12yo DS...'can't be bothered'

[Helen Dempster]

Hi all

my 12yo ds is pre-hormonal/turning into Kevin the teenager!!!! He "can't be bothered" with anything, always saying "I'm bored" and if I try to talk to him he puts his headphones in :eek: I'm getting fed up myself trying to help him! I had a call from his English teacher on Friday saying that him and some of his friends are being silly in class and she had to send him out for making silly noises with his book on his head (sounds really funny I know!) but he's an intelligent boy and his work's suffering due to his silliness and lack of focus - which is what she's concerned with. He's always fidgeted, can never sit still and has been like that since the day he was born, he also has a temper on him. He lives with his dad (we split up a few years ago now - another story!) He's never gone without, his dad buys him everything! I have trouble with him cos of that, as I don't have pots of money to spoil him and he has to earn stuff with me!

I've tried talking to him about what he'd like to do career wise, but he has no clue (I thought if I could find that out, we could talk about the lessons he would need to concentrate on to go towards it). From a young age he always wanted to join the army, but since last year or the year before, he's decided it's not what he wants anymore - "I don't want to get shot" is what he said!

Anyway, have any of you been there, done that so to speak? And can you offer any guidance, cos I'm at the end of my tether with him.

[Sarahbelle]

Can't offer any advice but just wanted to say "join the club". Only mines 14. Just had academic mentoring and lets say it didn't go well. His excuse for his poor performance is "its boring and repetitive". I don't know what to do either:(

[JCrakers]

Sound exactly like my son.....:)

Hes 11 (12 in April) and the stuff you wrote we could quite easily be talking about the same person. Everything is boring...I'll ask him what hes done at school and he replies 'Boring stuff'..
We have a laugh about that as I say "Boring stuff AGAIN, I'm going to ring the school and talk to them about all this Boring stuff you keep doing"..lol
I joke and say if I was to take you skydiving and push you out a plane, you'd land and say 'That was boring!'

It's and age thing and yes he is a lot like Kevin..I think boys have to be acedemically stimulated differently at school..they like hands on stuff, not just sitting and listening (Hubbie doesnt sit well and listen either, especially when hes got the TV on :D)

I think 12 is young for deciding what they want to do when they grow up. My son has shown interest in the police but that may change. I feel its just a stage most teenagers got through and I wouldnt worry too much about it. As for his school work I hope it picks up but its so hard isnt it.
Becky x

[maryp0ppins]

Its the same for girls too.

My girls are 12 & 13 & everything is boring also.... If i have a joke with them they think I'm embarrassing or 'gay' (school slang for idiot):rolleyes:

I kind of remember being their age and also thinking school was boring etc etc...the only time I was happy was messing around with my mates.

It's gotta get better but i dare say there are a few years left of them being bored & me being embarrassing and 'gay' (school slang for idiot)

[JCrakers]

Its the same for girls too.

My girls are 12 & 13 & everything is boring also.... If i have a joke with them they think I'm embarrassing or 'gay' (school slang for idiot):rolleyes:

I kind of remember being their age and also thinking school was boring etc etc...the only time I was happy was messing around with my mates.

It's gotta get better but i dare say there are a few years left of them being bored & me being embarrassing and 'gay' (school slang for idiot)

:laughing: Yes, I get the 'Gay' thing too....I tried sitting him down and explaining that is not nice to call people or objects that..doing the chat with him about everyones equal etc. Think it probably goes in one ear and straight out the other

[Helen Dempster]

Oh yeah, i get the gay thing too...and he calls his little bro a "retard"!!! Also that stupid word - "sick" (means really good apparently!) I tell him it means vomit and it doesn't make any sense to use it as a word that means good....maybe it's just me getting OLD ;)

[nokidshere]

We get the "gay" thing too - just bizzare how they get into stuff like that.

Everything is boring (except cricket - thank goodness The Ashes will cheer him up lol) and "can't be bothered" is also a standard response to most things.