trumping!

[moogster1a]

Right, I posted this on mumsnet ( in slightly more robust terms!) and got roundly berated for it, so i thought I'd get the childminders' perspective.
My 5 yr mindee( who I've had since 6 mnths old, 5 days a week, 11 hours a day so know him very well!) has taken to farting right next to people and smirking. The other kids have started holding their noses and saying he smells of poo.
I told him he'd be a lot more popular if he tried to leave the room to do it ( also told the other kids not to be mean, don't be silly etc.). Told him quietly by himself
I'm sure he can manage this 'cos this is a very recent development and he finds it very funny!
My question is, is it reasonable to try to teach a 5 yr old the social niceties of not farting in front of people ( it's one of my pet hates and no one in the house does it ).
Judging from Mumsnet I'm a wicked witch giving him all sorts of physical and psychological problems! the attitude seemed to be we all fart in front of each other and I'm cruel to suggest he tries not to.
As far as I'm concerned, it's teaching good manners, the same as saying people like you more if you say please and thak you.

[venus89]

I'd have thought it's reasonable to suggest that he tries to not do it in front of people. Presumably he thinks this is funny, as children that age invariably do, and whilst I'm sure it's a perfectly normal phase of development I think part of our job most definitely is to teach them acceptable behaviour. If the mumsnetters think that farting in front of each other is acceptable, maybe that says more about them than it does about your childcare.... ;)

[Kes]

If it was an accident I would'nt say anything as 5 yr old boys do find it funny and its just something you have to put up with. I have 2 boys of my own and they find things like that funny and even though I hate "toilet humour" as I would call it as long as it did'nt get out of hand I would leave it. However if it is on purpose and keeps happening like you say it is I would probably do what you did and have a word with him. Some times it can go too far and stop being funny and start being rude and that is when you do need to step in and say no its not acceptable.

[singingcactus]

At his age it is an appropriate stage of his development. While it is a good idea to remind him he should really try to get to the bathroom, it is not a good idea to put too much pressure on him and make him feel very self concious (which I am sure you are not). Just gently remind him that it's nicer for others if he goes to the bathroom - or at least tries to get there. Probably not a great idea to tell him people would like him more if he leaves the room though.

[candy cat]

I think you are doing the right thing......my children say pardon me if they slip one out.....sorry!:blush: If I hadn't taught my son that it is not appropriate to 'fart'at the dinner table or in peoples company then he would still be doing it now as we all know what boys are like. I think as long as a child isn't made fun of and belittled then I think it's fine. 'parp' pardon I!:blush: :laughing:

[Penny1959]

I also think it is an appropriate stage of development and have cared for many children who have gone through this stage - icluding my grandson (who has additional needs) and who thought that it was very funny to only communicate through making toilet sounds (either real ones or pretends ones).

I keep a straight face while child (ren) are falling about laughing and then remind the person responsible to say 'pardon me' - I have found that sooner or later they just stop finding it funny. And all the children (including my grandson) have developed more appropriate senses of humour.

Penny :)

[Louise0208]

my 4 year old knows the do's & dont's of farting in public :blush: and would all use his manners (and blush lol) if one got loose :D

i think your doing the right thing & not getting all victorian nanny on him but reminding him that its not pleasent for others to experience his 'aroma' and use his manners.

to be fair most of us know when ones gonna happen (although there is the odd one that takes us by suprise :o ) so there is no excuse for it on a constant basis but he probably loves the attention he gets from the other kids when it happens.

[jane5]

I totally agree with you.

It sounds like he is playing up in front of the others and you are right that he has to be reminded of his manners.

Some adults (my ex's family and his sister in particular) think it is okay to just fart and even lean forward on their seat whilst doing it but I think this shows bad manners and would never allow my children to do it.

If my children fart they have to say pardon me!!!! I dont even like the word fart and they say the word pump or trump and they are now 25, 22, 21 and 17 lol:thumbsup:

[pinkbutterfly]

I dont even like the word fart and they say the word pump or trump

You made me smile :) My MIL (aged 83) looked after my 3.5 year old daughter when I had to go out. When I came back she said my child swore ('she said the F word'). I thought oh my goodness where did that come from as we don't swear at home. When I questioned her (my daughter) about it she explained she felt one was coming so she rushed into the bathroom when my MIL asked where she was going she said 'I'm going to the bathroom as I need to fart'. I looked at my MIL and she was serous ... I just felt like laughing:laughing:
Going back to the subject. You definitely did the right thing as he needs to know what is not acceptable. Unfortunately as he does it to get a reaction (which he obviously gets from the other children) he will most probably continue until he gets bored or finds something else to replace it. I would just ignore the fact it's being done on purpose as he knows it's not acceptable but I would try to get a 'pardon me' from him after he's done it again.

[marnieb]

lol we call them 'bunnies', don't ask me why!!

But yes, I think you should come down on his manners and get him to say 'pardon me' and have a word with the other kids and ask them to try and not react to him, and I'm sure it'll soon stop.

[francinejayne]

we call it 'parmatoot' - just thought I'd share - sounds quite pretty I think!!

I personally would ignore the fact that he is doing it, other than asking him to say 'pardon me'

if he really can't help it he might start to feel quite embarrassed or uncomfortable if too much fuss is made of it.

[Twinkles]

Nothing sensible to add just to say we call them 'bottom burps ' !

I don't think there is anything wrong in trying to instill good manners in our children.

[ORKSIE]

We call them "Pop offs"

[mamasheshe]

i encourage them to say pardon me :thumbsup: (we use the f word too)

[Heaven Scent]

Nothing sensible to add just to say we call them 'bottom burps ' !

I don't think there is anything wrong in trying to instill good manners in our children.

Snap Snap and Snap!!!!!!!!

[moogster1a]

Thx all. Glad I've not turned into Victorian disciplinarian as Mumsnetters seem to think!!.
On my last mention on the subject my 20 week old is about to levitate if he carries on but maybe that is a little young to tell him to excuse himself!!

[Ripeberry]

Sorry this thread is making me laugh. My DH is still quite 'infantile' about this kind of thing :rolleyes: Still thinks it's hillarious. Told him years ago, one of our kids would be like him.
And our youngest is, but she does say pardon me, but she does both very loudly and it is becoming quite annoying now and not very ladylike :blush:

[ChocolateChip]

Moogster I have done the same as you.
I have a mindee just turned 4 who trumps all the time, and whilst to start off with I thought ok, he can't help it bless him, recently it got seriously bad.
Honestly, he does it about 10 times every time we're sat up for lunch, at least he says 'pardon me' so I try not to make too much of it, but sometimes it is definitely a bit too whiffy for comfort when we're eating so I suggest he goes and has a try on the toilet.
Also when they're all playing with bricks or something on the floor he will just 'let one go' regardless of the fact that his backside is right in front of someone else's face, and it's really not pleasant for the other children. I feel that he is old enough now to understand that just saying pardon me is not a licence to trump at will, that we need to try and control ourselves so I encourage him (and the others) to go out to the hallway now if they feel something happening, lol! :D
At the end of the day, although what goes on in people's homes is their business, (and I am no prude, sometimes we all have a giggle about it) it's still not socially acceptable to be letting off farts in most situations, and surely we are only doing our job by encouraging manners and consideration for others?