need advice r.e mindees behaviour please

[sandy64]

hi i wrote about this lo a few weeks ago thanx for advice, but really need more lo 16mths old her behaviour is getting worse takes me till thursday each week to get any where near normal she is constantly throwing everythink at anyone in site hitting scratching my dd came out of nursery today gave her a kiss and now has a huge scratch on her cheek. when i go toddler group she constantly hits last week picked a brick up and hit a lo across the face. ive spoke to my d.w no help spoke to parents mums great dad thinks its funny ive just been on a behaviour course got some fab advice ie say no no eye contact etc ands lots of praise when good which ive been doing but she seems to be getting worse my other 2 minded children tell there mums daily what shes done to them i feel like giving up she can be so lovely shes happy but very agresive throwing herself on floor for no reason i wish i could have a day without all this. im going away next week and cant wait but then will dread when shes back i have her 5 days aweek so we dpont get a breakl apart from nap time now, sorry its long any advice please

[FussyElmo]

If she is affecting you, your family and your mindees then I would give notice.

Sometimes its the only way forward especially if BOTH parents are not working with you. Dont see much that Dad can be finding funny. Positve behaviour will only work if everyone is doing it.

I made a promise a few years back if I came to dread a child and their family knocking on the door then I will give notice. A unhappy house is no good for anyone.

Sending hugs x

[Dodo]

I have a similar problem with my 15 mth mindee. It sounds as if my situation is not as bad as yours but I'm starting to find it's really getting to me and not sure how many more weeks I can last! My mindee seems so angry sometimes and very aggressive. She's so strong-willed and if things don't go her way she throws herself to the floor or throws the toys about. She hits out at me sometimes for no reason (other than frustration) and also lashes out at my children and the other mindees when they give her cuddles or get too close. I have started feeling on edge when other kids start to play with her and have to warn them that she needs space around her otherwise they may get hit in the face. My son was hit by a toy she threw across the room a few weeks back and I had a proper chat with the parents. They are the most lovely parents to work with and very supportive of me. we agreed a plan of action ie. moving mindee away from others and ignoring her when behaviour is bad, lots of attention to other kids to show her that she will not get rewarded for being nasty. Lots of praise and positive attention when she is behaving well or being affectionate. The last few days though I have found that I am finding looking after her really iunenjoyable and stressful as I feel I have to always be on watch. My daughter is the same age and has started becoming a bit agressive too, which really worries me as I don't want her picking up the bad habits. I'm worried on the effect of me minding this girl as whenever my daughter starts playing with something, the mindee rushes over and pushes her to one side so she can have the toy. Today the mindee bit my daughter :(. Thing is the hours work really well for me and this little girl CAN have her sweet moments. I feel I should give her a chance. Also her parents are great so don't want to let them down. Keep thinking that as the weeks go by things will improve...
Any advice please???

Sorry this was such a long rant - been meaning to get this off my chest for ages!

[JCrakers]

I feel if another child started to impact on my own children I would give notice. And if parents think its funny its not going to get any better.

I would have a serious last word with parents and explain that the behaviour is not acceptable. You need to work together to nip this behaviour in the bud, If they dont improve I would prob give notice.

I have a screaming 8m old who is very strong willed and I am guessing shes going to be a handful as she gets older (or she could be an :littleangel: ) who knows :D

Becky xx

[sandy64]

thanks for your replys im going to see how things are after my holiday then sit parents down if it helps fine if not i dont really have a choice as ive 2 other mindees to think of and my own 2 dd. shame as shes lovely when she wants to be but then changes without notice:)

[gigglinggoblin]

When my kids have been at their dads for a while they come home with the most awful attitudes, it takes me a couple of days to sort them out sometimes. I have been doing this for years and can tell you it doesnt get better. (Just to mention they do know our house rules and arent a danger as they are older so understand a bit more, its more their language and general attitude)

You need to think are you willing to carry on with her with her behaviour the way it is? As she gets older and bigger it will be more of a strain on you and more of a danger to other little ones. I am not in a situation where I can do anything about it but in your case I woud consider giving notice. It is a shame as its not the childs fault but I dont think we can put the parents in time out to think about their behaviour.