strawberry birthmark - anyone with experience?

[buzzy bee]

One of my mindees has one of these on his cheek, it's very prominent...

Firstly, I'm always pretty worried about it - especially with other little ones grabbing it or him falling on something and making it bleed. I never feel totally at ease as I'm always worried about that.

Secondly, children, and to my horror, adults, are constantly pointing it out and asking me about it.

Children I don't have a problem with - i think it's good that they ask. I do sometimes get a bit annoyed with the ones who keep on pointing to him and pulling faces. He's only 1 but soon he'll start to understand.

Adults always seem to want to tell me about how 'they should be able to do something about that' which makes me want to tell them to mind their own business. I feel so sorry for mum if this is what she has to put up with when she goes out!

I just wondered if anyone has experience of one and if you can put my mind at rest about hurting it and also what can I say to other children when they ask about it, so that they understand it's not something bad. I usually just say it's a birthmark and that it doesn't hurt...

Thank you :)

[mushpea]

my son had one on his head when he was born,,, people would look in the pram then look horrified and i felt i had to explain myself each time ,, looking back on it I should have just ignored the looks and comments,, as for hurting as far as i know it didnt hurt him and nor did it bleed,, his disapered complety by the time he was 3yrs old

[The Juggler]

I met a lady in hospital having my dd. her dd was nearly 10 weeks early and had lots of these '3d' birthmarks. she even had them internally on her liver.

At the end of the day it's no different to a cleft palate, hare lip, black skin and you have to educate kids and ignore those who stare but not sure about the physical dangers hon. I don't think they bleed that easily but couldn't say for sure.:)

[Blaze]

My first mindee had a very large one on his neck - as he grew it got smaller & smaller, then started to break up - his is 4 & 1/2 years now & it's practically non-existent:thumbsup: I pretty much left it alone except for extra suncream & a plaster over it when he had CP & was scratching it!
PS He was 8 months when I first started caring for him.

[Penny1959]

One of mindees also had one - no problems at all - sure it did not hurt her and it did not bleed.

Agree with comments about 'differences' - good idea to help the children understand that we are all different but it is not how we look that is important - it is how we are as people.

One of my new mindees has a problem with being small for his age and thinks his taller friends are in someway better than him. So we have been exploring differences and talking about issues around this. For example I discuss the fact that I am much larger than average but that does not make me a bad person and does not stop me from doing all the things that I want to nor does it stop me from having friends.

One of the things I do all the time is help the children to recognise 'similarities and differences' as I think this is the core thinking that is needed to understand equality. So we discuss the differences and similarities (both with real objects and play items) in the farm animals, the cars, the fruit and so on. (My new mindee of course not having opportunity to explore these issues with me yet).

Penny :)

[singlewiththree]

My daughter had a huge one on top of her head and she had no hair really until she was 2. She still has it (age 5) but its now flat and is slowly going.

Is this the type of birth mark that will go? She was referred to the hospital as it was near her soft spot but then discharged as she was fine. Have the parent's spoken to the HV about it and does it bleed a lot?

If it is bleeding alot they may need to do something.

As for the comments, I preferred them to being pointed and whispered about, however it did annoy me the parents who let their child prod it and prod it for fun!!! :angry:

[buzzy bee]

good idea to help the children understand that we are all different but it is not how we look that is important - it is how we are as people.



Thanks for all the comments and reassurance!

How do you help children understand this - just wondering how to phrase it to them really. When they're asking what it is and why he has it - I don't really know what to say other than 'that's how he is' - but is this enough for a 3 yr old? it doesn't seem to be as they keep asking...

I'm not talking about my other mindees here, I mean other kids at playgroups etc. My mindees are fine bout it!

[sonia ann]

just wanted to share this photo of my son at 10 weeks old back in 1985.
He was born with a haemangioma on his cheek just in front of his ear. When the midwife handed him to me she she was almost apologetic and full of sympathy but I was so pleased that there was nothing else wrong with him and he was fit and healthy it really never bothered me.
he was seen by a consultant before we came home who advised us to wait and see what happened over the next few years and sure enough it gradually shrank until you could barely see it, nowthere is only a depression to show where it once was.
We were told that it could possibly bleed a lot if he grazed or banged it because of the increased blood supply to the area but to just treat it as normal and apply pressure if it happened.........it never did.
As for comments, children seemed to just accept my explanation that he was born like it and it was called a birth mark. Adults were the worst, one old lady accused me of hitting him, another told me i must have done something bad in my life,..............my own mil told me it was because i used to rub my tummy when i was pregnant !!

[Blaze]

Just say it's a type of birthmark - do you know where yours is? (I'd then show them my mole on my leg), My eldest DD has a mark on her tummy & one of the back of their neck....& so on - make it a way of showing children they are all special & unique (even those at play group IYSWIM):thumbsup:

[angeldelight]

just wanted to share this photo of my son at 10 weeks old back in 1985.
He was born with a haemangioma on his cheek just in front of his ear. When the midwife handed him to me she she was almost apologetic and full of sympathy but I was so pleased that there was nothing else wrong with him and he was fit and healthy it really never bothered me.
he was seen by a consultant before we came home who advised us to wait and see what happened over the next few years and sure enough it gradually shrank until you could barely see it, nowthere is only a depression to show where it once was.
We were told that it could possibly bleed a lot if he grazed or banged it because of the increased blood supply to the area but to just treat it as normal and apply pressure if it happened.........it never did.
As for comments, children seemed to just accept my explanation that he was born like it and it was called a birth mark. Adults were the worst, one old lady accused me of hitting him, another told me i must have done something bad in my life,..............my own mil told me it was because i used to rub my tummy when i was pregnant !!

I think thats really nice of you to share your story Sonia
Back then in 85 people were not so understanding either and did not care what they said - I know people are still the same but must have been so much more difficult back then for you
I think its awful that people thought you had hit your son - how rude and ignorant of them

My hubby has a nasty birthmark on his leg near his knee
It is brown and large he had a terrible time of it at school when he had PE etc
Kids and adults said it looked like poo
He takes no notice these days and does not even care when wearing shorts - he hated it when he was a child though.

Glad your sons faded over the years

I have a few strawberrys on my arm and on my chest but they are only tiny things .

My daughter had one on her leg and it used to bleed all the time - she was due to have treatment and it sort of just faded when she was waiting for the appointment

I dont think you will ever stop people young or old being cruel - its the way you deal with it though thats the key!

Angel xx

[Adiamond]

Hi, I have a huge birthmark that starts at my left wrist it goes up to the top of the inside of my arm and gradually fades across my chest, mine it flat to my skin and looks like a huge coffee stain.
When I was younger I used to HATE showing my arm, the kids at school used to say haven't you washed that muck/ poo/ coffee stain off yet? I hated it. I tried washing it off putting fake tan on nothing ever covered it apart from having a sun tan and then the front of my arm sort of blends in with the rest.

As I have got older I don't even notice it is there anymore it doesn't bother me in the slightest I have even had a tattoo across my wrist so I haven't got any problems showing it off now :D .

People can be soooo cruel you just have to learn to ignore, took me a long long time but got there in the end. x x x x x

[pinklady]

DS1 had one on his right eyelid. It wasn't there at birth, but started at around 6 weeks. I thought he'd just scratched his eye ( as newborns do) and my HV was the one that spotted it.

It got pretty big and affected his eye sight but thankfully that was sorted by him wearing an eye patch on the 'good' eye. It never bled. We were under our local eye hospital but eventually got referred to Great Ormond st where the consultant said 'oh if I'd seen him early on I would have just lasered it off' :angry: :angry: :angry: He had surgery aged 3 to remove it and was home the same day and you'd never know it was there.

People were very cruel and stared at him all the time. Children would ask what it was and before I could answer the parents would usher them away :( People are so cruel. when he was in his hip cast for his dislocated hip I got asked by an old lady in Tesco what I'd done to him. :panic:

So don't worry it will get sorted or fade by itself :thumbsup:

[The Juggler]

OMG Sonia and Jessie - people can be so cruel:( at least in this job you hope we can have some influence to teach children tolerance from a young age so they don't turn into these judgemental people:angry:

[Vickster]

My daughter has one on her shoulder which is gradually shrinking she is 17 months x

[sarah32]

My daughter was born with a birth mark on the side of her face, we call it her special mark and she loves it, when younger I had people stare and other children asked what it was and explained its a birthmark.

Shes now 7 and all the children and herself doesnt even really realise its there anymore. Weve never considered having it lasered, that would be her decision when she is older.

She also had a strawberry birth mark that appeared after she was born under he arm, totally devasted but it soon disappeared, you can see it if you really look for it as still slightly different colour.

[paula walsh]

my little girl now 8 had one on her thigh it was really bad at birth but by 3 it had completly gone.. you wouldnt even know shed had one....

[igglepiggle]

Hello! My little boy has a strawberry birthmark (or haemangioma if you want to be very clever!) on his forehead. He has made it bleed once and it bleeds ALOT as it is just filled with blood but he has knocked it and the surrounding area quite a few times and it's been fine. His paediatrician actually said the more it is knocked the quicker it will heal as it destroys some of the blood cells (I assume!) although he didn't recommend this - lol!
YES, people do point and it's horrible and yes I've been asked on numerous occasions 'will they remove it?','will they do something about it' and have actually had people gasp and tell me 'how awful, what a shame'. It is my understanding ( and we are observing this at the moment) that they shrink of their own accord and sometimes go all together. Some children ( my little one included) will need a small operation ultimately to remove the excess and help reduce the scarring. Unless it it somewhere that will cause loads of problems (eye, nose, mouth etc) they will leave it a good 5 years or so to give it the best chance possible to disappear of it's own accord or they will need steroids, operation and laser to remove it - not too nice I understand.
What I have done is put together a little photo book of special people. It has both male and female police and fire officers, male and female doctors, male and female nurses, black doctors, nurses, police officers etc and then also children in wheelchairs, children with hearing aids/glasses, people with guide dogs and photos of children with a range of birth marks. The children I look after are able to look through it and ask as many questions as they like.
Funnily enough, the children I look after and my LO's friends don't even notice his birth mark and have never really pointed it out (I guess they assume it's as much a part of him as their eyes, nose and mouths are of them). It's just curious children and small minded adults who have pointed it out otherwise and feel they have the right to comment.
*breathe*!!! It is horrible for the parents though as at the end of the day the birth mark is ON THEIR CHILD and comments can be horrible. Anything you can do to deal with it in a positive light will be really well received I would have thought. xx

[igglepiggle]

PS thought I'd be brave like Sonia and add a little photo. Not a great one but one of the only ones I have on this laptop! It actually grew rather alot after this photo was taken but has no started to go more skin coloured (22 months later!) xx

[sonia ann]

what a cutie!
i thought i would just include the most recent photo of my son , to prove that it really has gone.............if you look carefully you can see a very slight depression where it was

[igglepiggle]

That's really reassuring Sonia, thankyou! Xx
Ps, lovely photo!

[buzzy bee]

I can't believe how ignorant some people are! I do get the 'such a shame' comment a lot as well...

thanks for all your responses. You've definitely helped. I can't remember who said it but I also have a little birth mark on my leg, so maybe in future I'll show them that (as long as it won't be seen as inappropriate to flash my leg to kids LOL!) and then ask if they have any (I do usually ask them if they have birth marks).

Love the 'special people' book idea.

I do worry that he'll get shunned as he gets older, I worry about the affect it will have on when he's older. But I guess I just need to make him (and others) see that it's just part of him and it's nothing bad.

People are very cruel, it's sad.

[pinklady]

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1040889070767&set=a.1006191883359.2000792.1481762873

You can see L's strawberry mark clearly on this pic as well as the traction that he was such a good boy with.

[emmaflossie]

My dad has a bright red birth mark across hes right cheek and across hes eye. hes nickname at school was patch which is something he never shared with us until we were a lot older. Its something i never really took any notice of as i was always used to it being there, however when i had my son he did ask about it. My dad being very self concious about it still found it hard to explain but i sat down and like many others have said told my son its something grandad was born with and we all have different marks and showed my son hes "tea stain" mark on hes neck. He never again asked a question about it. And now 2 years ago my cousins little girl was born with a raised birthmark on the side of her head and my son never even said a word about it as i had explained when he was younger about grandads.
However my cousin spoke to my dad about it as they had been offered the chance to go to great ormond street and have it lazered off. My dad advised her to take them up on the chance as any pain she might have to go through now is going to be less than dealing with what he has had throughout hes life.

So sad to think my dad feels like that but hopefully this little girl will be spared of the painful taunts from others as she grows up :(

[jaytravis]

just read through al this and it makes me feel so much better about jareds on this pic you can see his swelling but not the colouring as thats above it. its very reassuring to read that so many have grown out of them. and yes people can be very rude i have been asked to keep him covered up before

[marnieb]

just read through al this and it makes me feel so much better about jareds on this pic you can see his swelling but not the colouring as thats above it. its very reassuring to read that so many have grown out of them. and yes people can be very rude i have been asked to keep him covered up before

your son is beautiful - that comment made me almost cry!! what horrible ignorant people there are out there.

[flowerpots]

My son(3) also has one at the top of his head, its never bled and doesnt cause him any bother, when little ones ask what it is he says "it's my birthmark" and then proceeds to ask them if they have one, if they say they "dont know" he tells them to go and ask there mom lol

[stardust]

My sister (16) has a cherese colored one above her left eye in the shape of the united kingdom. I think its amazing but she covers it with a fringe.
my mum used to be accused of child abuse, once a doctor commented on it and said he would report her, she made him read through Carla's notes.

All people look but I hate it when people stare, i'm a speak before i think type of person and a few times i've kicked off over my sister.

Despite her birthmark she was never bullied and its never held her back.

Just say that it is called a birthmark loads of people have them and its just how they are.

You will find that your children will close ranks, children protect their own so at groups ect you will find your other mindees telling other people 'its a birthmark, that's just how he/she is' and if someone makes a nasty comment you will find your children putting them right.

[nipper]

Hi, I've just taken on a little 13 month girl who is so cute and she has one on her cheek. Mum said it appeared a week after she was born and could just as easily disappear. We have to be careful not to knock it as it could bleed and obviously apply suncream when it gets sunnier. I explained to my own children exactly what it was and they took it all in. To be honest I think you just tend not to notice it after a while...at least I don't. Not had any comments from other adults yet, but it's amazing how protective you feel over them isn't it?

[onceinabluemoon]

People who can say such dreadful things about babies and children are ugly on the inside even though they may look beautiful on the outside. :(