Whatm would you do????

[Rain or Shine]

Hi guys

I haven't been on for a while as have had a very busy Christmas, i hope everyone is well and had a good time.

I really need you advise, I have taken on 2 kids boy 10 and girl 7. Today was their first day with me and the girl was really really rude, bullying my 18 month old, being racist towards multicultural dolls and equipment. She called my daughter annoying and said if she and her brother could go into the play room without us and shut the door as my child gave her headache. She was snatching toys of my dd, making my dd follow her and then moaning at her for doing it.

I only had these kids for 3.5 hours and the whole time i had to try and keep my daughter away from her.

What should i do? I'm thinking of ending the contract.......am i over reacting???

[SYLVIA]

Dont think I would accept that kind of behaviour from them. I'm sure you wouldn't want your child behaving like that towards another person. I'd be having a word with the parents and asking if they behave like that normally. If so, then I'd be canceling the conctract

[little chickee]

This child is testing you and your boundaries.
Next time you have them sit all the kids down including your own and explain clearly the house rules.

A 7 yo child is more than capable of understanding a few simple rules and obeying them.

She is seeing how much she can get away with and when she realises that there are consequnces for her unwanted action ( which you will explain to her) time outs, loss of privilges (tv, wii etc) she will more than likely toe the line.

I always start off quite strict so they know whos boss:D and then lighten up a bit.

[mushpea]

i would defintatly speak to the parents about the behaviour but also to the girl as shes old enough to understand what she is doing is wrong,,, you need to be firm from day 1 and make sure she understands the rules,, and the consequences,, sounds like shes the sort of child that if you dont lay ground rules now and be firm she will only get worse,,, could just be that shes pushing to see how far she can go and what she can get away with,,, I would give it a week and see if there is any improvment or if it gets worse then give notice.

[miffy]

Not nice! Think you need to have a chat with these children and establish some ground rules for their behaviour.

If things don't improve and you are within the settling in period on your contract then I would also be thinking of terminating the contract - nothing is worth the upset to your family.

Miffy xx

[mufftie]

omg thats sounds unbelievable behaviour ! i would insist on some ground rules and inform parents that if it dosnt improve over the next few days then you will terminate the contract . all my contracts state that i am able to do this within the first 4 weeks without notice , check yours and act on it as you dont need the stress

[Pipsqueak]

lots of already good advice.
monitor the situation closely as well.

As for keeping your daughter away from mindee..... noooooo:panic: this is yoru childs home - you keep the mindee away from your daughter so that might mean taking this rude and testing 7yr with you and away from everyone else till she can learn to behave.

[georgie456]

I agree with what has been said - she's testing who is top dog in this situation and you need to let her know it isn't her very quickly!!!! I think a little chat about behaviour is in order :) Good luck x

[glitzygal]

lots of already good advice.
monitor the situation closely as well.

As for keeping your daughter away from mindee..... noooooo:panic: this is yoru childs home - you keep the mindee away from your daughter so that might mean taking this rude and testing 7yr with you and away from everyone else till she can learn to behave.

I AGREE ABOVE, its your house, your childs hme and she should be showing you and your child respect,

sit her down each time she dissrespects you or your child and she isnt to old for a time out, even if its at the table,
mum would understand,

be strong as if you back down she will get worse, good luck,,:thumbsup:

[Rain or Shine]

Do you think maybe I have chosen the wrong career???

I was a Nursery Nurse for 8 years and was very good at it, yet now suddenly I am struggling to deal with this child.

To a certain extent I don't want to deal with her.

These 2 children are the only 2 I have, as newly registered. First day today and yet i feel like i am falling at the first hurdle. I'm not well, just found out i am expecting another baby and extremely emotional.

Not sure i can handle this, sometimes i don't think i can handle alot at all x

[OrlandoBelle]

Awww bless you. I know exactly how how feel. Congratulations on the new baby :clapping: You may feel emotional now as your hormones will be all over the place, but hopefully things will settle down in a few weeks.

You have chosen a brilliant career. You have just been landed with a difficult child. We all get them from time to time. It's just a shame that yours is your first one! I agree with Mufftie, if things don't improve in a couple of days I would certainly be terminating their contracts. As it was their first day I'm assuming they will still be within their 4 week settling in period. You don't need that sort of behaviour around your own children. They should be setting an example at that age. Do you have them every day? Did you speak to their Parents when they were collected about their behaviour?

Hope you have a healthy pregnancy and good luck in your new career. xxx

[AliceK]

I would be telling this 7yr old in no uncertain terms that her behaviour is unacceptable. I have to occasionally remind my 5 / 6yr old mindees that DD is only 3 yr old although they are never mean to her they sometimes can be a bit abrupt or rude. I will NOT tolerate any older child behaving in a bullying fashion towards a younger child and I would be telling her this and informing the parents that you will monitor the situation, use time-out if neccs and if things don't improve very quickly you will have no option but to terminate. Your DD should not be made to put up with behaviour like that in her own home :angry:

Good luck, and hugs, sounds like you need a few

xxxxx

[Ripeberry]

lots of already good advice.
monitor the situation closely as well.

As for keeping your daughter away from mindee..... noooooo:panic: this is yoru childs home - you keep the mindee away from your daughter so that might mean taking this rude and testing 7yr with you and away from everyone else till she can learn to behave.

There is no way that I would ever let a mindee bully my own child in her OWN home. You need to lay down the law with this 7yr old and maybe even get her to sign a behaviour contract (not sure if that only applies to over 8yr olds?).
If no improvement then terminate. I'm sure the parents will help you out and tell her to not even think of bullying a child in their own home :mad:

It's you DDs home, she can go and do as she likes, does not need permission from mindees.

[gigglinggoblin]

I would put it in writing to the parents, your dd is just the right age to start copying, if my child learned racist language I would be fuming! Give parents a letter stating you will be very firm about boundaries but if the situation doesnt improve in a week then you will have no option but to terminate the contract. Hopefully parents and you together will be enough! I would also add in that you have the right to terminate immediately in extreme cirumstances ( I am assuming you have this in your contract and you are in the probation period). Good luck!

[Bridey]

I always start off quite strict so they know whos boss:D and then lighten up a bit.

This is exactly what I do! I don't give an inch for the first week or two until the rules of the house have been established and understood. The boundaries are made very clear, as are the consequences of trying to cross them. The children settle very quickly and then I can be a bit more fun with them. They agree that one of the best things about me is that they trust me as I am very clear with them - if I say 'no' then I mean 'no' but, in the same way, 'yes' also means 'yes' and 'treats' means 'treats' :)

[1michelle]

Hello there

I am shocked at this Childs behaviour my mouth has dropped open lol. So much good advice given already go with your instincts and make no allowances your home your children your rules.

Good Luck
Michelle

[mr man]

wow how rude and annoying.
i have had a simplar situation, only mindee 4 had awful attitude to dd 8.
i reassured dd that its not nice and i wont let it happen. i continued to say speak nicley and not to be rude or horrid like henry.
had word with mum too, becasue i was not going to let him be like this and make my dd feel awful.
i'd stuck to guns, and mum was also supportive and had a word with him, and now its better.
big diffference in your ages, and thats why i tihnk its more annoying becasue they should know better, and she is acting like a spolit brat.

dont let it get you down, they need to nderstand and respect who is the adult and whats expected and certainly whats NOT allowed. they are definalty old enough.

sending you big huggs and positive vibes to stay strong.
congrats on baby news too. :)

[Bridey]

Rather than being a spoilt rude brat, I would say that the little girl is scared, missing her mum and desperately trying to take control of a really scarey situation that she finds herself in through no fault of her own. A big bravado act. Get behaviour boundaries and routines into place asap which will make her feel much more secure and settled.

[mummyofone]

As many have already said i would talk to the 7 year old and tell her that her behaviour towards your child is unacceptable and you will not tolerate it in your house.

I would also speak to the parents, if they have this behaviour at home you will know if this her testing you or if this is her normal self.

[Chatterbox Childcare]

I would take both the children to one side as soon as you close the door on mum, tell them what is and isn't acceptable in your house even if it is different from theirs

Ask them for rules too and write them down. Explain how their actions hurt others, they are old enough to understand and explain the consequences if you have another day like today and stick to them