst lol. goes over my head! :)

11-01-2011, 07:00 PM
well the little girl came this evening,, she started saying how mumy said she would pick her up when she is no longer working,, doubt this wil hapen as mum has already said she couldnt be a stay at home mum and she is currently job hunting,, so then i asked her is it because she wants to be at home with mum or is because she dosent like comming here and she said i want to be at home with mumy, so i then asked her if she liked comming here and she said a very eager YEAH!:clapping: so i am now relived, happy and not worried anymore cause even if she leaves I will know that she has been happy here:D