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newandlearning
08-12-2010, 03:55 PM
hi guys..

before you think I'm mad.. I just wondered...

do you believe in allowing a 15 mth old to full access but to then tell them not to:

slam the door against the wall
shake the stair gate
chuck everything on the floor

and to need to follow me absolutely everywhere...

and if not allowed exactly what mindee wants then this is followed by bouts of widging.. not crying.. just a odd kinda noise like 'eeeyyyy...hhhuuuhhh...oooowwww'

its doing my head in... the mindee doesn't eat well.. doesnt sleep well...:panic: :panic: :panic: :panic:

I think its ok to set boundaries and say no.. rather than just allowing a free for all..???

venus89
08-12-2010, 04:23 PM
Yes, I do - if you don't let them 'explore' in this way and if you don't set the boundaries by asking them not to then they won't learn that some behaviours are unacceptable.

(However, I look after an 18 month old who drives me nuts! He either just carries on if I ask him not to or whinges and starts throwing toys about. He's been here since 7 months and I have absolutely no doubt he knows all the rules yet he persists in doing things he shouldn't. He genuinely finds it funny to do things which are 'no' things.... So I do undertsand your frustration. But persist and be consistent and they'll get the message x)

Penny1959
08-12-2010, 04:45 PM
Children need boundaries to help them feel secure - so you are right - somethings are just not acceptable. Mindee is still very young and some of what you are describing is age / stage appropriate (although very annoying and draining when day after day)

You don't say how many other mindees you have or their age, - so don't know if suggestion practical - But I did this with one SS placement who was very angry with everyone / everything - and it worked. Could you rearrange furniture when minding so you have chair very near stair gate / door so that you could sit there during free play to monitor mindees actions re gate / door very closely and try to intervien before actual slam occurs (or just sit on floor there). I know you couldn't keep this up long term but might be worth a try to put a stop to this particular behaviour.

With the chucking every thing on the floor - all I can say is reduce amount out at one time and stay consistant and persistant.

It might help if mindee could be supported to eat a bit more and sleep a bit more - but without knowing mindee or if have parents support - difficult to comment

Hope it stops soons

Penny :)

sarah707
08-12-2010, 06:25 PM
Some of that is normal for that age of child... some of it is a bit extreme.

Slamming doors ... my lot would do that if I gave them a chance so I use secure safety catches...

Playing with the gate... yup, my lot do that too, I just steer them away and back to the toys.

Throwing on the floor... consider your storage and how things are displayed. If there's too much out they might be overwhelmed. Sit with the children and teach them how to play - a lot don't have a clue!

If it gets too much bring a box at a time into another room and model how to use it then change to another so the children learn to take longer with things and really get engaged in their play. It comes with time spent playing with adults and learning to play and patience many children have little of neither.

Some children have scattering schemas and will always prefer to put the box on their head and move the toys around with their feet... I just support them to do it with one box which has their favourite toys in it rather than the whole playroom :laughing:

I ignore tantrums and silly noises... I am too busy having fun and playing :D

youarewhatyoueat
08-12-2010, 06:41 PM
Setting boundries is fine but try not to make it all negative by saying 'No' all the time as children do start to switch off if thats what they hear. Much better to teach by example often using older children to demonstrate the wanted behaviour and heaping praise on them. It also has the desired effect of making older children think about their behaviour when they realise how they can influence the younger children.
Try to spend the day not saying no as it makes you think about more positive ways to speak to children.