keeping things on a professional basis

[Pixie dust]

Hi I have been minding for one family for just over a year now and will be looking after their new baby in a weeks time. Over time I have become good friends with the family and they have started inviting my family and I to the childrens birthday parties, tonight I am feeling a bit guilty as they invited me to a family firework party this week-end knowing I was home alone(dh works away and my children are with their dad) and I have declined invite as didn't think it would be right mixing buisness with pleasure but feel torn as actually really like the family, how do you keep things professional when you build good relationships with families?

[FussyElmo]

I would have gone the party :thumbsup:

[Happy Bunny]

Why not go, as parents i am sure their children would love you to be there.
I can understand your point, but my children have been invited to mindees parties and they attend.
To me it is nice that they wish to include you, you can still maintain a professional approach.

[Twinkles]

A couple of very close friends started out as mindees parents.

We have dinner parties together and have just started going to a weekly pub quiz.

Mind you I no longer mind their children as they are older and don't need a minder any more.

[Gizmo]

I would have gone too, I mind one of my friends dd's and thought it would have been strange when we were out socially but its fine, and am becoming really good friends with one of my other mindees mums and we are trying to get a night out arranged

[Pixie dust]

Thanks guys I think it my nursery background kicking in... we couldn't babysit for families strict guidelines in place.

[Lady Haha]

I know how you feel! I have a family who have become good friends since I started caring for their son over two years ago. My son is 8 and theirs is 6 and the two are besty mates now. The family lives a five min walk from my house and often invite my son to go and play for a few hours on a Sat or Sun. At first I was confused and thought I was blurring the professional line because obviously I charge a fair old bit when their son comes here in school hols!!! The mum has always said, don't be silly, its your job etc etc, but there have been times when I can tell she hasn't been happy about something.

I got round it by saying that weekends and weekdays are seperate! I will sometimes invite mindee round to play for a few hours on a weekend and not charge for that time, but she knows that if it's during my working hours, its chargeabe, no matter how many hours she has 'in the bank'!

But going to partys and things like that where you are present, I can't see a problem with that!

[caz3007]

I have been minding for two families for 4 years and have become close friends with the mums. I have spent new years eve at a family party with all my family at one of their homes and we will probably be doing the same this year. We have all gone out for meals too and get on really well. They both agree, that childminding is seperate from socialising.

Another of my mums is the same age as my DD and her mum is pretty useless, she calls me her surrogate mum and I helped her with some employment issues the other day, she used some of my advice and sorted it out

I suppose it depends on the people.

[BlondeMoment]

I think if you guys are on a friendly enough basis for them to invite you, you should go.

I know what you mean about mixing business with pleasure. I've been stung on this before. Long story but when I was a Nanny, I considered myself really close friends with the family and told them a few personal things.

After a year or so of working for them I was taken ill and had to be signed off work for 4 weeks. They replaced me! And made up some story about how by coinsidence, they were going to let me go anyway because their "circumstances" were changing.

I found out they'd hired another nanny and when I challenged this and suggested they'd unfairly dismissed me, they tried to just brush me off. I was really hurt they could do this just because I'd needed time off. I couldn't understand why they'd do this to me. They knew how much I loved those kids and what a great relationship we had.
I went to citizens advise and they wrote them a letter demanding an explanation.

I guess they were scared I would take them to court or something so they then used the few personal things I'd told them to twist into reasons why I was an unsuitable Nanny. It was a pack of lies, and very hurtful.

So I'm not saying don't get close. Just hold back a little on giving too much of yourself away x These people only cared about me while I was fit and well and providing them with exactly what they wanted. Some people are incredibly selfish.

[sillysausage]

I think you can be both friends and professionals but it does depend on the family. Whilst I treat all children with equal regard (as it were) there are some parents with whom you can build a friendship (without impacting on your business or professionalism) and others who you maintain distance from.
I think it's great when you are considered as part of a child's extended family.

[miffy]

I would have gone too!

Childminding is no different from any other job in that you'll meet some people you really get on well with and want to socialise with and others that you wouldn't want to mix with outside of work.

Miffy xx

[Winnie]

I have been to parties, bbq’s, christenings and even a funeral :( but I always keep my professional hat on and a certain distance.
Its worked for me: friendly but not friends.

[Chimps Childminding]

I went to my first ever mindee's christening and I have also been to a few of the mindees birthday parties, but most of my parents are quite a bit younger than me (in fact most are young enough to be my children :( )so I don't socialise with them other than the children's parties!

[Happy Gardener]

Hi

I was lucky enough to be given the use of my LO's parents house in France this summer. Technically it was when I was still working at pre school & I was his key person, but I now look after him in my own house. They have offered again for us to have their house this coming summer!

I am very good friends with Mum, things are still professional, but I do get spoilt!The children are lovely & really get on very well with mine. My son classes the 3 year old as a brother :)

[sue m]

I've always been friends with parents and invited to family do's. The children are all grown up now but I'm still in touch with the parents and some of the children too. I'm godmother to one ex mindee. It's never caused any problems at all, I love still being in touch after so many years too. :D