WOULD YOU LET YOUR MINDEE PAY YOU?

[VINASOL]

Mum came to collect mindees with this week's payment. Mindee (3) wanted to give me the money, so mum counted out the money into mindee's hand for mindee to give it to me.

So, I said, "I'm sorry but I woudl rather you paid me the money instead of X". She looked miffed but for some reason I don't want mindee to pay me what is due to me.

Was I right or wrong?

[PRINCESSDAISYFLOWER]

one of my mindees use to love giving me the money, I didnt see a problem with it

[Twinkles]

I think I may have said

' Thank you X can I have a raise please ?'

X would almost certainly have said yes !:thumbsup:

[kindredspirits]

it wouldn't bother me in the slightest - its not like its coming out of X's pocket money. :rolleyes:

[youarewhatyoueat]

Sorry but youre being ott and a bit unfriendly

[moogster1a]

I'm afraid it doesn't exactly make you look like a barrel of laughs if you don't let mindee do such a trivial thing!
Why would you have a problem with it?

[desiderata]

I dont care who gives it to me as long as I get itxx

[georgie456]

Um.....yes?! Why not?!

think it is lovely that your mindee wanted to hand you the money and it seems a shame that you said no to be honest - what a great opportunity for the little one to learn an important lesson on the value of money.

My kids love paying in shops - it makes them feel so grown up and responsible!

[Playmate]

Personally I can't see the problem.

[jelly15]

Mindee often pays me, it's fine with me.

[peanuts]

i have it in my policies that parent pays me and money to be in a sealed envelope. had the dirty look from kids when mum says cant affort to get you such and such due to paying me.

one sometimes forgets and i will maybe get it a day late with it in the bottom of his school bag.

[buzzy bee]

if they were bringing it (eg after school) i wouldn't like it but if you watched mum count out the money and she was right there I'd think it was sweet. it's the same as kids 'paying' for things in shops when their mum gives them the money and is right by their side.

It's good for eyfs too... PSED - self confidence, KUW - how money / paying people works, PSRN - counting, CLL - commnicating, CD- imaginative play...

[VINASOL]

Sorry but youre being ott and a bit unfriendly

:panic: hmmm, you're probably right:blush:

[VINASOL]

Thank you all for your honesty :cool:

For me, personally. We all say 'we run a business' and as cuh I felt uncomfortable with a 3 year old paying me! If it was in an envelope or something then fine, but for me it just felt wrong.

Probably for the same reason that I thoguht it was wrong when mindees parent's friend paid me in cash on the table in the nursery playground in front of mindee (6) (brother of said mindee) who had a complete meltdown saying that I do not NEED this money; his mum cannot AFFORD this money and I should not HAVE this money; that I was STEALING this money from mum.

For me, I want to keep it professional between me and parent; that's my justification/reason for it. :blush:

[juejue]

One of my mindees pay me every week. I dont see any wrong in it, as long as I get it

[Andrea08]

if a mindee had fees in school bag and it was short it would be very difficult but ok if mum is in the room... think because of all paperwork and crossing T's and dotting I's we can get tied up with whats right and propper.. dont worry about it xxxx

[jane5]

I agree with the others but I must admit that it makes me mad when a child is handing over the money but then decides they are not going to give it to you.

My friends spoilt dd did this to me once and was running around with it laughing and teasing me and stuffing it under the sofa, and mum thought it was hilarious. I was there pretending it was funny and cute but really all I wanted to say was give me the b***** money.:angry:

So really it depends on the child.

[Heaven Scent]

I wouldn't like it from a LO not in that way if it was in a sealed envelope then I wouldn't mind but I don't like the idea that a) a child may grow up seeing you as the hired help or b) that you only do it for the money (which I suppose we do but we do grow very fond of these children and usually their families) and I wouldn't like any child to know how much I am paid - I had a mindee who used to bring it in her school bag - dad used to drop her off and she'd go to the bag and get it out then one week when she was only here for one day as she was on a school trip she didn't give it to me so I thought that mum had not bothered with it as the child had so much else - child says she gave it and it wasn't amongst her stuff so it either got lost, someone stole it while she was on the trip or she had a lovely time in the tuck shop. I always made sure she gave it to me after that - but mum used to always write the amount on the envelope which I didn't like - the money part is between the parent and us as far as I'm concerned and the child shouldn't know what we are paid just as our children don't know how much each parent pays us.

[Lady Haha]

On the surface you think it's cute letting a mindee pay you and that they will learn from it etc, but after having one of my mums pay me last week in front of mindee and then having mindee go on and on about how I was taking all mums money, I do now think that maybe the money side of things should be kept professional!

If mum wants to let mindee pay for things, she can let them pay for things at the shop or something instead.

[georgie456]

On the surface you think it's cute letting a mindee pay you and that they will learn from it etc, but after having one of my mums pay me last week in front of mindee and then having mindee go on and on about how I was taking all mums money, I do now think that maybe the money side of things should be kept professional!

If mum wants to let mindee pay for things, she can let them pay for things at the shop or something instead.

That's fair enough, but I wouldn't imagine that the type of parent who happily lets their child think you are fleecing them would be the parent who would encourage their child to hand you the money as a little treat for them.
I know all of my parents have drummed into their childen that I do an important job and as such they would never be that disrespectful. I would happily let them do it - especially if mum is stood right there!

[venus89]

But surely if a mindee is going on about you taking mum's money and mum has none that's a parental thing? I have a mindee who often gives me the money. As with others I have no problem with it. But I would have a big problem if a child told me I was taking their parents' money. I work really hard for the money I earn and it's mine, fair and square.

[juejue]

Thank you all for your honesty :cool:

For me, personally. We all say 'we run a business' and as cuh I felt uncomfortable with a 3 year old paying me! If it was in an envelope or something then fine, but for me it just felt wrong.

Probably for the same reason that I thoguht it was wrong when mindees parent's friend paid me in cash on the table in the nursery playground in front of mindee (6) (brother of said mindee) who had a complete meltdown saying that I do not NEED this money; his mum cannot AFFORD this money and I should not HAVE this money; that I was STEALING this money from mum.

For me, I want to keep it professional between me and parent; that's my justification/reason for it. :blush:

I agree there. my mindee hands it over in an envelope. so I am happy with that. But to hand it over in front of other people. I dont think I would be happy with that.

[Chatterbox Childcare]

My children all pay when at the shops so I cannot see a difference

Personally I don't like sealed envelopes, I like it counted out so we both agree on the amount.

[georgie456]

I agree there. my mindee hands it over in an envelope. so I am happy with that. But to hand it over in front of other people. I dont think I would be happy with that.

Agreed. A friend of a parent counting out your money in a school playground is on a whole different level!!!!

[Noomie]

Two words - Bank Transfer!

One parent pays me cash and I find it so difficult to get it to the bank. The rest do transfers and it is so easy. Especially with childcare vouchers making up some of the payments as well.

I wouldn't have a problem with a child handing me the money though but I wouldn't like it in front of other people / adults etc in a public place.

[Chimps Childminding]

One of my mindees quite often gives me the money - though sometimes I have to fight it off her :D Dad gives it her as she gets out of the car at the end of the drive and she brings it in, but sometimes hides it in her pocket!!
Don't have a problem with it!

[glitzygal]

I dont care who gives it to me as long as I get itxx

:clapping: i agree

[Annie_T]

Mum came to collect mindees with this week's payment. Mindee (3) wanted to give me the money, so mum counted out the money into mindee's hand for mindee to give it to me.

So, I said, "I'm sorry but I woudl rather you paid me the money instead of X". She looked miffed but for some reason I don't want mindee to pay me what is due to me.

Was I right or wrong?

i can see why you want mum to pay you but letting mindee doing it you are teaching them bout money
i let my mindee give me money and we count it
i wont take money in town,playground etc unless in envelope x

[youarewhatyoueat]

:panic: hmmm, you're probably right:blush:

I think you've had a bit of a hard time being judged on this one!!

I think all it shows is that we all have been brought up differently with a different attitude to money. My parents were always saying it was rude to talk about money, I can hear them now!!

As it made you feel uncomfortable perhaps in hindsight it would have been better to have excepted it but said to mum that you prefer money to be handed over privately.
But I also think its a good thing for the children we care for to realise that it is a job we do and we get paid to do it the same as their parents get paid for going out to work.

I'm sure you're not unfriendly, sorry xx

[Pipsqueak]

I am quite shocked by some comments - if you feel uncomfortable with the mindee doing this then you cannot help how you feel and I do not believe that it makes you appear unfriendly or ott or unreasonable.
I must admit - i am not keen on being paid by mindees. One of my older ones brings the money sometimes in an envelope but mum always texts me to say he has it and how much is in it - i text back to say thanks got it . One of my LO's used to like handing me the money but refused to hand it over - that made me feel awful and yes, I am sorry this sort of transaction is between parent and me.

I don;t think you can compare it to handing money over in a shop - you are teaching/supporting these children a life skill - paying for things, social etiquette etc but I see the childminding set up as separate to that. I do not want the children party to the 'less pretty' side of what we do.

[VINASOL]

I really appreciate everyone's comments. If I had posted this on another site I am sure I would have been MAJORLY slated :laughing: so thank you for not doing that.:D

It did make me feel really uncomfortable, and I probably did over-react a bit (not like me :cool: ) but I think because I know what these children are like and the fact that mum tells them that they have no money at all (for toys I assume), seeing mum count out that money and to have the mindee give it to me would definitely cause more issues and they are too young to understand. Mindees already think that I shouldn't be paid :blush:

[louised]

One of my 3 year old mindees hands the money to me every week, she has done since she was tiny, she totally understands that the money is for the time i have spent caring for her and her brother as we talk a lot about mummy and daddy going to work and me working at home looking after her. I don't have a problem with it

[Mollymop]

I don't see a problem with mindees handing over the money, I used to mind a little girl with downs syndrome and on pay day each week, her dad would give her the money while counting out "1, 2, 3, 4" as he give her the notes and she would copy him and give it to me while counting it out. She used to love doing it and was a great learning experience each week.

[sonia ann]

I have read all these posts with interest and I have to be honest and say I too would have been very uncomfortable.
I think it depends on different ways we have all been brought up and I am not saying that any way is right or wrong.
As a child my parents never discussed money matters in front of me , and I was always told it was rude to ask how much things cost or how much you earned and I have done the same with my children at least until they were teenagers.
I have no problem with the children knowing that I get paid for doing my job and caring for them however I draw the line at them knowing how much I get paid. I prefer the money to be handed to me in a sealed envelope whether it is cash or cheque. My 8yr old mindee handed me a cheque this am and had a good look at it before giving it to me, this could now get discussed amongst her friends at school....:panic: no I'm sorry there are enough learning experiences about handling money without having to involve the children in this way.