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newandlearning
24-11-2010, 08:29 PM
hi guys...

I'm feeling really fed up after this week... I've had leaking nappies with poo on the carpet and loads of carpet cleaning to be done.. osteo appts coz I've hurt my back .. and on top of that the 3 yo I look after said today...

' my mummy is soo much better than you!'

to which I said 'of course your mummy is wonderful .. but its okay for me to be wonderful too'

mindee said 'no.. my mummy is a lot more wonderful than you and she's more intelligent!'

to this I said 'look I'm not in a competition with your mum .. I am ok being me and I'm intelligent to.. I do now feel hurt by your words though and don't think you are being very kind or friendly to me'

I feel soo flipping fed up and on top of that my council have over paid me for my funding over the summer and now aren't going to pay me again until april.. this means for the 20 hours I'm with him each week I'm only going to be paid for 5 ...

I feel crushed emotionally and financially...

and don't know if I'm being pathetic .. should I tell the mum about this? at the moment I just feel like getting rid of him :(

miffy
24-11-2010, 08:36 PM
I'm sorry you're fed up but I think you're taking this a bit too much to heart.

It's an odd thing for a 3yo to say - perhaps this is something his mum has said (for all you know mum may feel inferior and this is her way of making herself feel better).

Try and ignore what's been said. I wouldn't mention it to mum.

Miffy xx

youarewhatyoueat
24-11-2010, 08:39 PM
Ignore it, go and put your feet up with a glass of whatever you fancy and stuff everything else!!

Hebs
24-11-2010, 08:42 PM
tell him your playing harry potter and stick him in the cupboard :laughing:

KIDDING!!!!!!!

just ignore it hun, you must be fab otherwise his mum wouldn't leave him in your care xxxx

venus89
24-11-2010, 08:58 PM
tell him your playing harry potter and stick him in the cupboard :laughing:

:clapping: :clapping: :clapping: lol

I agree it's an odd thing for a child to come out with. Don't take it to heart, of course they think Mummy's the best, you'd be worried if they didn't, but I bet you are fabulous yourself! Hope tomorrow's a much better day

Pipsqueak
24-11-2010, 09:34 PM
Definately an oddly wierd thing for a child to say.

Never mind though - tomorrow you can dust down that superwoman cape that has obviously made mum feel like she has to drum a comment like that into her child and wear it with pride.

sending a hug xx

Ripeberry
24-11-2010, 09:59 PM
Sounds like mum has been 'projecting' her insecurities on her child. Very strange thing for a 3yr old especially to come up with :rolleyes:

The Juggler
24-11-2010, 10:00 PM
i agree it might have been something mum said. maybe he said how much he liked you and mum said, 'but she's not as wonderful as me though'. She might even have said it in jest.

Don't take it to heart. Hope you feel a bitter more up soon honx

Penny1959
25-11-2010, 04:01 AM
i agree it might have been something mum said. maybe he said how much he liked you and mum said, 'but she's not as wonderful as me though'. She might even have said it in jest.

Don't take it to heart. Hope you feel a bitter more up soon honx

Agree - sounds like child has been saying to mum about all the wonderful things he does at yours (or mum has just noticed and feels guilty / inferiour to you) and so has said to child that she is wonderful and more intelligent than you. And of course he loves his mummy and does not understand that would be hurtful to you to repeat comment.

So I would take it as a HUGE compliment - mummy is very intelligent (so she / child says) and she has choosen YOU to care for her son.

Hope other issues re carpet sorted and you have a great day today.

Penny :)

wendywu
25-11-2010, 08:41 AM
At age 3 his opinion of me would not bother me at all. More a case of raising ones eyes to the ceiling. :rolleyes:

I would not even respond to this as if he sees he gets a reaction then he will keep on.

No i would not tell Mum.

And to be honest next week you could be the bestest person in the universe.

Or you coul stuff him full of sweets and chocolate that would make him change his mind :laughing: :clapping:

kindredspirits
25-11-2010, 08:58 AM
at 3 I wouldn't even respond apart from to agree - I did have a 5 year old who told me that 'daddy said you can't drive because you're only a childminder'. :rolleyes: I told him that I can drive very well and I walk to school because its too close to drive and it would be lazy not to walk.... I was happy to say that daddy had got it wrong but not too fussed of anyones opinion of me TBH - I know I do a good job and thats all that matters.:thumbsup:

newandlearning
25-11-2010, 09:38 AM
hi ladies..

thank you for your response.. I shall try not to rise to this :idea: ..

say my name is Jenny... :o
every day this mindee comes to me he says 'today is a jenny day'..
'and tomorrow is a jenny day' then tomorrow is a mummy fun day..

I'm told this through the two days he's with me .. and I reckon I'm
told at least 2-3 times each day...

He's been with me a year and still this goes on and it does seem to
stop him enjoying being in the moment with me and everyone else
here...

so .. yesterday when he started saying all this other stuff too..
I just felt really c*** .. it doesn't matter what activities we do its still
the same...

yesterday we were doing junk modelling and some of the model came
apart and the mindee said 'my box has come unstuck'.. I said 'that's ok
we can fix it'... and that's when he said 'no mummy can fix it she can fix
things better than you'... and so the rest of the conversation then
unravelled.. it sometimes really takes my strength to do nice things with
him at times..:(


how would you respond to the mummy fun day thing ladies.. I've tried saying..
'that's nice'
'we can have fun here too'
'its good to have mummy fun days'
and
also ignoring! :rolleyes: :o

kindredspirits
25-11-2010, 09:40 AM
You have to remember this child is 3 years old. He is repeating what he is being told. Mum obviously has an insecurity issue with you caring for her son so makes sure that she reinforces the idea that you are not fun and mummy is..... don't respond to it. Just do what you do normaly, make the day enjoyable and try to feel sorry for the mum that obviously feels the need to poisen her sons mind to make herself feel better.

Ripeberry
25-11-2010, 09:51 AM
You have to remember this child is 3 years old. He is repeating what he is being told. Mum obviously has an insecurity issue with you caring for her son so makes sure that she reinforces the idea that you are not fun and mummy is..... don't respond to it. Just do what you do normaly, make the day enjoyable and try to feel sorry for the mum that obviously feels the need to poisen her sons mind to make herself feel better.

Well put! Got nothing to do with the child. He is just being loyal to his mum. Pity the mum did not think about what she is saying. Why not 'as much fun as?' Not "More fun with mum?" Think of it that way, it should not spoil your relationship with the actual child :)

ZoeAlli
25-11-2010, 10:34 AM
Have you asked the child what he does on 'mummy fun days' ? He might just get put in front of the tv or get loads of sweets, if this is the case then at least you know you are giving him opportunities that he doesn't get at home! It could also be that he gets all mummy's attention to himself at home and doesn't like that your attention is shared?

Don't make it competition between you and mum, just carry on as you would do normally, if he says something the best thing you can do is just ignore it. He will eventually tire of doing it. When he has had a good day with you and has not mentioned about mum being better, you could give him a sticker or certifcate for being friendly and making nice comments. Over- reward the good behaviour and the good things he does, this might help him forget to say those things.
hth :)