not getting through to parents help

[TRACEY1969]

I have her mindee 4 days and if i haven't got a school run she needs to pick her youngest up from mine and if the weather is bad to come to mine. My assisant does schools runs where her eldest goes and 2 days a week i send her mindee up with my assisant. Due to bad weather i told parent to pick mindee up at mine instead of meeting at school. Mindee hasn't been to well tummy upset last week and cold. I don't know what she is telling her friends at school but my assistant over heard her friends talking about how i run my business. I have asked the parent if there is a problem and i have also sent letters to parents about if they are happy with the services i provide and any suggestions they may have. All are very happy including this one so she says. So why is she telling her friends a different story, i don't like gossip and i know she's not there when her friends are making remarks about my services i provide for her, but she must be telling them something for them to make remarks. What do i do and say.

This parents never tells her friends why i don't have her mindee some days ( e.g she had chicken pox, diarehea, then sickness.

[sarah707]

I think you and the mum need to sit down and have a proper chat about what's going on.

Hugs xx

[miffy]

I'd at least make mum aware that you have heard what her friends are saying about you - maybe time for a bit of straight talking.

If it doesn't stop after that then you have to make a choice of whether to let them get on with it or terminate the contract.

Miffy xx

[Erika]

I'd be careful about how you broach it, given that the parent was not present at this gossip session.

It may simply be that they have drawn their own conclusions - people do that all the time, because they do not understand how childminders work, and parents don't always want their friends to know all the ins and outs of their contracts - it's none of their business after all. It may be that she puts them straight if they criticise you in front of her, but she can't stop them from having opinions and voicing them, particularly when she isn't there.

It's difficult to know if she has been criticising you or if they have drawn their own views from something completely innocent, just as you can't know that she never tells her friends why her child is not there - but then she has no obligation to tell them that either.

I'd personally say something along the lines of "Assistant says she overheard (names of people invloved) talking" and say what it was that your assistant overheard, and say how it made you feel, and that because these people are her friends you are concerned whether she feels the same as her friends do and outright ask her if she is unhappy with the services you offer. That way, you are not placing yourself in the position of openly accusing her of doing something she may not have done, but equally letting her know that if she has said something, it has got back to you and you aren't happy about it. You are also giving her the opportunity to own up or raise any concerns.

[The Juggler]

I'd be careful about how you broach it, given that the parent was not present at this gossip session.

It may simply be that they have drawn their own conclusions - people do that all the time, because they do not understand how childminders work, and parents don't always want their friends to know all the ins and outs of their contracts - it's none of their business after all. It may be that she puts them straight if they criticise you in front of her, but she can't stop them from having opinions and voicing them, particularly when she isn't there.

It's difficult to know if she has been criticising you or if they have drawn their own views from something completely innocent, just as you can't know that she never tells her friends why her child is not there - but then she has no obligation to tell them that either.

I'd personally say something along the lines of "Assistant says she overheard (names of people invloved) talking" and say what it was that your assistant overheard, and say how it made you feel, and that because these people are her friends you are concerned whether she feels the same as her friends do and outright ask her if she is unhappy with the services you offer. That way, you are not placing yourself in the position of openly accusing her of doing something she may not have done, but equally letting her know that if she has said something, it has got back to you and you aren't happy about it. You are also giving her the opportunity to own up or raise any concerns.

:thumbsup: brilliant advice.

[angeldelight]

I'd be careful about how you broach it, given that the parent was not present at this gossip session.

It may simply be that they have drawn their own conclusions - people do that all the time, because they do not understand how childminders work, and parents don't always want their friends to know all the ins and outs of their contracts - it's none of their business after all. It may be that she puts them straight if they criticise you in front of her, but she can't stop them from having opinions and voicing them, particularly when she isn't there.

It's difficult to know if she has been criticising you or if they have drawn their own views from something completely innocent, just as you can't know that she never tells her friends why her child is not there - but then she has no obligation to tell them that either.

I'd personally say something along the lines of "Assistant says she overheard (names of people invloved) talking" and say what it was that your assistant overheard, and say how it made you feel, and that because these people are her friends you are concerned whether she feels the same as her friends do and outright ask her if she is unhappy with the services you offer. That way, you are not placing yourself in the position of openly accusing her of doing something she may not have done, but equally letting her know that if she has said something, it has got back to you and you aren't happy about it. You are also giving her the opportunity to own up or raise any concerns.

I agree

Angel xx

[onceinabluemoon]

I'd be careful about how you broach it, given that the parent was not present at this gossip session.

It may simply be that they have drawn their own conclusions - people do that all the time, because they do not understand how childminders work, and parents don't always want their friends to know all the ins and outs of their contracts - it's none of their business after all. It may be that she puts them straight if they criticise you in front of her, but she can't stop them from having opinions and voicing them, particularly when she isn't there.

It's difficult to know if she has been criticising you or if they have drawn their own views from something completely innocent, just as you can't know that she never tells her friends why her child is not there - but then she has no obligation to tell them that either.

I'd personally say something along the lines of "Assistant says she overheard (names of people invloved) talking" and say what it was that your assistant overheard, and say how it made you feel, and that because these people are her friends you are concerned whether she feels the same as her friends do and outright ask her if she is unhappy with the services you offer. That way, you are not placing yourself in the position of openly accusing her of doing something she may not have done, but equally letting her know that if she has said something, it has got back to you and you aren't happy about it. You are also giving her the opportunity to own up or raise any concerns.

This is exactly what I would do too.