View Full Version : a very miserable new minder

07-01-2011, 08:16 PM
hi im new to minding i have been registered since june however due to work commitments i struggled to find children to care for on specific days, eventually i did and signed contracts, however the day b4 due to start i broke my knee so set back a number off weeks untill fit to start. I have been minding a little boy 12mths every friday for 4-5 weeks and quite frankly he is a lovely boy but everytime he is in the house he screams he wont eat sleep or drink he distresses my children even though i have explained that it is nothing to worry about, I have founf he is better out side which helps but i cannot be out all day. I am finding caring for him really hard, i worked hard to begin minding but feel a complete failure and keep asking myself is this really what i want to do, at the moment i dread every friday and feel miserable each friday evening because i feel i have failed the little boy and his mum. He is lovely when he is happy but that is just not often, I am worrying too because ofsted have not visited yet and i know i wont get a good grade because we cannot do activities in the house, help:(

07-01-2011, 08:22 PM
So sorry to here that your 1st experience has not been a positive one - they aren't all like that, honest! I've had babies 1 day a week before and it does take them longer to settle than more regular babies - hopefully he'll get easier the older he gets - hugs ((())) xx

07-01-2011, 08:23 PM
oh dear , they are not all like that i can assure you , minding just once aweek is not really enough for you to forge a bond with a child so young , is it not possible you could suggest maybe more hours so he gets used to you more ? i do wish you luck though as it is hard having a screamer

07-01-2011, 09:18 PM
you know, 12 month mindee and only once a week - well you take one step forward then 6 steps back ..... i had this with a 9m old. He was so distressed that we called it quites. A year later, they parents came back to me (boosted my confidence) but it still took 6-7 weeks before he started to be happy for most of the session.

This week was first back, after 3 being closed, and although he talked often (is 23m) of 'daddy go out the door' followed by 'mummy push the button and come inside' he was well settled and played beautifully.

In the early days, I found going out soon after he arrived really beneficial. I did dread he would start the tears as soon as we got back inside, but he surprised me.

Maybe call parents in and ask if there is anyway they could assist (comfort item), do they carry child around alot at home ???

Notwithstandng, worst case scenario, extend the settling in period but you may find mindee turns the corner in another few weeks (if you can bare it)

:group hug: