Naughty Boys

[BlondeMoment]

I look after two little lads most of the week: 4 and 2 yrs. They're a little rebelious but I have them under control and they're pretty good for me.

As soon as their parents arrive they're like different children. They beat the living daylights out of each other and one of them even hit me last week. They're parents don't do a thing. They just sigh and make jokes like "oh the joys...". I just don't know how to react anymore! I've always thought that once the parents are back, they're in charge again. I can hardly put them on the naughty step when the parentd want to get them home. What can I do or say?

[devoncm]

They are still in your home so they still abide by your rules,

[BlondeMoment]

But how can you disciplin them when their parents are right there waiting to take them home. It should be down to them but they do nothing. It's ridiculous

[ClaireCM]

I would love to know anyone elses suggestions on this too. I mind two boys, one 3 and one 2 years old. They are almost the same except instead of attacking each other, they seem to go loopy and run round the house, throwing toys, screaming and jumping on the sofa. Things which, if im honest, they wouldnt dare do when it's just me and them during the day.
I have run out of things to do and last week I was holding one of the boys back from leaping up and down on the sofa in his shoes whilst he was screaming and fighting me and his mother looked on almost whispering 'No, no darling, don't do that' !!!!!! It is awkward to know how to deal with things like this in front of the parents, ESPECIALLY when they are doing nothing themselves!!

[Pipsqueak]

But how can you disciplin them when their parents are right there waiting to take them home. It should be down to them but they do nothing. It's ridiculous

I have been in this situation with children and have learned over the years - this is my house and my rules still apply. If anything was to happen it would be my insurance, it will be me Ofsted will be visiting.

If the parents aren't going to take control of the situation (perhaps they are just waiting for YOU to take control anyway- they may feel uncomfortable being in your home and disciplining the children).

So firm voice a big strong No Boys we don't behave like that do we. Stand and hold mum and dads hands please.
Don't be scared to invoke discipline - whether its right tomorrow you cannot get your favourite toys out etc. That said, make sure you praise them, - thats great waiting X, you can have a sticker for that.
Lead by example.

If you are having issues, talk to the parents, just discuss with them the 'hand over' - who will take responsibility and if its them please can they ensure that your rules are observed whilst in your house. blah blah.

Kids sense those moments of 'weakness' two sets of authorative adults - both sets are a little unsure of the situation, neither set want to take control..... they move in for the kill.

[georgie456]

But how can you disciplin them when their parents are right there waiting to take them home. It should be down to them but they do nothing. It's ridiculous

I make this very clear to parents when they join that while their child is on my property I am boss!!!! Children always play up at collection - they are testing boundaries to see who is going to discipline them!

One of my mindees once kicked his mum as they were walking away up the drive. I called her back and sat him in time out while she waited outside! He never did it again.

I have to say, I have no problem disciplining children I mind in front of their parents. The first time is always a bit nervewracking but for me, the parents have always backed me up and let me get on with it.

One once admitted to me that she was grateful she didn't have to deal with it and embarrass herself in front of me!!!!!

[ziggy]

I have 4 boys some days and they all misbehave as soon as their mummies arrive. Luckily the mummies arrive on time each evening so we have coats and shoes on ready and bags packed, so it's straight into the car. I'm not afraid to discipline them though, if needed, in front of Mummy.

I did have a sticker chart for one family and if they were sensible at home time they were given a sticker the next day.

It probably is the hardest part of the day though!

[BlondeMoment]

I agree! It's hell. I dread pick up times.
I'm definately going to step up in future. You're all right. My house, my rules. It's just running that risk of the parent not backing you up thats nerve wracking I think.

[georgie456]

Honestly, you will be surprised! They have always backed me up!! As someone else said, they are usually secretly praying you will do it to save them having to. :laughing:

[Ripeberry]

As long as they are in my house then I'm still the boss :D I find that if you take control it makes the parent help you out, even if it just means getting the kids shoes on whilst you hold them.

[miffy]

I agree! It's hell. I dread pick up times.
I'm definately going to step up in future. You're all right. My house, my rules. It's just running that risk of the parent not backing you up thats nerve wracking I think.

I think the parents will back you up but even if they don't you need to take control, atm these children are taking advantage of the fact that no-one is in charge!

Miffy xx

[georgie456]

When one of my mindees who left when he started reception this Sept, is naughty, he gets threatened with me!!!!!!
Apparantly I was the only one who could 'sort him out' and he was so well behaved with me, so mum says "if you don't behave I'll take you to Georgie who will deal with you! "
I'm still not sure how I feel being used as a threat but hey whatever works!!!! :laughing:

[BlondeMoment]

When one of my mindees who left when he started reception this Sept, is naughty, he gets threatened with me!!!!!!
Apparantly I was the only one who could 'sort him out' and he was so well behaved with me, so mum says "if you don't behave I'll take you to Georgie who will deal with you! "
I'm still not sure how I feel being used as a threat but hey whatever works!!!! :laughing:

Ha ha ha I love it!
Why can't parents deal with their own kids anymore? I've got one that I actually have to strap into a buggy 2 mins before her Mum turns up cos she can't get her in it to go home!

[The Juggler]

But how can you disciplin them when their parents are right there waiting to take them home. It should be down to them but they do nothing. It's ridiculous

I would say very loudly 'please don't hit me, your brother, your mum in my house'. 'we shouldn't hit anyone, anywhere should we'. I think I would also have a quiet word out of earshot with the parents and say the behaviour is getting out of hand at pick up, please can you speak to them at home about it.

Maybe worth suggesting to parents that they text when outside and you can get the boys ready so when the doorbell rings, you can just open it and they can go.

[Helcatt]

I had a simliar situation at drop-off last week, mum kept saying "oh darling, don't do that" with no conviction behind it so in the end, after I spoke to him and he ignored me, I put him in the time out zone - didn't take him long to come back in and apologise


HX

[georgie456]

Ha ha ha I love it!
Why can't parents deal with their own kids anymore? I've got one that I actually have to strap into a buggy 2 mins before her Mum turns up cos she can't get her in it to go home!

It never fails to amaze me how they can turn into completely different children the second a parent arrives!!!!

[Pipsqueak]

Well - just to join in - P my 'challenging' 3yr old mindee - tonight decides to run amok whilst Dad very ineffectively stands there smiling. She then runs through to the sitting room, where Iz is lounging on the beanbags watching tv and she literally knee drops onto Iz's tummy.

Dad just stood and laughed whilst Iz was doubled up in tears.
I just glared at Dad, sorted Iz out (who was more winded and surprised than hurt) and then I dived into P as Dad was trying to hassle her and her brother out the door. Telling her in no uncertain terms that was not nice and the consequence will be no play on Wednesday when she comes next.
She has really tested the boundaries tonight - yet again - grabbing hold of the scissors and wafting them around after i told the whole group not to touch my scissors. she ended up in time out for nearly 20 minutes because she thought she knew better than me. This is in amongst a whole host of other things......
On the plus side her (poopy) brother has been almost angelic tonight apart from telling tales and giving a running commentary about what people are doing - when i am sat there with them!

[francinejayne]

I had this problem too with a little boy that had challenging behaviour anyway, but when mum or dad turned up it got worse. Anyway, his behaviour with me now is generally much better (discipline and boundaries at my house that he was severely lacking - but that's another story!) but at pick up time it was still bad. So last week i told mum and dad that from now on I am in charge!

I don't actually open the door to them until he has his coat and shoes on!!! And it's going great, I recommend trying that approach!

[Ali56]

I look after two little lads most of the week: 4 and 2 yrs. They're a little rebelious but I have them under control and they're pretty good for me.

As soon as their parents arrive they're like different children. They beat the living daylights out of each other and one of them even hit me last week. They're parents don't do a thing. They just sigh and make jokes like "oh the joys...". I just don't know how to react anymore! I've always thought that once the parents are back, they're in charge again. I can hardly put them on the naughty step when the parentd want to get them home. What can I do or say?

I have exactly the same trouble, 2 little boys now 6 and nearly 4, I've looked after them since babies. I have now given up expecting mum to discipline them, so I do it myself still-in the nicest possible way. VERY frustrating, but its my home after all-and my house rules. I won't be so flexible and let them trash my house etc just because mum can't tell them off!:D

[BlondeMoment]

I did it!!!!! :clapping:

The eldest decided to start jumping on my sofa with his shoes on and he got a telling!!! It's my property and they're still in my house so I've taken charge!!!!

I've started telling the boys off at home time (if I need to) just as much as I do when their parents aren't there and it works!!!!! The parents do (very feebley) back me up and the boys have calmed down alot at collection time altogether!

They don't start being brats now untill they're heading up the street LOL! (and thats definately not my problem!) ;)

[sarah707]

That is brilliant! Well done you :D

[Pipsqueak]

I did it!!!!! :clapping:

The eldest decided to start jumping on my sofa with his shoes on and he got a telling!!! It's my property and they're still in my house so I've taken charge!!!!

I've started telling the boys off at home time (if I need to) just as much as I do when their parents aren't there and it works!!!!! The parents do (very feebley) back me up and the boys have calmed down alot at collection time altogether!

They don't start being brats now untill they're heading up the street LOL! (and thats definately not my problem!) ;)

feels GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD doesn't it

[IndigoMoon]

Well done you! :clapping:

Believe me that feeble backing up you got is far better than the cuddles one of my parents gave her child every time I told her off in front of her! :rolleyes:

[karensmart4]

I look after two little lads most of the week: 4 and 2 yrs. They're a little rebelious but I have them under control and they're pretty good for me.

As soon as their parents arrive they're like different children. They beat the living daylights out of each other and one of them even hit me last week. They're parents don't do a thing. They just sigh and make jokes like "oh the joys...". I just don't know how to react anymore! I've always thought that once the parents are back, they're in charge again. I can hardly put them on the naughty step when the parentd want to get them home. What can I do or say?

Just a question :) Do you actually have a naughty step? I've nothing against having one, I think children need to come away from certain situations and know that they have done something wrong.

[georgie456]

Well done!!!!!!!!!!

[babs]

i discuss with parents as to who is in charge when it comes to collections and they all agreed its me so until they are out of my front gate i tell them off if they are naughty its always worked they do try it on sometimes but parents just say go to barbara shes in charge... glad its working for you.

[BlondeMoment]

Well done you! :clapping:

Believe me that feeble backing up you got is far better than the cuddles one of my parents gave her child every time I told her off in front of her! :rolleyes:

Oh My God I think I'd cry! :eek:

[BlondeMoment]

Just a question :) Do you actually have a naughty step? I've nothing against having one, I think children need to come away from certain situations and know that they have done something wrong.

Well it's not a naughty step exactly. I don't call it that. It's just a good place they can sit to have time out and it happens to be a step becuase there really isn't anywhere else in my tiny house