omg i cant beleive what this parent has done

[TRACEY1969]

i am child minding for 4 parents so i have an assistant who is my daughter. My daughter is due to have her first baby in January so i have book individual weeks off with each parent so i am not over my limit. There is one week in Feb that i haven't got cover for the school runs so i have book this off with one of the parents. This parent has only arranged with another one of my parents to do the school run so i can still child mind for her. I have book this week off also with her because i have holiday left over and has just found out she has used all hers and i was still having her children. She has arranged picks ups from my house and drop offs, i am really mad she has done this and she has also asked another one of my parents if i have booked the same week off with them. I have told this parent not to ask any of my parents confidential information, this parent who she asked for help has informed me and i have appologised to this parents for the other parent trying to get her involved. How dare this parent organise my holidays which i am owed she can find other child care as i don't charge for my holidays but i do take the 5 weeks off her fee and spread the cost over 52 weeks so i know where i stand each week with paying my daughter and all parents agreed to this arrangment before i began. What do i say to this parent now i am so mad with her.

[LisaMcNally09]

Im sorry im abit confused?? So this parent has asked another parent to have the week off instead of her???

[Kaz1997]

Ohh this sounds a little confusing! Are two sets of parents having the same week off?

[mamasheshe]

i'm confused too and i've re read it xx

[jaja]

so if i have read this right, a parent has asked another parent to pick up and drop off this child from your house to help cover your holiday, if this is the case then you need to talk to parent doing all the organising and say that you are not prepared for people to pick up and drop off at your house when you are not working as this isnt on blame insurance if you dont want to get personal about the fact its extremely cheeky. Say to tge other mum that it isnt happening, i know that you could word that differently though, lol, am heads going to sleep

sending hugs

xxxxxx

[youarewhatyoueat]

Are you saying that you have different holidays with different parents so you don't go over numbers!!!!! sorry but thats nuts, have I mis- understood.

Get another assistant to cover your daughter, would be better for everyone.

Try writing it again with some paragraphs, its easier to read.

[Bitsy Beans]

If I read this right:
Parent A has no holiday left and despite you booking this week off due to being over your numbers has arranged for another of your parents to do the school run and drop off her child at your house so you can still mind her child. Correct? So in essence saying you can't book the week off? Are you looking after anyone elses children this week or are you not working at all?

[caz3007]

I think the OP is working with other children that week, but has booked holidays with certain children to make sure she isnt over her numbers and as she wasnt available for the school run, then she has booked holiday with that child only.

The parent has now arranged for another parent to do the school runs and for the OP to have the child the rest of the time.

If thats the case, then I would sit this parent down and explain that you are entitled to the holiday and thats what you are taking. But I can also understand the parent being a bit upset that you are working and she is having to arrange other care for her child. Could you not just take that week off totally or arrange for perhaps a friend or relative to help you out ad hoc during your Assistants maternity leave

[Chimps Childminding]

I too am a bit confused - not that it takes a lot for me!!! But it seems a bit off to expect parents to take holidays because you can't fit all the children in while your dd is on maternity leave???????? But apart from that I would be annoyed if I was trying to arrange things and one of the parents was sticking her oar in :angry:

I know you say you have 4 parents, but how many children do you have? - just wondered if you could request a variation for the few weeks you will be without an assistant ???

[Pipsqueak]

I was just going to suggest a variation request, as Carolyn says.

I think i see what you are saying and regardless of whether anyone thinks it wrong or right you have done what you think is right or workable under the circumstances. You have also booked time off as holiday and she is trying to get you to work? No, I don't think I'd be happy if a parent was trying to organise holidays - its not your fault she has used all her holidays, however I can perhaps understand her need for childcare cover.
As to asking other parents information about you - confidentiality works both ways but if she is trying to organise herself some childcare cover then she does need to ask certain questions. As for arranging pick ups and drop offs from your house - hmm tell her that your insurance will not cover this and what if that parent is late or doesn't turn up for whatever reason.

[TRACEY1969]

sorry i haven't explained very well i was abit mad and tired. I have 1 week left of my hols with one parent so i have booked 1 week off in Feb. This parent has come back to me and said she has no hols left till May (she has used them but still sent her kids to me) She has asked another parent to do the schools runs for her as i haven't got an assistant for this week only (i have covered the other weeks while my daughter is off) so therefore i am over my numbers this week only. The other parent she has asked i only work 2 days for and she is at college this parent in question i work 4 days for. I can't ask the 2 day parent for time off as i get holiday term off anyway but i still have hols with the other parent (4 days) If she had the Feb off i would be ok with my numbers. The 4 day parent has asked the 2 day parent to help me with my school run so she can work and i still have her kids. I have told her i am over my numbers that week and that i can't get cover. CRB's are taking upto 4 months and i can't take the risk of relying on it coming through before Feb. My DO told me to book time off now and tell the parents why i have individual weeks off with each parent so i have put this in writting to all parents 4 weeks ago.

[Mouse]

Are you saying this isn't happening until Feb? That would give you loads of time to apply for a variation, or apply for a CRB for another assistant.

Other than that, could you get another cm to cover you for that week & have the children? Mum wouldn't need to take time off work and you wouldn't need to go over your numbers.

I can see why mum is trying to arrange this with another parent - I'd be a bit peeved if I knew you were looking after other children, but not mine.

BUT, I'd be furious if I'd told a parents I was taking holiday & they arranged my work for me so I didn't need to :eek:

[wendywu]

[I
can see why mum is trying to arrange this with another parent - I'd be a bit peeved if I knew you were looking after other children, but not mine.

I cannot see that it makes any difference at all. Tracey has holiday due with this parent so that is the end of it.

How she arranges her own setting so that she stays within the law and for her own peace of mind is entirely up to her.

This mum can add up and must have realised that Tracey still had holiday to come. She is a mum with a grandchild on the way, so it would not take much common sense to work out that when the baby comes Tracy would use that time off.

This parent will have to make other arrangements and had no right to involve other people to get her own way.:mad:

[~Chelle~]

[I

I cannot see that it makes any difference at all. Tracey has holiday due with this parent so that is the end of it.

How she arranges her own setting so that she stays within the law and for her own peace of mind is entirely up to her.

This mum can add up and must have realised that Tracey still had holiday to come. She is a mum with a grandchild on the way, so it would not take much common sense to work out that when the baby comes Tracy would use that time off.

This parent will have to make other arrangements and had no right to involve other people to get her own way.:mad:

I totally agree :thumbsup:

I have the day off tomorrow, as I have a hospital appointment. This only affects one child who I would have had all day. The appointment is in the morning and I am using the afternoon to catch up on paperwork.

I will, however, be collecting my after school mindee and having him as usual as it is only for 2 hours.

The mum of my full time mindee understands this fully as I have only taken 8 days holiday this year, whereas she has had 4 weeks holiday from me, IYKWIM.

It is totally up to the OP how she runs her own business and it is the mums fault that she has taken all her holiday, knowing full well that the OP hasn't had her full entitlement of holiday.

If all the other parents are happy with you taking your holiday then so should she. It is now up to the parent to arrange alternative childcare for the week that you cannot cover.

Good luck, hope all goes well with your new grandchild x

[Mouse]

I'm not saying the OP is right or wrong in what she's doing. I know she can run her business as she likes, take holiday when she likes etc.

And I'm not saying mum is right, but I can see why she is annoyed. I agree that the parents should have guessed OP might want some time off when the baby is born and she has certainly given them plenty of notice.
But parents don't think of these things in the same way as cms do. All I was saying was I can understand why she was annoyed, not that she was justified in being annoyed.

[Winnie]

It all sounds very complicated (I’m just glad that I do not restrict myself when it comes to my holiday). I think I understand the problem here.
If you want to book holiday that you are entitled to under the terms of your contract then go ahead and book it, send a letter out saying you fully understand parents difficulties in covering holiday periods and explain the way you have individual arrangements with each family for holiday entitlement and generally you try to match their entitlement to yours, it is up to the parent to decide whether they send their child when they themselves are on leave however parents should take into account that may it mean they have no holiday entitlement left themselves when you are on leave, on the whole this system benefits the parents more than you, parents should also be aware that this system takes into account your Ofsted registration requirements, parents personal information including holiday periods is confidential and you can not discuss it with any other parent, as you are a registered provider your premises (including the garden) can not be used as a drop-off/collection point for any other form of childcare arrangement including reciprocal arrangements between parents because of insurance issues.

[leeloo1]

"I'd be a bit peeved if I knew you were looking after other children, but not mine."

Really? How would it be any of your business?? CM is allowed to have holidays and is allowed to do whatever she likes in them. It might be inconvenient for you but tough - esp if the poor CM isn't even being paid for the holiday!

Rest too complicated to comment on, sorry.

[Mouse]

"I'd be a bit peeved if I knew you were looking after other children, but not mine."

Really? How would it be any of your business?? CM is allowed to have holidays and is allowed to do whatever she likes in them. It might be inconvenient for you but tough - esp if the poor CM isn't even being paid for the holiday!

Rest too complicated to comment on, sorry.


I like to show a bit more repsect for my parents than telling them something is "tough". I try to think of things from their point of view.

I wonder how many parents would be up if arms in school was taking an inset day (to which they're entitled) and said some children could go in, but not others. Bet the ones who had to take time off work or find childcare wouldn't take the view "hey, it might be inconvenient, but tough, school can do what they want" :laughing:

It just shows how we can all work differently and have different ideas on things - that's what makes the world an interesting place :thumbsup:

[MissTinkerbell]

I'm not saying the OP is right or wrong in what she's doing. I know she can run her business as she likes, take holiday when she likes etc.

And I'm not saying mum is right, but I can see why she is annoyed. I agree that the parents should have guessed OP might want some time off when the baby is born and she has certainly given them plenty of notice.
But parents don't think of these things in the same way as cms do. All I was saying was I can understand why she was annoyed, not that she was justified in being annoyed.

I agree, Mouse.

I didn't really understand what the OP was trying to say but think that there is one week where she doesn't have complete cover and has told one parent that she is having a weeks holiday this particular week so that she is not above her numbers. But is still caring for the children of 3 other parents.

Like Mouse I can also understand why the said parent is annoyed - after all as far as she is concerned because other children are there she is in effect still working - she has no holidays of her own to take off to cover this time.

As its for one week surely a variation request would have been the answer? Or to put in temporary cover - after all its not until February and isn't unexpected.

From a personal point of view I don't think I could tell one parent I was having a holiday when I was still actually looking after 3 other parent's children.

[~Chelle~]

I agree, Mouse.


From a personal point of view I don't think I could tell one parent I was having a holiday when I was still actually looking after 3 other parent's children.

But in the circumstances, childminders assistant, who is also her daughter is having a baby and childminder would be over her numbers if she were to look after all of the children at once, I should think that 5 months notice of a weeks holiday is more than fair, don't you? Especially seeing as this minder has a week holiday due to her that she hasn't taken yet.

The other parents are all happy with the situation yet one parent is not and is going behind childminders back trying to organise how her business is run.

[caz3007]

I agree with Chelle under the circumstances and with the fact there is plenty of notice, surely this parent can organise something. Lots of parents expect us to be flexible if we are able, but surely this works both ways. I know it does with myself and my parents, but then I have worked hard to have a good relationship with all of mine

[Chatterbox Childcare]

Why not just recommend another childminder for the week?

[blue bear]

I have a child who 'owes' me a weeks holiday (mine runs sept-sept) and I am having the week off with her in half term, I am having other children that week. This has not been a problem for my parent, she knew I was owed a week and is quite happy.

OP's parent knows she owes a week, what was she planning on doing? pay for that week instead of childminder taking leave? That is not up to parent, OP has the right to state her hols when she wants them it does not have to be that she is not minding other children.

It seems to me parent is panicking because she had not allowed for childminders holiday.

If you are owed the week I would not allow her to rearrange your working week, especially as she did not go to you direct, Just sit down and explain this is the week you are owed and no you are not happy for other parent to act as an assistant or what ever she would be to help out. Parent has plenty of time to make alternative arrangements, when she calms down she'll figure it out after all what is she going to do if children get taken ill?

[snufflepuff]

I don't think the parent has any right to be trying to re-arrange things. I understand why you have taken holiday from one child, and as far an I understand it is no as though you are only picking on this one child, you are taking hliday from the others too, just at different times.
I was going to say it it would be worth asking for a variation but thinking about it, if it is because of the school run it may make no difference, for example if you cannot fit all the children in the car/ too far for small child to walk but no room in the buggy?? I know I can't even get a schoolie plus my 3 under 5's to school, let alone extras!

[lisal5632]

I can't believe how every one is been! :(

I can see the cm doesn't have cover for 1 wk and it makes sense that if she still has holidays to take with this parent, then why not take them after all she's goning to take them sometime before the end of tax yr! I don't think she get's paid for them anyway and so what if she is looking after other children - maybe she has taken all the holidays with them to suit herself and parents :)

Thing is this cm is asking for advice on how to tell this parent in a polite way that she cant care for her child for the 1 wk, not asking for people to advise her on how to run her business, as we know we all work differently! Plus she has given her plenty of notice :)

Maybe you have an emergancy cm in the area that could help out for that 1 wk and help the parent/ child meet the cm?

:)

[TRACEY1969]

[QUOTE=lisal5632;790116]I can't believe how every one is been! :(

I can see the cm doesn't have cover for 1 wk and it makes sense that if she still has holidays to take with this parent, then why not take them after all she's goning to take them sometime before the end of tax yr! I don't think she get's paid for them anyway and so what if she is looking after other children - maybe she has taken all the holidays with them to suit herself and parents :)

Thing is this cm is asking for advice on how to tell this parent in a polite way that she cant care for her child for the 1 wk, not asking for people to advise her on how to run her business, as we know we all work differently! Plus she has given her plenty of notice :)

Maybe you have an emergancy cm in the area that could help out for that 1 wk and help the parent/ child meet the cm?

:)[/QUOTE

My emergancy cm is due to move house Xmas and i don't know any other CM who does school runs to this school or can take my mindees on that week and doing a variation is not on my list as 4 mindees under 2 and 2 school runs. I started with this parent in May, i have taken 4 days hols so far and i requested Xmas off but was refused but did allow me Xmas Eve off so i think i have the right to take hols with this parent. She has used hers for herself and i think that is being selfish, as she has had this week off and i have her children. She told me 5 weeks ago she was owed 168hrs and must take them before May 2011, i sent letters to all parents about my daughter (my assistant) and at the end of the day i am covering myself by booking hols well in advance. Some of my parents can't have school hols off due to there work so i have different hols with each parent except my main 2 weeks in July. I was looking for advise on how to deal with this parent not to be critasized on how i run my business. I know you all have different oppions and thank you for those who gave advise. My DO said im not allowed to recommend any CM to parents as this might go against me if the parent doesn't think they are suitable.

[Pipsqueak]

My DO said im not allowed to recommend any CM to parents as this might go against me if the parent doesn't think they are suitable.[/QUOTE]


twaddle - I understand what you DO is saying - by recommending someone the parent could come back to you and shout at you but you could always additionally explain that its up to the parent to ensure the suitability of the childminder they are selecting.

Why do DO's think they can tell us what we can and can't do:panic: Honestly they get to big for their boots sometimes - its like recommending a certain milk brand to someone. At the end of the day its always their choice.

Not 'allowed' - :rolleyes: to recommend:rolleyes:

[mama2three]

I think ( hope) everyones advice was well meaning and not critical. You are absolutely right , you run your business in your own way and there is no reason why you shouldnt take holidays with various children at different times. Did you tell the mum that you needed that week as you couldnt do the school run? Sounds like she is trying to solve your problem so it doesnt become her problem! it is absolutely not her place to do this - and if anything can be learned it is not to give reasons - just notice that this is the week you are taking off. Maybe she needs reminding that you do not work for her , but she uses your service! Is this the same parent who said you couldnt have xmas off? She definately needs putting right - you are off when you choose to be off as you are self employed and not her employee!
Hope you manage to resolve this , we all live and learn!

[caz3007]

I am gobsmacked that she didnt 'allow' you to have xmas off, you take what time off you like and its up to her to make other arrangements. I looked after some LO's who went to nursery one day a week and the nursery was closed the week between xmas and new year, I had the boys as my hubby works, so didnt bother me. She wasnt able to say to nursery its not convenient and that they had to have the children.

Dont let her rule you, tell her that you still have a week to take in your contract and you have given her lots of notice and its down to her to make other arrangements that dont involve another parent doing the school run

Good luck, sounds like its going to be hard going

[Mouse]

I don't think anyone was critisising you, just giving opinions.

I have to say though, you have said you "requested" time off at christmas, but parents refused and have "allowed" you christmas eve off.
It's no wonder this parent thinks she can dictate when you will & won't work - you're the one letting her do it :panic:
The big discussion here as been that you are entitled to take your holiday when you want to, which I agree with, but then you're saying you've already let parents dictate what you can do at christmas. That isn't taking holiday when you want.

I guess mum is getting mixed messages here & thinks she can do what she wants.

Why not write a letter to all parents (so she doesn't feel it's specifically aimed at her) spelling out exactly how holiday time works:

you are self-employed and are therefore able to take holidays as & when you chose

you will give parents plenty of notice and it's up to them to make alternative arrangements.

if they would like you to provide numbers of other childminders who may be able to help you will do. (Just by handing out other numbers it doesn't mean your recommending anyone in particular, you're simply giving them details of other people).

you may try to accommodate parent's holiday preferences, but this is not always possible and you would appreciate parents respecting your decisions.


I hope you manage to get tough with this mum. Sounds as if she needs to realise that she doesn't employ you.

[Chimps Childminding]

I wasn't criticising, to be honest now I have re-read it and the other posts a couple of times I am less confused :blush: , but as mouse has said by letting the parent tell you "you are not allowed" to have Christmas off, you are letting her dictate when you - a self employed person - can take your holidays.

There is still plenty of time to give notice that you are HAVING Christmas off, if thats what you want, it is up to you - she does not employ you!!! Ok it may be inconvenient for her, but 2+ months notice is more than if you were terminating her contract so she hasn't really got any excuse to argue!!

As for taking time off when your daughter is on maternity leave, the same applies, if she still owes you a weeks holiday then you should have it - not being funny but if you were ill she would have to make alternative arrangements!!!

If she and other parents want to arrange school run between them then let them, but make it clear that your insurance won't allow it to happen on your premises!!

Good luck!!!

[The Juggler]

My DO said im not allowed to recommend any CM to parents as this might go against me if the parent doesn't think they are suitable.


twaddle - I understand what you DO is saying - by recommending someone the parent could come back to you and shout at you but you could always additionally explain that its up to the parent to ensure the suitability of the childminder they are selecting.

Why do DO's think they can tell us what we can and can't do:panic: Honestly they get to big for their boots sometimes - its like recommending a certain milk brand to someone. At the end of the day its always their choice.

Not 'allowed' - :rolleyes: to recommend:rolleyes:[/QUOTE]

I agree. a local school once refused to put up my vacancy poster saying that would be effectively showing they recommended me - HOW??? if everyone can advertise fairly I don't see that's recommending someone. Ultimately you recommend someone you would trust but after that parents make their own decision.

[MissTinkerbell]

[QUOTE=~Chelle~;789957]But in the circumstances, childminders assistant, who is also her daughter is having a baby and childminder would be over her numbers if she were to look after all of the children at once, I should think that 5 months notice of a weeks holiday is more than fair, don't you? Especially seeing as this minder has a week holiday due to her that she hasn't taken yet.

QUOTE]

I wasn't saying the CM was being unfair - I was just saying that its not something I would do.

[LisaMcNally09]

Now I understand the problem I think you need to be very firm!

As others have said when we give our holiday dates to parents it isnt asking for permission its letting them know you wont be working. This applies to everything from payment to holidays....if you give people an inch they will take a mile!

Personally I wouldnt have separate holidays for separate parents...thats just personal choice as when I have a holiday i just want time with me and my kids. I can see why you need to do this though and i think the parent has no choice but to arrange other care.

I would explain to her very strongly that who you use as an assistant is your business as is when and how you arrange your holidays. Just state that you are having that week off and theres no more argument. At end of the day she can only kick up a fuss if you listen. If you just state to her what is going to happen and dont get into a discussion about it then she has no choice but to arrange something herself.

hth:D

[MissTinkerbell]

I agree with others.....its up to you to tell parents when you are having holidays and whether you want to work Christmas or not.

By allowing this parent to not allow you to have Christmas off she obviously feels that she can tell you when you can have holidays and when you can't. You need to politely tell her that you are having this time off (after all 5 months is giving her plenty of time to arrange other childcare)- if you don't feel that you can do this verbally...put it in writing. Provide her with a list of telephone numbers of alternative childminders, but stating that you cannot comment on the quality of care and are not recommending anyone specific, its up to her to decide who will provide the best temp care for her children.

Like some others I personally wouldn't have different holiday times for different sets of parents - not only would this get confusing but I wouldn't actually get any time off but I suppose I can see why you are doing it and it is not up to her to tell you that you can't do this - she does not employ you - she pays for the service you offer.