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jake
08-10-2010, 05:21 PM
Dont know if this is the right area to ask this,but i started minding a friends 2 and half year old,and her 4 year old only occasional.I have the youngest from 8am till 4.30pm.Iv gone through 4 contracts with her as she kept changing her requirements,iv let her have a reduction in charges(because shes a friend)but i keep getting the impression that shes not happy about something,when i ask she says "no im just in a bad mood" or today it was "Well id been to the pub on way to yours so i wasnt in the mood".Im expecting my pre-inspection next week,so iv asked parents to answer some questions on a form iv put together,as a way of working in partnership with parents.The form is just a way to find out if they and their children are happy with my service so far,her answer was"do you mind if i dont put anything?" i was so shocked that iv rang her to see if everythings ok and thats when she told me about the pub thing.She is a bit funny with me almost every day she comes to pick him up!I feel like telling her that i dont think its working and to find another childminder,but i will carry on until she does.I thought it was supposed to be a pleasant experience,but i dont like being made to feel like this.her little boy is a pleasure!any advise? thanks jake

jumpinjen
08-10-2010, 05:28 PM
I wouldn't say that you will carry on til she finds another minder as if she can't be bothered to even fill in a form, then she won't be bothered to find another minder.

Maybe explain that you feel that she is angry about something and would like to clear the air as you cannot work with her when she is never 'in the mood' to talk. point out that you reduced her fees for as she is your friend but feel that she isn't treating you as a friend and things need to improve between you. Write clearly what needs to improve i.e. dicuss child's progress/meet every few months, whatever. Then if she doesn't improve, give one months written notice and let her find someone else. I certainly wouldn't be treated in an offish way especially if I'd dropped my fees for a mate (supposedly)

Is she having problems at home and needs some support before you do this?

Why was she at the pub before picking up her little one.... she didn't drive to you did she??

jenni x

glitzygal
08-10-2010, 05:43 PM
Its a shame its going like this as its your friendship that might be affected.
but as the saying says with friends like that who needs enimies,
dont beat yourself up about it, you are doing a grand job, its a business so you shouldn't do your job any cheaper, i have done this and it was embarrassing as in a conversation it slipped out that I had done it cheaper for one parent, just say to your friend theres no different who you mind for, its still a space and and you dont mind any child differently.
hope this helps, she must have something on her mind, it could be a home thing or money worries. dont get uptight its nothing your doing.
keep up your good work. :)

Pipsqueak
08-10-2010, 06:28 PM
I wonder if she resents you looking after her children? I know that sounds odd but perhaps she is jealous of you being able to 'stop home'.

Nevertheless, I would be questioning the friendship - is she a friend to treat you this way. I prefer my friends to be straight with me, especially if i am minding their children - but I always ensure they understand the line of where I am being professional and the friendship. Boundaries can get very blurred sometimes.

I would formally ask her in for a meeting and ask her if she is happy with the situation. Explain that you think the working and personal boundaries are getting confused and you don't want it to affect the friendship.

Can I ask - do you think she has a 'problem' with the pub/alcohol? Sorry if that is rather random.

Perhaps I am just a harden old bag or just my feeling today - but i would be kicking this 'friend' into touch and stop allowing her to mess you around like this.

jake
09-10-2010, 10:27 PM
So much good advice,and no she doesnt drive and i dont agree with the pub thing especially during the week when shes told me shes at uni or studying!I wasnt aware that she still had a drink during the week,and never thought she would have a drink before she came to pick her kids up(im hoping that its a one of)Although she has been getting good grades so i doubt that its a problem.She is a single parent,so she has lots of running about to do getting one of her children to me and one to school,this must be hard work and maybe shes just feeling the strain.So i am going to suggest a meeting and try to get it out into the open,so we can sort it HOPEFULLY! But if things dont change then i cant go on like this.Thankyou all so much for the advice jake :eek: