View Full Version : A childminder for my own dd?

04-01-2011, 01:14 PM
Hi everyone,

Happy New Year :)

With the new year, a new thought has come to my head! .. I just wanted some opinions and basically to know if someone else has a similar arrangement going on...

Well, my dd is 16mths now and been with me since birth.. obviously as a childminder she's with me 24/7.
She's a confident and independent little girl, but I was wondering.. in order to further increase her independence etc. would it be a silly idea to send her to another CM for one day a week? Just to give her a change of scenery and basically to get used to being taken care of by another person than mum.

Is this a silly idea?

Thanks for your valued opinions :)
xx Saija

04-01-2011, 01:18 PM
not at all , i sent my youngest daughter to nursery 3 full days aweek as tbh its hard work being proffessional when youve got your own childs demands to deal with . like you i also felt it did her the world of good to be out of the house for that time as its not healthy to be under each others feet all the time , the education they get from attending a setting is incredible so go for it , you may even get help from tax credits to pay

04-01-2011, 01:31 PM
One of my sons went to a childminder for a year before he started nursery. His older brothers had all gone to playgroup, but he hated it, so I swapped him to a cm friend. He went 1.5 days a week & absolutely loved it. He was mixing with other children his age, whereas with me he was mainly with younger children, and it gave him something to do that was just for him.
It definitely benefitted him as he became much more confident.

The Juggler
04-01-2011, 01:33 PM
One of my sons went to a childminder for a year before he started nursery. His older brothers had all gone to playgroup, but he hated it, so I swapped him to a cm friend. He went 1.5 days a week & absolutely loved it. He was mixing with other children his age, whereas with me he was mainly with younger children, and it gave him something to do that was just for him.
It definitely benefitted him as he became much more confident.

was just going to suggest that you do a swap with someone you are friendly with to see how she reacts at first. thing is it is more difficult I think for them when they know you are at home with other children in the house and they are somewhere else.

However, if its someone you go to and socialise when you CM then she will at least already be familiar with the setting. she is very young still though hon. I might be tempted to wait until she was 2 at least.

04-01-2011, 01:34 PM
My 3yr old ds has been goin 2 nursery 3 mornings since he was 2yrs old. It gave him time away from me and chance 2 do sumthin on his own. He loves it and im so glad I did it obviously I miss him but it helped with his speech an when dd came along 9mth ago xx

04-01-2011, 01:36 PM
Both my children were at home with me until they started Playgroup a couple of mornings a week when they were nearly three. They had a year or so Playgroup and school nusery so built in that time from 2 mornings to five and then went into Reception with no problems at all.

They both changed Primary Schools, dd once and ds twice and they had no problems.

The main reason for me to become a childminder was to be able to stay at home with my own children. It never crossed my mind to send them to a childminder or a nursery. I really enjoyed being able to take them to toddlers, go on outtings, and visit friends.

When my daughter had finished her GCSEs she said to me she was so glad I was at home for her during her exams, she would have hated to be in the house all day on her own. It made me cry and feel so glad that I had chosen to work the way I have.

My dd is 18 today and I can't quite believe it. The time has passed so fast.
Both my two are Confident and Independent, have been staying away with Cubs/Scouts and going on school trips away since they were 8yrs old. Both are off to Sweden this year to the World Scout Jamboree. My son will have 2 days in Denmark first and 4 days with a scouting family in Croatia afterwards. I would enjoy your lo as long as you can she is still very little.

04-01-2011, 03:09 PM
DD went to nursery 3 days while I was working and I have kept her going 1 or 2 days a wk since I have been minding. She loves going and has her own friends. She starts nursery school in Sep so will be 4 mornings.

I do sometimes feel guilty sending her but when she comes out telling me everything shes done and who she's played with I know its the right thing for her.

04-01-2011, 03:52 PM
My DD went to a CM when she was a baby for about 4 months but has been at home with me since she was just under a year old. She is now just over 3. She is very outgoing and confident and has benefited from me looking after both younger and older children than herself. She starts nursery 5 mornings a week next week and when she went for her taster session she loved it. Ran off to play and cried when it was time to go home. I didn't stay with her for her session as I knew she wouldn't need me to. She will talk to anyone and happily mix with others without me being there. My DS (aged 6) on the other hand was / is the complete opposite. Very sensitive and quite shy and he went to a childminder from 4mths old until he was nearly 4 so I'm not sure it actually makes any difference, I think it's all in your childs "make-up" as to how well they mix and whether they are happy without you being with them.


04-01-2011, 04:29 PM
my dd aged 3 goes to a cm for 5 hours on a monday for the same reasons as you want to get her used to being away from me she starts pre school September works really well for me

04-01-2011, 07:24 PM
I agree with AliceK completely - my youngest DD was at home with me whilst I was childminding the whole time and she is really confident, has always bounded into nursery etc when she started at 4 yrs. My eldest DD was childminded as I was working in an office job then and she was really shy at school. I think it does totally depend on the nature of your child.

That said I think a few mornings away is good for them but I did always think that it defeated the object of being at home for me so didn't do it with my youngest DD. She would have loved it I am sure!

I'd follow your gut instinct and if you think it will be good for your daughter then it will be - I always think as a mum if you follow your instinct you are rarely wrong!

04-01-2011, 08:19 PM
I used to look after my next door neighbours 1yr old as he was very clingy and she wanted him to get used to being away from her. He hated it at first but within a month my neighbour told me he used to stand by the front door and listen for my car to came back from the school run. Going to preschool was no problem for him.

04-01-2011, 09:09 PM
I think there are differences between your own children to nursery vs a childminder.

I too have sent my DD to another childminder for 1 school day a week. She started in April, was brilliant till summer hols (did not attend) but this last autumn term has been quite tricky as lots of things changed at the childminder (other children were now at nursery in am, and 3 don't always play as well as 2, she was poorly with chickenpox, snow closures, sometimes I really doubted myself BUT I knew she had a fab time there (and I got some fantastic craft ideas from the other childminder :blush: :blush: ))

Anyway, contract was only ever going to be till December, as she starts nursery in about 10 days time. Is funded for 5 sessions a week, but I am only sending her for 2 a week, then 3 in the summer and 4 next spring.

My DD was 2.5y at the start of contract, and is now 3 1/4. She is a happy social confident child. My reasoning was so that she could start to form relationships outside the home / family.

DS2 was a nightmare when he started preschool - cried hysterically for 7 weeks. I simply didn't want a repeat of this. DS2 is still very insecure and lacks confidence :( .

04-01-2011, 09:16 PM
I have always been at home with my kids and worked weekends / evenings.

I have only been childminding 3 years, since my youngest was 1. She attended pre school from 3 and then moved to school part time in sep when she was 4 and is starting full time school tomorrow (sob sob)

Out of my 4 children, she is by far the most confident and social. I think my childminding has taught her so many valuable lessons. She is very caring towards others and shares everything freely.

Bitsy Beans
04-01-2011, 09:57 PM
I am in the camp of AliceK. I gave up working in an office for the very reason of being at home with my own kids. My DD is 2.5 and starts pre school on Friday <sob> so for me she's socialised with mindees (who admittedly are older than her) and will now be going with her peers at pre school.

Having said all that it's entirely up to you and what suits your lifestyle/children.

04-01-2011, 10:00 PM
I send my DD to nursery 5 mornings a week and she loves it.

She is hounding me to go back after Christmas but they don't go back until Thursday!!!!

04-01-2011, 11:43 PM
My DH and I were discussing this the other day.

My DD is only 8 months old, and for me, at this moment in time, I just couldn't do it. It would break my heart to leave her with someone else. She is already an independant little girl and will happily sit on her own with some toys while I do some paperwork, etc. Maybe i'll feel differently when she's a bit older (about 3 maybe) but right now I couldn't trust anyone enough to leave her.

05-01-2011, 08:22 AM
i considered sending DD to a childminder one morning a week ... but the one morning that would have suited me, was when i went to a local childminders group and the only childminder i would have chosen for DD would have been there too! so that would have defeated the purpose!

i have considered it for the holidays though ... :laughing:

05-01-2011, 01:05 PM
Thanks everyone for your replies - much appreciated as always :)

I shall think about this now carefully and decide what to do and what I feel is best :)

05-01-2011, 08:14 PM
Far from silly!! In fact our 2yr old dd goes to nursery all day on a Friday. I don't work it and I find that we are both much happier now.

She has grown and developed so much since going, more socially than any other way. She also loves going, and always tells me she's busy playing when I go to collect her.

I am much happier now that I have a day to myself as well. I go the the gym, get my house cleaned, catch up on paperwork and get all those jobs done that need doing when there are no kids around.

Does it make me a bad mum and CM to say that I pretty much live for my Fridays??? I start counting down to them on a Saturday morning!!!

05-01-2011, 08:22 PM
like you my son has been with me since birth, he is now 2 1/2. I send him to playschool 2 mornings a week and from september he will attend 3 mornings a week.

I think that it is a good idea for him to be with other children and also be cared for other people apart from me and his family. He absolutley loves the playschool manager, it's lovely to see them attach to someone that isn't family.

05-01-2011, 08:27 PM
After the day I have had with my 4yr old son I might send him to the after school club until his dad is home EVERY night !!!! :angry: :angry:

Very hard to be professional when you have a whining, screaming, tantrum throwing and refusing to share child at your ankles every night :blush:

Back to your post..........:blush:....... I personally would consider it yes it gives them a change of scenery and as much as we love them to bits its nice to have something to talk about when they come home from their busy day at childminders/nursery/playgroup. :D