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View Full Version : Am I a bad childminder??



emmadines
24-11-2010, 12:10 AM
I dont think i can do this job anymore........ dont get me wrong, i love all the kids, the ones that have been here since i had started are like family.....

we do at least 2 activities a week - clay, painting gluing, sticking - even drawings etc etc, we go out when the weathers reasonable. The kids seem to like it here, as they are hard to get rid off at 6 loli should be happy cox of this and i am also home with my kids.......the business has been more of a success then id ever imagined... 2.5 years and still a full house through out. i can live with the what ifs - will they terminate the contract, will they pay me on time, do i need to get this done n that???

but I want my house back, my family etc, etc.... i guess its partly as im at college doing my access course to hopefully get into uni.....


Emma
x

Louise B
24-11-2010, 12:24 AM
Just wanted to send some hugs ((( ))) It does seem to take over your life sometimes, although the good parts are outweighing the bad for me for now :) I've found that my oldest daughter has really tried it on though, she does things on the way home from school that the others copy, and it's causing major problems, and then stands on her chair at tea time, leaves the table to get things, etc. She's lost the right to go to parties because of her behaviour, but it's carrying on and reasoning isn't working. Last week I was sat on the kitchen floor, crying (the mindees had gone home! lol) as I'd worked 10 hours and had to clear up then organise my youngest's birthday party for the next day, with no help. I would've quite easily have jacked it in there and then. But in reality, I love the job, it's very busy and tiring, the pay isn't great, but I love being home for the kids, and having my house full of other kids - apart from the obvious ones, like the thief! lol.

I only registered my downstairs, so it does feel like we've got upstairs that's "ours", and most of my mindees are after school only, so it's not quite taken over yet, but may well do when I take more on.

Could you afford to cut your hours down or cut down on how many children you have? Or find an area of the house that you can keep private-ish? I hope you can find a way to compromise without driving yourself nuts ((( ))) it's hard to get a balance sometimes.

xxxx

emmadines
24-11-2010, 12:33 AM
Just wanted to send some hugs ((( ))) It does seem to take over your life sometimes, although the good parts are outweighing the bad for me for now :) I've found that my oldest daughter has really tried it on though, she does things on the way home from school that the others copy, and it's causing major problems, and then stands on her chair at tea time, leaves the table to get things, etc. She's lost the right to go to parties because of her behaviour, but it's carrying on and reasoning isn't working. Last week I was sat on the kitchen floor, crying (the mindees had gone home! lol) as I'd worked 10 hours and had to clear up then organise my youngest's birthday party for the next day, with no help. I would've quite easily have jacked it in there and then. But in reality, I love the job, it's very busy and tiring, the pay isn't great, but I love being home for the kids, and having my house full of other kids - apart from the obvious ones, like the thief! lol.

I only registered my downstairs, so it does feel like we've got upstairs that's "ours", and most of my mindees are after school only, so it's not quite taken over yet, but may well do when I take more on.

Could you afford to cut your hours down or cut down on how many children you have? Or find an area of the house that you can keep private-ish? I hope you can find a way to compromise without driving yourself nuts ((( ))) it's hard to get a balance sometimes.

xxxx



not really, i only do b4 n after school, but im at college during school hours 3 days a week, the rest is me catching up with paperwork, college work and housework, also trying to keep intouch with my outside friends - (rarely tho)

Penny1959
24-11-2010, 04:21 AM
I have been in your position - childminding, studying, no time for anything else, my house like a cross between a ELC centre and a tip. Own children fed up and complaining.

Had offer of a job, took it, loved it for 3 years - but then things started to go wrong - change in job role (their doing not mine) health getting worse (stress related), not feeling doing a worthwhile job - no job satisfaction - being told what to do, when to do it, how to do it, and worse really missing working directly with children.

So back to childminding and loving it.

I suppose what I am trying to say is - the grass is not always greener on the other side.

Maybe it is time for some of that self reflection stuff - So first do you really want / can give up childminding - questions such as -How much do you need to earn?, How else could you earn that amount? What would be the benefits to you, to the family if you stopped childminding?
What are the good things about childminding?

Then if decide - can't afford to give up childminding / no other job options / on reflection just a difficult / busy time in your life and things getting on top of you. Some further reflection will be needed on how you could make things better for yourself - sometimes just a little change such as different storage options / less free choice for the children/ a strict tidy up time with the children and then either computer time / TV time for last 20mins or so before parents come. Cutting hours minding or if one family / child is causing stress.

So much really - and deep down YOU will know what it is you want to do and what you can practically do.

Should you decide to give up childminding - my advice would be - don't de register because if things don't work out as you hope you can always start bak childminding.

I was really silly and de registered and then had to spend loads to re register again.

Good luck in whatever you do - sometimes a change can be very beneficial - and lots of my ex childminder friends (but still friends) have never regretted giving up childminding and LOVE their having their house back to themselves.

Penny :)

pinesidedenver
24-11-2010, 03:57 PM
No your not a bad childminder but I think I kind of know where your coming from. I have only been registered since January of this year and I have 3 children of my own and planning another and 4 on my books. Although only been at it for a short time I still feel like pulling my hair out and giving the whole thing up and if I won the lettery believe me I would. I feel at times that my house has been taken over by other people's children and I never have a min to myself and find myself counting the days till the weekend and when it does come it flies past. I may only have 4 on my books at the moment but i do long hours 5am-3pm (day shift) & 11am-8pm (Late shift) mon-fri and it takes it's toll on me at times. The only thing that keeps me going is that I get to be at home with my youngest who is 21 months. You have to sit back and look at the advantages and the disadvantages and weigh up what is best for you and yours. You sometimes only get one chance at things so don't put things on the back burner because you feel bad or that you think you are a failure at the childminding because this is not the case. I was putting off having another child of my own because I had committed myself to my clients but i have had a few use me for a few weeks then leave etc etc and feel used at times by the public so I have come to the conclusion that I am no longer putting my life on hold for others and I am going to do whats best for me. So don't be feeling bad and I hope I have maybe helped in some way and I'm sure you'll make the right decission. Feel free to get in touch anytime.:)

grindal
24-11-2010, 04:33 PM
It is easy to get down when childminding. There are no colleagues to talk work problems through with, and because we are working from our own homes we have no opportunity to get away from things. However, I find it helps to compare what would be getting to me if I was working outside my own home again.

Just remember to put yourself first from time to time - good luck

Gherkin
24-11-2010, 05:59 PM
I totally understand how you feel. I'm having a real moment of: "wanting my house back". We have all been ill lately and I am tired, more tired than when my two were newborns. I think that I need a holiday (luckily have one in a couple of weeks) and the christmas break.

When I feel like this I get very demotivated and disorganised so am hoping that the christmas break will help me catch up.

It passes as I have been there before but it doesn't make it any easier when you feel like it. (((((Hugs)))))))

sandy64
24-11-2010, 06:18 PM
NO NO NO your not you are a great childminder just wanting a change and needing your house back i totally understand your decision it does feel like our houses aret our own so you do what you need to do and dont feel bad about it:)

emmadines
24-11-2010, 10:01 PM
admittedly working with children let alone in my home was never on my career plan and was only supposed to be a sort term thing - its been almost 3 years :S - I love all my minded children but now my kids are at school I just want to me me - not always tiding up after everyone else's children, replacing things that quiet frankly the minded kids could care less about.. and so on... access to health care is hard, Im sure paramedic science will be too...... its gonna be a big change... its not going to happen over night and till I know what Im doing I will stick with it.