View Full Version : Tantrums - advice please x

Lainey Lou
17-12-2010, 08:51 PM
Hi all, hope you can help me out and give me some advice. I am having a nightmare with my 3 year old dd, over the last week she has gone from being a lovely, pleasant natured, happy little girl to a completely different child and its just really upsetting. I’m hoping its just a phase she is going thru. Nothing has changed at home that I can link up to this sudden change of behaviour, she was off school last week with a really bad cold, high temperature and just not well at all, so maybe that is the reason. She is better now and back at school but before she went back she started having really bad tantrums, when I say bad I mean really bad lasting for an hour or so. She even had one out of the blue the other day when I picked her up from school, it was so bad and uncontrollable that the teacher came out to see what was happening. I’ve asked the teacher whether anyone has upset her at school and she told me that she always seems a really happy child and hasn’t noticed anything unusual. I’m just really worried that this is the beginning of an ongoing time and I’m worried that it will impact upon children I care for also. She just seems like she has a different personality all of a sudden and I'm feeling like I'm starting to tread on eggshells around her as I don't want to upset her. Please could you guys help me out with this one, hows the best way to handle these tantrums and have you experienced this sudden change of behaviour? I just want my lovely little girl back. Thanks for reading xx

17-12-2010, 10:08 PM
When she has a tantrum speak slowly and calmly to her and tell her straight that you will listen to her when she speaks to you nicely...then ignore her. If necessary use a 'thinking' place (chair/step/cushion etc) where she can sit until she's calmed down. Make it clear that you cannot understand her when she is tantrumming and that if she waits a few minutes until she can speak clearly you will be able to understand and see if you can help her. Once she has calmed down give her a cuddle and reiterate that now she is calm you can understand what she is saying. If she wants something you won't or can't accomodate then you need to give a reason as explanation and think about an alternative eg she wants to play a game now...but you are in the middle of preparing tea...can she help so that you can finish quicker and you can start playing the game....will she understand the kitchen timer (you can play the game after you have finished what you are doing and/or when the timer beeps).
DON'T bow in to tantrums. You said you don't want to upset her but pandering to her will definitely give out the wrong message and the tantrums will escalate. Better a little upset now than the tantrums getting worse and worse.

You've ruled out obvious reasons for this change in nature, which is good, but she is at an age where she will be taking in everything that is happening around her and it may just be that she has seen other children throwing a paddy and getting what they want, or it might be the after effects of a cold etc

17-12-2010, 10:36 PM
Is her hearing ok? Bit of a stab in the dark I know!