View Full Version : Safeguarding issues ... please help!

09-11-2010, 12:22 PM
I have namechanged for obvious reasons. Just looking for some advice.
My partner has just been informed he'll be arrested tomorrow(he's got to go to the police station himself), taken for questioning and then released. This is something to do with something that happened over 35 years ago. Without going into much detail it's something to do with abusing children (not by him but somebody who he used to hang out with). The police called a few months ago digging for some information as some people came forward and they kept mentioning his name with relation to him being abused. He denied everything.
He's just come clean to me and confessed that he was a victim himself. My head is spinning I don't really know what to think. It is a big shock for me.
The police officer said he can't tell him what he's being arrested for at this point and just said he'll find out tomorrow. Also mentioned not to worry too much (easy to say).
When do I have to inform Ofsted? I can't tell them now as I have no clue what it's for. Also I don't know if he'll be charged or what. Everything will come out tomorrow.
I've read the Statutory Framework but it only mentions about informing them about allegations of serious harm or abuse not about anything else. I guess if that was it they'd be arresting him now not warning him and asking to come to the police station.
I guess I'll be suspended from childminding for the time being with immediate effect. I'm the only bread winner at the moment struggling already as it is. I just feel like screaming .....................

candy cat
09-11-2010, 12:37 PM
hugs.....well you can't tell them what you don't know,so I would wait and see what it's all about then make the call! Don't worry too much cx

the happy house
09-11-2010, 12:40 PM
What a horrid situation!

Your partner must be suffering horribly having this all brought up.
As for his arrest, well, if it was serious the police would've been on the doorstep draging him away, not telling him to report to the station himself.

I don't see what you can telll ofsted at the minute. You have nothing to tell. Until your partner has been to the station and is made aware of what's going on himself, just sit tight. When you know more, give ofsted a call. Hopefully it won't be anything that will cause them concern, but make them aware anyway.

Best of luck x

09-11-2010, 01:04 PM
What a horrible situation for you both to be in.

I agree with what the others have said, there's nothing to tell Ofsted at the moment, so I'd wait to find out all the facts before giving them a ring.

And depending what it's for, you won't necessarily be stopped from childminding. Is there somewhere your husband could go during your working hours, so that he's not in the house? It's not ideal, but Ofsted will sometimes accept that so that you can carry on childminding. Of course, it really depends what it's all for, but it could be something to suggest to them when you do phone.

Hugs to you xx

little miss chatterbox
09-11-2010, 01:12 PM
oh gosh how awful for you and your partner.

I would say try not to worry for now (i know that's easier said than done though) but as you've said, if it was anything too sinister they wouldn't be warning him so hopefully it wont be anything that would concern ofsted.

Sending you virtual hugs and will be thinking of you, please keep us posted and come here for support - you're going to need it.

09-11-2010, 01:47 PM
Sorry no advice but just wanted to support you and hope that it all turns out ok. Thinking of you

The Juggler
09-11-2010, 06:05 PM
oh hon how awful. I hope they get to the bottom of it all and your partner gets some help:(

09-11-2010, 06:16 PM
Try not to worry too much until you know what it is all about.

My niece had to go to police station and was 'arrested' and then let go - (was all about a minor car accident so not the same issues) BUT police said it was how their systems work and if don't go to police station would arrest anyway - and may not release.

So it could just all be to do with their systems and your partner may not 'be in trouble' just part of their investigations.

As others have said wait until know if have to phone Ofsted - and if think do - maybe a call to NCMA first just to get their opinion.

Have everything crossed that all works out and you can continue childminding and your partner gets the help he will need to deal with all this.

Penny :)

09-11-2010, 06:19 PM
I haven't got any advice but just wanted to send big hugs.

Sara xxxx

09-11-2010, 07:55 PM
You must be feeing really confused, bewildered, upset. ((((((hugs)))))) to you.

We used to foster, we had siblings for 14yrs, the eldest one went back to birth family then a year later she got her brother to run away and go back to live with them...we reported him missing etc.

Anyway to cut a long story short, they made up a story about my husband abusing them. He was questioned but not told what the allegations were, he was told to voluntarily go to the police station a couple of days later and he would be under arrest. Solicitor, finger prints etc.

When we found out what it was about we were shocked, I informed Ofsted and they got someone to phone me, she was very nice and quite understanding.

An inspector came out to see us a few evenings later, we chatted, she looked though all of my paperwork especially my policies then she wrote out her report.

She said that she had 2 choices, they were to close me down with immediate effect or put restictions on the business.

She decided on the later, my husband had to be out of the house before the first child arrived then I had to phone him to let him know when the last child had left to let him know he could come back in.

It was horrible and it did go on for quite a long time, the case was dropped the day before it was due to go to court, then we had to wait for an official letter from the police, send a copy to Ofsted and then they dropped the restriction.

I am sorry if I've hi jacked your post a bit, but I just wanted you to know that although it is a really horrible situation to be in, there are people that will support you and Ofsted are human, they will listen and take your views and feelings on board.

Keep us informed if you want to, we are here for you to sound off to.

Once again (((((((((( hugs)))))))))) and take care :)

09-11-2010, 08:12 PM
Thank you for your support. I hope tomorrow is a better day.
Thank you karensmart4 for your post. It sort of made me feel a little bit more at ease.
I will post tomorrow.

10-11-2010, 11:04 AM
Hope all goes well. A female family member was arrested for hitting her child (long story and it was her ex that made the allegations). She was allowed to keep the children and kept on being bailed, it did take a while for the charges to be dropped, but they were in the end. SS had already been involved, but not cos of her but cos of her ex

little miss chatterbox
10-11-2010, 11:38 AM
hope everything goes ok for you and your partner today, will be thinking of you xx

jellybean cc
10-11-2010, 03:20 PM
Hope everything went ok. Have thought about you a couple of times today.

11-11-2010, 05:33 PM
I spoke to Ofsted. They weren't very helpful. Took the information and contact numbers for the police and then somebody rang me back asking if my partner is still there because he shouldn't be. I just said I have not been told otherwise and that I'm here and children are never left with anybody alone.
I really feel like a victim myself now. My children will be penalised because I work long hours and 6 days a week so they won't be able to see their dad. I know he's not done anything. And what he was accused for dates back to when he was 14 himself and is called 'gross indecency'.
I just feel so helpless ... and annoyed ... that a thing (that didn't happen at all) when he was a child himself can mess his life when he's 50!

11-11-2010, 05:50 PM
Get him to call victim support they may be able to give him some legal advice as well as support.

Wait and see what happens tomorrow, after all he was a minor when this all happend.

big hugs x

11-11-2010, 08:22 PM
Thank you for the advice.

It also just occurred to me ... will this incident come up as a complaint on Ofsted's website ... you know ... the place where we have our inspection reports displayed?

11-11-2010, 09:59 PM
Thank you for the advice.

It also just occurred to me ... will this incident come up as a complaint on Ofsted's website ... you know ... the place where we have our inspection reports displayed?

It won't come up as a complaint.

If Ofsted decide to shut you down until the investigation is over then that will be immediate (they will turn up probably unannounced to see you and bring the closure notice with them) and it will be put on the Ofsted site then.

It MIGHT show on his CRB check which you share with new parents but that depends on the outcome of the investigation.

I hope it's sorted quickly x

11-11-2010, 10:57 PM
Big hugs, I really hope that it gets sorted as soon as possibke for you. i am sure that you are worried sick. For further comfort.... none of my parents have ever asked to see mine or my husbands CRB and neither would I disclose it to them. I don't consider that they have a right to see it as they aren't my employer and it contains confidential information about ourselves that they don't have a right to see.

Big hugs, Jen x

11-11-2010, 11:11 PM
what a mess, for you and hubbyx

keep your head high, you havent done anything wrong.
have you spoken to parents, explaining to them with the situation,
not much i can think of,

hope all goes well, will keep eye out to see you on here hoping all this gets sorted soon., ;(((((HUGS))))

11-11-2010, 11:21 PM
What an awful situation for you all.

I can't offer any help or advice but just wanted to send you big hugs and hope that it all gets sorted very quickly.

You know you've got lots of support on here.

Thinking of you x