PDA

View Full Version : Writing a potty training policy/ info sheet



snufflepuff
14-10-2010, 08:25 AM
Having seen the trouble some of us poor CMs have with potty training, I thought I should write a policy or an info sheet for parents to read and sign, being as my mindees will be coming to that stage soon and I just know I will have trouble!
My son is 20 months and mindees are 16 and 21 months. (The older mindees Mum has been talking about starting potty training since she was about 13 months, before she could walk or even crawl, and I have managed to stall her.)

I know I need to make it clear from the start what I will and will not put up with, while I understand that accidents happen, I'm not willing to have my carpets (in my rented house!) stinking of pee and poo!

Any advice on what to put in it? Is it reasonable to ask that they make sure they have a few dry days at home before we go nappy-free here? And can I say that after a certain amount of accidents I will put them back in to a nappy or pull up?

I'm dreading all this, when I worked in a nursery some of the parents were awful when their child had accidents, they would blame the staff. Others bought their child in last nights nappy, changed them in to pants for their day with us, then put a nappy on when they picked up!

curlycathy
14-10-2010, 04:02 PM
My policy is two accidents and they are in a pull-up or nappy. I point out that there are health and safety considerations as not only would I be cleaning up and trying to keep other mindees out of the way, but also then my attention is diverted from the others as well. I do say that I want parents to start the potty training - I will support it but only once it is established as I'm afraid I just don't have the time or resources to be starting from scratch. I reserve the right to use pull-ups or nappies in the buggy which is in constant and daily use. I also use those bedmat things a lot.

I've got one 2 year old who mum has been trying to potty train since beginning of summer holidays - she's a teacher but he still comes to me in the holidays. She wanted him potty trained before they went away on holiday - actually told him he couldnt have an ice cream if he wasnt:eek: I fully expected her to stay at home with him for a week or so to get it really established - she didnt and carried on sending him to me and his grandparents. Needless to say he wasnt trained in time for their holiday! He's doing well but he's nowhere near potty trained imo.

If I can figure out how to do it I will pm you my policy - but I'm not technical so might be a while :laughing:

gigglinggoblin
14-10-2010, 04:43 PM
Have attached (I hope) my new potty training policy which is a lot more detailed than my last one! Would be interested in opinions. Part of it is from the Bromley policy, the rest is what recent experience has taught me I need to include.

gigglinggoblin
14-10-2010, 04:45 PM
I would be interested in seeing yours too cc, to attach it click on the paperclip icon above the box you type your reply in and the top box in the pop up window it brings up gives you the option to browse computer files and upload (i can say that now I have managed to do mine!)

snufflepuff
14-10-2010, 05:03 PM
Oh thank you that's very good!

Zoomie
14-10-2010, 08:26 PM
http://babyparenting.about.com/cs/pottytraining/f/readiness.htm

this is a list of readiness signs, i plan to add something on the lines of it to my policy (when i do it in the year 2020) making much emphasis of the fact that the more signs children are showing the more successful training is likely to be, and will not be putting anything about 'age'.

Good luck

Noomie
14-10-2010, 08:56 PM
A great idea to have a policy. Definitely second the idea of promoting the readiness signs (perhaps include a checklist that is completed by you and the parent) rather than age.

Just a slightly different angle to think about it from... Isn't it our responsibility to potty train? I mean, if a parent only gets a few precious weeks a year holiday (4 or 5) and they pay us to look after their child full time from say 8ish til 6ish, they are with us when the training needs to happen. Couldn't we adjust our plans for a few weeks to stay in a bit more? Of course there are school runs to be done and I would use precautions for my equipment in these times (either protectors or nappies / pull ups) but isn't it about the child's needs at the time? Mind you, I'm talking about children who are ready for training, not premature training. I haven't crossed this bridge yet either - I have only touched on training my daughter and any other children I look after are trained already so maybe I will feel different in the future. I just have been thinking about why it should be a problem, ifyswim?

How long does it take to clean up really?
Yes attention is taken away from other children, but what about giving the time to the child who is becoming more independent by potty training? They have needs too.
Do we shy away from it because it's less pleasant than developing other areas such as knowing colours or counting?

Just a thought...

gigglinggoblin
14-10-2010, 09:13 PM
A great idea to have a policy. Definitely second the idea of promoting the readiness signs (perhaps include a checklist that is completed by you and the parent) rather than age.

Just a slightly different angle to think about it from... Isn't it our responsibility to potty train? I mean, if a parent only gets a few precious weeks a year holiday (4 or 5) and they pay us to look after their child full time from say 8ish til 6ish, they are with us when the training needs to happen. Couldn't we adjust our plans for a few weeks to stay in a bit more? Of course there are school runs to be done and I would use precautions for my equipment in these times (either protectors or nappies / pull ups) but isn't it about the child's needs at the time? Mind you, I'm talking about children who are ready for training, not premature training. I haven't crossed this bridge yet either - I have only touched on training my daughter and any other children I look after are trained already so maybe I will feel different in the future. I just have been thinking about why it should be a problem, ifyswim?

How long does it take to clean up really?
Yes attention is taken away from other children, but what about giving the time to the child who is becoming more independent by potty training? They have needs too.
Do we shy away from it because it's less pleasant than developing other areas such as knowing colours or counting?

Just a thought...

If you are happy to do this then thats fine, it up to you how you run your business. Its up to me how I run mine and while I am happy to support parents I am not happy to do it all. The kids I look after come for between 5 hours a week and 2.5 days. Most of their time is at home. It is entirely possible to train a child over a weekend if they are ready. My eldest trained in less than 5 minutes, I explained it to him and he never had an accident. But some parents want to train their children over a matter of months. So cant go to toddlers without dragging all the children in and out of the toilet several times, cant do any activity that requires constant supervision, cant leave the children alone for a second incase there is an accident - for months potentially. Depending on the layout of your house this could mean spending a lot of time away from the other children and what do you expect them to be doing during this time? What if you dont see the child have an accident and another child gets their hands in it or gets it in their mouths? I am not shying away from potty training but I am also not the parent and I am not going to accept the role of main carer, thats the parents job and as a parent I wouldnt be very happy for someone to try and take that role away from me. When looking after 3 under 5s the level of care you can give is different to the level of care you can give one on one. What would you do if the child was constantly having accidents and the parent insisted you never used a nappy? This was the problem I had recently, while I dont mind the odd accident I do mind if it happens a lot and the parent will not agree to me using precautions against damaging my equipment

Noomie
14-10-2010, 09:25 PM
Hmmm...

*I was simply pondering the question (thinking about what I might do) not telling anyone how they should run their business. I haven't even decided how I would run mine in this instance, even.
*I was talking about full time placements (8ish til 6ish, 5 days a week), not part time.
*I wouldn't be prepared to have a drawn out, protracted period of potty training, just a couple of weeks where I could / would alter my routine / plans. I feel if it's in the best interests of the child, then that's what our jobs are. I would want the child to be ready.

Please don't misread my post. I was just thinking of a different angle to know that all views were represented in a policy and giving food for thought.

snufflepuff
14-10-2010, 09:26 PM
Just a slightly different angle to think about it from... Isn't it our responsibility to potty train? I mean, if a parent only gets a few precious weeks a year holiday (4 or 5) and they pay us to look after their child full time from say 8ish til 6ish, they are with us when the training needs to happen. Couldn't we adjust our plans for a few weeks to stay in a bit more? Of course there are school runs to be done and I would use precautions for my equipment in these times (either protectors or nappies / pull ups) but isn't it about the child's needs at the time? Mind you, I'm talking about children who are ready for training, not premature training. I haven't crossed this bridge yet either - I have only touched on training my daughter and any other children I look after are trained already so maybe I will feel different in the future. I just have been thinking about why it should be a problem, ifyswim?

How long does it take to clean up really?
Yes attention is taken away from other children, but what about giving the time to the child who is becoming more independent by potty training? They have needs too.
Do we shy away from it because it's less pleasant than developing other areas such as knowing colours or counting?



I don't mean to sound like I don't want anything to do with potty training, that's certainly not the case. I see my role in it is to assist and support what the parents are doing, not to do the training myself. But I don't have any full timers- I think that would be a slightly different kettle of fish to my part timers.

The thing I am most worried about is parents wanting to start before their child is ready. Many parents seem to think there is a set age that they must be trained and don't even think about how the child will cope. If their LOs friends are starting to be potty trained they are eager to get started themselves.

I just want to make things clear to the parents, to avoid the risk of a LO turning up one day in knickers and with only one change of clothes even though they have only been dry for one day at home, lol!

gigglinggoblin
14-10-2010, 09:35 PM
I wasnt misreading your post, i was just stating the obvious ;)

If you are prepared to do it for full time children there is a good chance you will be in trouble with part time parents if you refuse them. I dont think anyone would refuse to help potty train a child who is ready for a short period of time whether they were full or part time, but recently several of us have had issues with parents who want their child potty training before we believe they are ready. The child I had a problem with has been with me for 4 weeks and has been training for about 10 weeks in total. You need to think about what you would do if a full time parent told a part time parent you were potty training their child, the part timer has every right to expect the same. What would you do if the couple of weeks dragged out into a couple of months? The problem I had was that my policy wasnt specific enough, if someone can pick a hole in it you have a problem!

For the record I have had one mindee who trained while he was here (tho parents did most of the work over the weekend) and I have one who isnt ready but we are training slowly so he knows what the potty is for, this works fine because the parents arent asking me to keep the nappy off the whole time.

nokidshere
14-10-2010, 10:15 PM
???????????????????????????????????????????????

We are childminders.

Children and babies wee and poo and have accidents.

that is what they do. that is what they have always done.


it seems to me that there an awful lot of people on this forum who are in the wrong job!

michellethegooner
15-10-2010, 12:18 AM
I won't potty train if the child isn't ready, and I work in partnership with the parents I dont do all the hard work.

I once had a parent who wanted me to potty train her 1 1/2 yr old :eek: who defo wasnt ready, she was in nappies ALL the time at home, mum said "oh I haven't time to clean up all the accidents" :eek: I simply said that she would have to start the process off then I would SUPPORT her here but only if she was ready,

I currently have a 2 1/2 yr old who is showing all the signs will occasionally use the potty but only for me wont use it at all at home, mum agrees that we should wait till she is ready to do it at home as well, but if she WANTS to use potty/toilet here then obvs she will

I dont think I am in the wrong job because I wont start off the initial training, what is the point starting it here only for them to go home and regress??

And I certainly dont want wee/poo all over my home where other children can easily step/touch/eat it :eek:

snufflepuff
15-10-2010, 07:49 AM
???????????????????????????????????????????????

We are childminders.

Children and babies wee and poo and have accidents.

that is what they do. that is what they have always done.


it seems to me that there an awful lot of people on this forum who are in the wrong job!

So you are happy for your home to smell of wee and carpets to be covered in stains because there has been so much wee and poo on them, are you? Maybe you can afford to replace your carpets regularly but I certainly can't.
Yes, I know it is all part of the process but when it gets to the point where it is becoming a health hazard something has to be done!
Nobody is saying that they will not have a potty training child in their setting, only that they don't wish to try to potty train a child before they are ready. Surely that is the most child-friendly thing to do? As opposed to trying to early and having the poor child go through the embarrassment and discomfort of having accident after accident? Shouldn't we be putting the needs of the child before the needs of the parent? Not to mention the needs of the other children in the setting.

nokidshere
15-10-2010, 08:29 AM
So you are happy for your home to smell of wee and carpets to be covered in stains because there has been so much wee and poo on them, are you? Maybe you can afford to replace your carpets regularly but I certainly can't.
Yes, I know it is all part of the process but when it gets to the point where it is becoming a health hazard something has to be done!
Nobody is saying that they will not have a potty training child in their setting, only that they don't wish to try to potty train a child before they are ready. Surely that is the most child-friendly thing to do? As opposed to trying to early and having the poor child go through the embarrassment and discomfort of having accident after accident? Shouldn't we be putting the needs of the child before the needs of the parent? Not to mention the needs of the other children in the setting.

Sorry - I did rather go off on one then didn't I :blush:

CHUNKY MONKEY
15-10-2010, 08:31 AM
My DD who is 20 months is showing all the signs, if she does a tiny wee she insists on taking her own nappy off and going to get the potty which she only sits on for 0.2 seconds!!!:laughing: She loves not having a nappy on and if I'm honest I don't allow her as much time as I should with no nappy on :blush: I have decided that come Novemeber on a Thu, Fri, Sat and Sun she will have alot more nappy off time. I am doing this very naturally and we have had 3 accidents where shes taken her nappy off sat on the potty for a split second and stood up and weed on the floor :blush: She gets everything else just not the important bit about wee wees going in the potty :laughing:

I don't think it is unreasonable to ask parents to start the process, tell them their child is not ready yet or say that after two accidents a nappy goes back on. :D

MAWI
15-10-2010, 08:51 AM
This is always a contentious one, because everyone has a different point of view on it.
After some knightmare attempts,My personal way of dealing with it is:
Work in conjunction with parents to decide when a 'right time' may be, with any or all of the signs. Sometimes parents quite often think they are ready and they are clearly not.
I encourage parents do START the potty training (when child is ready) and at a time when they are at home, so they are comfortable, no school run to consider, or other distractions that may be occuring in my house. This time I encourage either when I am on holiday, they are on holiday or over a long weekend. I will always support any ongoing training and am prepared for accidents of course, however what I am not prepared to do is have a child constantly wee/poo all over the place. I think that in itself is a health and safety issue.
I have experienced it several times, where parents want them potty trained even though they are not ready. This is why I now tell parents to do it at home and Im happy to continue supporting them.
I also consider all the other children I have attending and dont thinkits fair if all Im doing is cleaning up/changing child.
On example was: LO did nothing all day apart from wee/poo all the time and when a different LO's (aged 4) Mum turned up, when asked how his day was he replied ' done nothing, X has been pooing all day'. That was it for me.

cas2805
15-10-2010, 09:39 AM
Thanks for the posts and links. I hadn't even thought of a policy for potty training so will get on an write one!

Have got mindees 13 mths, 15 mths, 17 mths and DS 16 mths so think my home will smell lovely when they all start esp as they are all boys! So glad we have laminate flooring :)

Good luck all

gigglinggoblin
15-10-2010, 11:19 AM
???????????????????????????????????????????????

We are childminders.

Children and babies wee and poo and have accidents.

that is what they do. that is what they have always done.


it seems to me that there an awful lot of people on this forum who are in the wrong job!

I am not trying to be difficult but maybe you can tell me why I am wrong, these are the questions I cant answer to my satisfaction and this is why I have the policy I do. Very interested to hear opinions from anyone whether or not you think I am wrong!

if you are happy to take a child who has several accidents a day, never wears a nappy and you also have 2 other under 5s what do you do -

You go out for the morning and child wees in the pram. Do you clean it or do you leave the child to sit in it? Is it enough to put a carrier bag on it (if you have one), what about later in the day, if you havent had children having a nap do you use it again with the wee on it?

Child has an accident when you are away for a second and another child gets their hands in it, it goes in their hair, mouth etc. What do you say to their parents?

What are the other children doing while you are spending 10 minutes every hour in the bathroom with the potty training child while you read to them?

How do you not make the child feel bad about the fact they have had several accidents?

Do you think it is fair to go to toddler group with a child knowing they are likely to have an accident there and realistically someone else is going to have to clean it up

Where are the children while you are getting the cleaning stuff to clear away the accident? What do you do if the child has another accident in a different place while you are cleaning the first?

What do you do about adult led activites where you cant leave the children for long enough to clear up an accident? Do you just not bother?

How long are you willing to stay in the house, not do activities (or whatever else you do to cope with frequent accidents) etc for a child who isnt ready. How would you explain the lack of attention the other children get to their parents.

The occasional accident I expect and have no problem with but I am not childminding because I want to spend my life cleaning my carpet. Am genuinely interested in the answers because thats why I wont allow a child to have no nappy if they cant control their bodily functions and if there is a way around it I would consider changing my policy.

Ripeberry
15-10-2010, 11:30 AM
My mindee is coming up to 26months old and he uses a potty at home and goes around the house with nothing on his bottom. Well that may be OK in mindee's house but not in mine when I've got others here.

She has given me some fleece pull-up pants to use at my house but problem is, we are out of the house a lot so not really practical at the moment.

Maybe after the Xmas holidays we'll see what he is like, but he does like pulling his trousers down anywhere and at anytime without saying anything, so for now his mum is putting 'tight' trousers on him.

Noomie
15-10-2010, 01:18 PM
I am not trying to be difficult but maybe you can tell me why I am wrong, these are the questions I cant answer to my satisfaction and this is why I have the policy I do. Very interested to hear opinions from anyone whether or not you think I am wrong!

if you are happy to take a child who has several accidents a day, never wears a nappy and you also have 2 other under 5s what do you do -

You go out for the morning and child wees in the pram. Do you clean it or do you leave the child to sit in it? Is it enough to put a carrier bag on it (if you have one), what about later in the day, if you havent had children having a nap do you use it again with the wee on it?

Child has an accident when you are away for a second and another child gets their hands in it, it goes in their hair, mouth etc. What do you say to their parents?

What are the other children doing while you are spending 10 minutes every hour in the bathroom with the potty training child while you read to them?

How do you not make the child feel bad about the fact they have had several accidents?

Do you think it is fair to go to toddler group with a child knowing they are likely to have an accident there and realistically someone else is going to have to clean it up

Where are the children while you are getting the cleaning stuff to clear away the accident? What do you do if the child has another accident in a different place while you are cleaning the first?

What do you do about adult led activites where you cant leave the children for long enough to clear up an accident? Do you just not bother?

How long are you willing to stay in the house, not do activities (or whatever else you do to cope with frequent accidents) etc for a child who isnt ready. How would you explain the lack of attention the other children get to their parents.

The occasional accident I expect and have no problem with but I am not childminding because I want to spend my life cleaning my carpet. Am genuinely interested in the answers because thats why I wont allow a child to have no nappy if they cant control their bodily functions and if there is a way around it I would consider changing my policy.

Q1: I would put a protector on first that can be put in a carrier bag if an accident occurs. I would limit the outings for the short time (as I will only do potty training if a child is ready - so it should be a relatively quick process). Or I would use a pull up while out. No reason not to.

Q2: This could happen at any time - my friends boy took his pooey nappy off the other day while she was busy and she had to clean it up. It was a split second type moment and he isn't training yet. Obviously more likely when potty training. Again, I would only train children who are ready so less likelihood of this happening.

Q3: I don't think that I would do 10 minutes every hour in the bathroom. Shouldn't potty ready children be dry for a couple of hours and have a regular motion at around the same time of day? I would only do the 10 min thing if a child wasn't ready and therefore wouldn't be training. Plus it's hard to get a child to sit on a potty that long anyway!

Q4: Are they ready if they have several accidents?

Q5: I would limit what I did for a couple of weeks. I would also use pull ups at these times. That's what they're there for.

Q6: Be organised, keep cleaning stuff in an accessible basket (but in a safe spot) ready to be carted to the place of accident. I had a 7 year old boy have an accident yest. It can happen any time. If it's happening too regularly with a toddler, than I seriously would reconsider the timing of training.

Q7: A couple of weeks. I would still do things, I would just think outside the box about how to best manage it. The option may be that I'd use pull ups. I would think about the adult led activities.

This is all based on a child who is ready though. I think it would be a great injustice to everyone (cm, parents, other chn) if a child wasn't ready and the process took months on end.

singingcactus
15-10-2010, 01:39 PM
Just a slightly different angle to think about it from... Isn't it our responsibility to potty train? I mean, if a parent only gets a few precious weeks a year holiday (4 or 5) and they pay us to look after their child full time from say 8ish til 6ish, they are with us when the training needs to happen. Couldn't we adjust our plans for a few weeks to stay in a bit more? Of course there are school runs to be done and I would use precautions for my equipment in these times (either protectors or nappies / pull ups) but isn't it about the child's needs at the time? Mind you, I'm talking about children who are ready for training, not premature training. I haven't crossed this bridge yet either - I have only touched on training my daughter and any other children I look after are trained already so maybe I will feel different in the future. I just have been thinking about why it should be a problem, ifyswim?

How long does it take to clean up really?
Yes attention is taken away from other children, but what about giving the time to the child who is becoming more independent by potty training? They have needs too.
Do we shy away from it because it's less pleasant than developing other areas such as knowing colours or counting?

Just a thought...

I was just about to say the same thing, I guess I don't need to now. I've been doing this potty training on children not my own, as well as my own children for over 20 years now and I've not come across any child who could not, with effort on my part too, learn to use the potty within 2 weeks - except for one child who was non verbal/severely autistic.

It takes effort and planning on the person who is training the child to use the potty. It takes a little bit of time, a little bit of discussion, a hell of a lot of drinks, and for some kids a little reward like a sticker. But for those kids who are in full time daycare, their parents cannot possibly do everything on their own in the 1 or 2 hours they have each evening with their child.

But, everyone does things their own way and if you are more comfortable having a policy in place that forewarns parents of how and when you will support them in training their child then you should do that. It will give you all the chance to discuss it with each other as well, which will benefit you all.

Katiekoo
29-10-2010, 12:13 PM
ok -it's clearly a very personal choice, and creating some good discussion. Since this is something that has consequences for your home, H&S, activities and for the childs development the individual Childminder must do what they feel will suit their setting and the children they care for. It is ok to agree to disagree. We all have our own way of doing things and what suits one might be a big problem to someone else.
:p

Mouse
29-10-2010, 02:01 PM
I had a mindee once who was ready for potty training. I asked mum how she was handling it at home. She said" Oh, I just leave the potty out & let him run round with no nappy on". I said "aren't you worried about the mess on the floor?". She said "no, the dog's doing it all the time anyway, so a child doing it as well doesn't make much difference". I was never quite sure how serious she was :eek: :eek: :eek:

Luckily she was a wonderful mum, very laid back & told me to just do it how I wanted to & to let her know what I wanted her to do at home. I have to say, the lo was fully toilet trained very quickly...not sure about the dog though :laughing: :laughing: