View Full Version : Shaking my head in disbelief
MissTinkerbell
29-09-2010, 07:29 AM
My 3 and a half year old mindee has arrived in sandals this morning - I didn't notice when she arrived otherwise I would ahve said something.
When I noticed I asked her why she had sandals on she said " because thats what I wanted to wear this morning":eek:
The weather here is wet and it forecasts heavy downpours later:panic:
What gets me is that mum is an infant teacher and I can't believe that she is allowing her 3 year old to tell her what she is wearing. Now I know if there was an issue and tantrum I would have put shoes/wellies in her bag however nothing.
Just can't believe they've let her come in sandals today - they both seem such sensible parents usually.
mama2three
29-09-2010, 07:38 AM
has mum even noticed? If im in stressed rush mode ( not unusual) I am known to tell my 4 year old shoes , coat , car! while Im grabbing whatever to get out of the door...and dont always actually look at what he has put on ... dreadful mummy!
Mouse
29-09-2010, 07:39 AM
It's often easy to say that parents shouldn't let a 3yr old dictate what they wear, but when you're in a rush in the morning it's often easier to go along with it than have a big battle about it. BUT, it would have made more sense for parents to send some alternative footwear that was more appropriate for the weather.
I used to min a 3yr old boy who would often turn up in a fairy dress. It's the only way hi mum could get him out the door! She always put a change of clothes in his bag though & I'd change him if we were going out.
i disagree Mouse, even now (at 14 and 10) my kids dont argue with me over what i tell them to wear, god help them if they are being dictated to by a small child :panic:
MissTinkerbell
29-09-2010, 09:14 AM
I agree Hebs -I tell my children what they are wearing, although sometimes if its for party or special occasion then I ask them what they would like to wear or they might say 'can I wear such and such today' but generally I tell them and I always insist on suitable footwear for the weather.
However my point is that today it is pouring with rain and heavy rain is forecast and they know LO has to walk on 3 school runs. Today is a day that is totally unsuitable for sandals. Luckily one of my other mindees was running late and not arriving until 9.30 so was able to go in the car. It also means that if it it not raining at outside time she will have to stay inside.
Plus if there had of been an issue (she is headstrong and will sulk if she doesn't get her own way) then shoes could have been put in the bag when her brothers bottle and stuff was added.
i have had a mindee (aged 6) who left just before christmas who refused to do as she was told would kick gran if she refused to buy her stuff, she would often turn up half dressed and kicking and screaming mum would drag her in to mine and dump her stuff and go.
within mins she would be dressed and calm, as she knew i wouldnt stand for her nonsence :thumbsup:
beggers belief really
little chickee
29-09-2010, 09:40 AM
i have a similar problem - 11 month old mindee arrives every morning dressed in leggings and a t-shirt - no vest, no cardigan or jumper, and just a thin summer rain jacket.
i wonder if mum thinks that we stay in all day. Thing is that obviously how she have travelled here - in the car but i wouldnt go out in the car just now ( cold and wet) in just a t-shirt.
Last week there wasnt even the jacket. i have dropped hints about appropiate clothing ie we went out for a walk today and i put one of my sons (age 7 so huge!) jumper on lo and his hat ( also huge) as i didnt want her to get cold but im gettin nowhere.
Time to be blunt i think.
kate.addley
29-09-2010, 10:40 AM
Send out a little note or add in their diary if you use one, that now the weather is turning you need a change of clothes a waterproof coat and wellies sent EVERY day. If that doesn't work get MEAN!!
MissTinkerbell
29-09-2010, 10:45 AM
It just surprises me because when I looked after her before I had everything - several changes of clothes; wellies left at my house along with spare raincoat.
Yesterday she had 3 accidents so I had to use the changes of clothes in the bag plus some of my own daughter's. I gave dad 3 separate bags of wet clothes - this morning no fresh clothes in the bag so guess I will need to use my daughter's agan if needs be.
Think there's going to be quite a few 'polite' notes on my next newsletter!!
ORKSIE
29-09-2010, 11:40 AM
Send out a little note or add in their diary if you use one, that now the weather is turning you need a change of clothes a waterproof coat and wellies sent EVERY day.
This is what im going to do:thumbsup:
cabby
29-09-2010, 12:18 PM
i had a lo (3) come yesterday with winter coat, hat, gloves and scarf ( it wasnt really that cold) but no shoes or socks on :panic: :panic:
georgie456
29-09-2010, 12:35 PM
Sadly nothing surprises me anymore!!!! Shocking though!!!!
has mum even noticed? If im in stressed rush mode ( not unusual) I am known to tell my 4 year old shoes , coat , car! while Im grabbing whatever to get out of the door...and dont always actually look at what he has put on ... dreadful mummy!
well if you're a bad mother i must be even worse as my dd used to go to nursery without knickers on:blush:
i always gave them to her but again with all the running around would forget to check i often got called by nursery to come down with knickers for her:blush:
sweets
29-09-2010, 12:41 PM
well if you're a bad mother i must be even worse as my dd used to go to nursery without knickers on:blush:
i always gave them to her but again with all the running around would forget to check i often got called by nursery to come down with knickers for her:blush:
ive done that! lol. when i was nannying i sent a child to reception without without knickers on, child didnt say anything and teacher only noticed when the children where getting ready for PE! lol.
Beetlejuice
29-09-2010, 12:46 PM
I had a parent who would never send rainproof stuff with his LO as in his opinion I shouldn't go out in the rain!!:rolleyes: Luckily I have DDs of my own and used one of their coats as spares when I needed to. She would also regularly come in bizarre outfits, including fancy dress because 'that's what she wanted to wear'!! In the end I told Mum to give her choice by all means but between two outfits that MUM had chosen. She'd never thought of that and was delighted with the new tactic and the child then came in sensible clothes after that!
MissTinkerbell
29-09-2010, 12:47 PM
ive done that! lol. when i was nannying i sent a child to reception without without knickers on, child didnt say anything and teacher only noticed when the children where getting ready for PE! lol.
OMG - here's me criticising my mindee's parents and this post has just reminded me how DD2 went up to school to pick her big sister up with no knickers on:laughing: she'd had an accident and I couldn't pop upstairs to get a clean pair because of mindees asleep. I then said I'd get a pair when I woke them up to go to school and forgot. Only realised when i got her ready for bed.
maryp0ppins
29-09-2010, 01:17 PM
My 3 and a half year old mindee has arrived in sandals this morning - I didn't notice when she arrived otherwise I would ahve said something.When I noticed I asked her why she had sandals on she said " because thats what I wanted to wear this morning":eek:
The weather here is wet and it forecasts heavy downpours later:panic:
What gets me is that mum is an infant teacher and I can't believe that she is allowing her 3 year old to tell her what she is wearing. Now I know if there was an issue and tantrum I would have put shoes/wellies in her bag however nothing.
Just can't believe they've let her come in sandals today - they both seem such sensible parents usually.
my mindee came yesterday (20 months) in 'in the night garden' slippers & I didnt notice until we went to put our shoes on to play out in the rain!! (mum took them off & put them straight on the shoe box)
Well I'm awful but I promised the other mindee's so I put them on her as I had nothing else for her to wear & we played in the rain....
Took socks off before hand as I knew they'd get soaked & at least she could put them on when we came back in home.
At pick up I asked mum if she knew she just had slippers & no shoes, she did, wasn't bothered :(
MissTinkerbell
29-09-2010, 02:25 PM
Well she's now just not to the toilet in time despite me asking her and encouraging her to every 30 minutes or so....I have no clean tights or knickers . I've put her in a pair of my daughter's knickers but I'm not putting tights on her because I only have school tights of my daughter's left since the last 4 pairs of my DD's that she's gone home in have not been returned!
Mouse
29-09-2010, 03:20 PM
Well she's now just not to the toilet in time despite me asking her and encouraging her to every 30 minutes or so....I have no clean tights or knickers . I've put her in a pair of my daughter's knickers but I'm not putting tights on her because I only have school tights of my daughter's left since the last 4 pairs of my DD's that she's gone home in have not been returned!
Can you phone parents & tell them they need to bring spare clothes when they come to pick her up. If not, send her out to the car with a bare bottom.
I had issues with one set of parents not sending spare clothes, despite the fact the child has several accidents a day, and I got fed up of sending mindee home in my daughter's clothes that never came back.
One day I sent a text saying they needed to call at home on the way & bring spare clothes. They didn't, so when they turned up I stripped mindee off & handed her over in the few of her own clothes that were left. I said "sorry, I can't let you take any more clothes home, DD's wardrobe is starting to look a bit bare!"
Later that night dad came back with a bag of DD's clothes & a bag of spares for mindee. Actions speak sooooo much louder than words :thumbsup:
MissTinkerbell
29-09-2010, 05:08 PM
Dad picked her up and I explained that she had a pair of R's knickers on and that she didn't have any tights on because there were no more in the bag and that I couldn't put any of R's on her because they were all at their house!
Hopefully they will take the hint and send spare clothes tomorrow! Trouble is I had 4 vests; 4 pairs of socks; 3 T-Shirts; 3 pairs of trousers for her baby brother and nothing for her apart from a pair of tights and a T-shirt!!!
My other mindee comes with everything for every eventuality - you look in his bag and there are shoes, sandals, wellies, raincoat, woolly hat, scarf, and plenty of changes of clothes plus 2 coats - lightweight and thicker one!!
karen m
29-09-2010, 06:05 PM
I agree with Hebs,my children were told this is your clothes for today,they are now 29,27,21,17 and no major problems ,this is the rule in my daughters house with my grandson she says "it never did me any harm being told what i was to wear"
onceinabluemoon
29-09-2010, 08:28 PM
Well she's now just not to the toilet in time despite me asking her and encouraging her to every 30 minutes or so....I have no clean tights or knickers . I've put her in a pair of my daughter's knickers but I'm not putting tights on her because I only have school tights of my daughter's left since the last 4 pairs of my DD's that she's gone home in have not been returned!
Tell them that your daughter now has no clothing to wear and if her clothes are not returned by x day you will have no choice but to buy her new ones and add the bill to their weekly/monthly invoice. If the child is wetting this much I'd stick her back in pullups too as she obviously isn't ready for training yet
WRT telling children what to wear, I confess that I've never done that. As soon as they were able to open their drawers and get out their clothes they've been independent in dressing themselves. I've never had a problem with them dressing 'stupidly' though. They've developed their own sense of style and colour which at times has been quite unique, but always suitable for the weather or the activity.
They've developed their own sense of style and colour which at times has been quite unique, but always suitable for the weather or the activity.
and there is nothing wrong with that, but when a child is picking unsuitable clothing/footwear then at 3 yrs old she should do as mum says :thumbsup:
singlewiththree
30-09-2010, 06:36 AM
has mum even noticed? If im in stressed rush mode ( not unusual) I am known to tell my 4 year old shoes , coat , car! while Im grabbing whatever to get out of the door...and dont always actually look at what he has put on ... dreadful mummy!
I'm the same, we went out once and it wasn't until we got there I noticed my 9yr old had crocs on (similar wet weather and long walk ahead), my 5yr old was wearing her favourite shoes soft boots with a hole in! I'm sometimes just too busy to notice.
nokidshere
30-09-2010, 07:08 AM
I don't really struggle with it to be honest. If a child is demanding what they want to wear then I would simply carry on my normal day and let them bear the consequences. Hopefully getting wet or being cold/hot will teach them a lesson for the future about choice.
My own boys (now 9 & 12) have always been awful at wearing coats, but thats cool - if it rains they get wet! I'm of the "don't moan to me, you were told it was raining" or "then you should have put your coat on" style of parenting!
Mollymop
30-09-2010, 07:33 AM
I get this problem a lot. It is usually mum saying "I didn't bring her coat as she didn't want it today" and I say well she has no choice with me. Or "i had to carry her down the road as she didn't want to walk" and I say 'make her hun or she will always want carrying :) "
Just can't believe how some children really do rule their parents. I understand that we got to let children make choices but not when it comes to choices that parents should be making such as a choice that no, my dd or ds is not going to tell me they are not wearing their coat today,,, especially when a 2 or 3 year old doesn't really learn from it. How many times have you had a parent who hasn't bought a coat or boots because the child doesn;t want to wear one and then later you take them out and it pours down with rain on the school run and you say to the child - "this is why you should have worn your coat" and all the child does is cry because they are wet, cold and uncomfortable and then a week later it happens again. :rolleyes:
nokidshere
30-09-2010, 10:11 AM
Mind you - I got told off at school last night because my son didn't have a waterproof and so had to do gardening club in the rain......
his waterproofs are in his rucksack and have been since the first day of term - he told them he didn't have it because he didn't want to wear it!!!
MissTinkerbell
30-09-2010, 01:55 PM
If the child is wetting this much I'd stick her back in pullups too as she obviously isn't ready for training yet
She's actually been potty trained for 18 months plus. Mum did her Easter holidays 2009. We've ruled out a water infection and think its just laziness.
I mentioned to dad about not being able to put tights on her because there weren't any and my daughter's ones were all at their house.
This morning she arrives in shoes with all my tights, trousers and knickers washed and in a bag and a plentiful supply of additional clothes.
MissTinkerbell
30-09-2010, 01:56 PM
Just can't believe how some children really do rule their parents. I understand that we got to let children make choices but not when it comes to choices that parents should be making such as a choice that no, my dd or ds is not going to tell me they are not wearing their coat today,,, especially when a 2 or 3 year old doesn't really learn from it. How many times have you had a parent who hasn't bought a coat or boots because the child doesn;t want to wear one and then later you take them out and it pours down with rain on the school run and you say to the child - "this is why you should have worn your coat" and all the child does is cry because they are wet, cold and uncomfortable and then a week later it happens again. :rolleyes:
Well said Mollymop :)