Helen Dempster
06-01-2011, 06:45 PM
Hello everyone. Well, my head is still spinning over this and need a little advice (or if anyone can answer this question - why is it that I always seem to get the children with behavioural problems???)
I look after a 5yo boy who used to be very challenging. However, with a lot of patience and consistency and all working together, he is now lovely (not an angel by any means but sooooo much better than he was!) NOW I've started minding another boy, he's 4...and I feel he's a different story completely! Today I had to phone his mum to come and fetch him as I was truly worried for the other children in my care - and rightly so, as after I had done this he smashed a door into one of their faces, shouted in the ear of another and SPAT at same boy!!!! He's like a wild child and there's just no talking to him - he puts his hands over his ears and SCREAMS. He repeats everything people say - so if another 2 kids are having a conversation, he stands there and copies word for word what they say which really annoys them. He throws himself on the floor, jumps on furniture, won't listen. I had to physically restrain him today (not hard) while he screamed. I didn't even raise my voice, just kept asking him why he was screaming. When his mum collected him, he promptly KICKED her :eek: I told him off and he stopped. Feel so sorry for her, as she's on her own (though it sounds like the dad is supportive). I felt really awful for phoning her, but I had to think of the other children. If it had just been him here then I probably wouldn't have done. My SIL said it sounds like he's got autism, his mum said she thinks his bipolar...I think there's definitely some underlying 'problem', there's got to be - surely it's not just being naughty?? He lies too - one example was he came and told me my DS had punched him really hard. I knew he was lieing...and how did I know? Because my son was standing right next to me at the time and this mindee was in a separate part of the room :(
Any advice from anyone out there would be greatly received....why me? I'm going to get all my behaioural books etc out tonight, do some research on Google etc to see if I can come up with any ideas. I am also going to arrange a meeting with both parents, without the mindee, so we can discuss a way forward.
Now I'm going to have a couple of Nurofen...and later maybe even a glass of wine - after today, I've deserved it believe me!
I look after a 5yo boy who used to be very challenging. However, with a lot of patience and consistency and all working together, he is now lovely (not an angel by any means but sooooo much better than he was!) NOW I've started minding another boy, he's 4...and I feel he's a different story completely! Today I had to phone his mum to come and fetch him as I was truly worried for the other children in my care - and rightly so, as after I had done this he smashed a door into one of their faces, shouted in the ear of another and SPAT at same boy!!!! He's like a wild child and there's just no talking to him - he puts his hands over his ears and SCREAMS. He repeats everything people say - so if another 2 kids are having a conversation, he stands there and copies word for word what they say which really annoys them. He throws himself on the floor, jumps on furniture, won't listen. I had to physically restrain him today (not hard) while he screamed. I didn't even raise my voice, just kept asking him why he was screaming. When his mum collected him, he promptly KICKED her :eek: I told him off and he stopped. Feel so sorry for her, as she's on her own (though it sounds like the dad is supportive). I felt really awful for phoning her, but I had to think of the other children. If it had just been him here then I probably wouldn't have done. My SIL said it sounds like he's got autism, his mum said she thinks his bipolar...I think there's definitely some underlying 'problem', there's got to be - surely it's not just being naughty?? He lies too - one example was he came and told me my DS had punched him really hard. I knew he was lieing...and how did I know? Because my son was standing right next to me at the time and this mindee was in a separate part of the room :(
Any advice from anyone out there would be greatly received....why me? I'm going to get all my behaioural books etc out tonight, do some research on Google etc to see if I can come up with any ideas. I am also going to arrange a meeting with both parents, without the mindee, so we can discuss a way forward.
Now I'm going to have a couple of Nurofen...and later maybe even a glass of wine - after today, I've deserved it believe me!