Really Need Advice

[VINASOL]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]I'm having a nightmare with Mindee (3 1/2) and food. She brings a 'packed lunch', but nearly every single day says she doesn't like half that's in it.

Mum puts in fruit/cheese snack (either cheesy string or dailrylea dippers) either beans/spagetti or a tin of tuna and a yoghurt.

Mindee wants to snack most of the day but now I don't let her. She has breakfast with me, and then has a snack about 10am, adn now I only have her half day, give her lunch at about 11.30ish (takes 40 minutes for lunch).

So, this morning at 11.05 Mindee asks for a yoghurt and since mum is not happy with her lack of eating and specifically told mindee to eat all her lunch. So, I said no she couldn't because lunch was going to be in 20 minutes and I didn't want to spoil her apetite; anyway, she had a MASSIVE tantrum, but I didn't give in. She ate some lunch (not much) and then had her youghurt which she said she didn't like.

So, out of tin of tuna, cheese string, youghurt, banana (which was off) and an orange she only ate a few mouthfulls of tuna (I gave her some chicken bites which she ate). Said didn't like cheese, oranges or the tuna, didn't want the banana...she is like this EVERY day.

Anyways, mum says that she doesn't do this at home and is trying it on with me. Except, she's been like that from day one. She doesn't get any other snack and I'm not sure I quite believe mum but am not sure how to move forward. I've suggested doing some hot lunch (have made her hot lunch twice which she has eaten all of it).

Mum isn't happy and I feel as if she blames me, but I'm not sure what to do...what do you think?[/

The other thing I have noticed is that she hardly drinks; she has a bottle with her but she never drinks it all. I offer juice all day but she wno't drink it...FONT]

[Pipsqueak]

Hard one, think mum needs to rethink what is being put in the lunch box to make it more exciting and fun. Do you think mindee is wanting what you/others are having?
Again, I would suggest to mum in saying that you cannot force feed a child but you would be happy to provide a meal.

Perhaps you could give mum some lunch box suggestions - like tuna in tortillas cut into small pieces, funky sandwiches etc.

Does the mum literally send a tin of tuna???? No wonder the kid doesn't want it.

[LisaMcNally09]

Like already said you need to tell mum you can't force her to eat. I would explain to mum that whatever the reason the LO obviously doesn't want the packed lunch as this isn't a new thing she is doing. Tbh if I were mum I would ask for you to provide food if LO is happy eating it. But some mums aren't like me :D

[MissTinkerbell]

I have a 3 and a 1/2 year old who's just the same. Lunchtime consists of toast because its the only thing she will eat.

Tea time is the issue for me - she just will not eat unless its pasta or fishfingers and I refuse to feed my own children and her brother these everyday - that is not a healthy diet.

I got together with mum and dad and put together a list of the things that I serve on my menus and they went through it with M telling her that if she said she liked it, she had to eat it. I have planned my meals around her choices but we still have issues if its something other than pasta in tomato sauce;)

Mum and dad have told me that I'm not to offer anything else if she doesn't eat what I give her and to only give pudding if she eats 3/4 or more of her tea. this is then backed up at home - tonight she had meat and potato pie and didn't eat hardly any of it - daddy then told her she didn't get anything else at home.

I know this is totally different to your situation but perhaps you and mum need to get together and sort out a list of things that LO will eat. Perhaps she doesn't like it that she's having something different to everyone else and you need to sound mum out on you providing the food.

[jumpinjen]

I agree tricky and to be honest, her lunches don't sound very appetising... I wouldn't want to eat a tin of tuna on it's own either, or a manky banana. Can only suggest like others that you discuss with mum, You say she blames you, perhaps you could start it off with saying that you know you jhave talked about it before but you are concerned and perhaps could try another tack for lunch, like some of the things that the others have suggested and that you agree a course of action if she won't eat it. Some children do prefer to snack all day rather than eat large amounts in one go.

Can only be sorted by you and mum working together....hard if mum doesn;t want to work it through

hugs, Jen x

[Kaz1997]

I can really understand the situation you are in as I have had the same problem several times now.
Ofsted keep harping on about healthy diets for the children which I am 100% in favour of, however I am sick and tired of throwing perfectly decent food in the bin due to fussy eaters, that said I will NEVER force a child to eat something that they don't want as this could put them off certain foods for a long time...
I do introduce new foods to them as often as I can and always tell them that even if they just taste a tiny bit, then myself, mummy and daddy would be really happy:) If they don't like it, then I don't offer it again for quiet some time!
One thing I did try which actually worked for a while was this: I asked parents to provide a list of items that the child liked, then when it came to lunch time I actually got the child to help prepare the meal. The child was so excited and proud as she had done her lunch herself that she actually ate it and told mum all about it when she collected.
Worth a try.... good luck and hope things get better for you.
Love Kaz x

[The Juggler]

Hard one, think mum needs to rethink what is being put in the lunch box to make it more exciting and fun. Do you think mindee is wanting what you/others are having?
Again, I would suggest to mum in saying that you cannot force feed a child but you would be happy to provide a meal.

Perhaps you could give mum some lunch box suggestions - like tuna in tortillas cut into small pieces, funky sandwiches etc.

Does the mum literally send a tin of tuna???? No wonder the kid doesn't want it.

I was thinking the same - she doesn't even make it into a sandwich. no wonder poor girl won't eat it.:(

[tashaleee]

Ive had similar problems before - my solution is that as soon as a child is on 'real food' then I provide all food - I include it in my fees so I dont have the money issue either.

Some parents give 'donations' ie a 6 pack of yogurts, a pack of babybels, some fruit, etc for me to use as I wish every now and again but that is their choice and I dont ask for it.

I find it a lot easier all round when everyone has the same. Obviously if a child doesnt like something then I dont force them to have it and will adapt things but it generally works well for me. :thumbsup:

[newandlearning]

I think it could be a good idea to suggest you provide food if you do everyone's lunch.. and ensure you charge for it..

another thing.. I've had this for ages with my own 3 yo .. and now I don't give him a big snack in morning .. in deed sometimes he gets nothing... it tricky coz he doesnt always want to eat all his lunch and then he asks for breadsticks and raisins later .. like 30 minutes later :angry: ...

maybe to spruss lunch up you could add in the snack (not offered earlier) and would it be possible to keep any uneaten food for later and offer again if mindee gets hungry?

I don't like throwing away food either if I can help it.. good luck.. and let us know how you get on.:)

[mushpea]

I have a child simlar to this in age and eating habbits, only i provide lunch
somtimes he eats everything ok, other times he refues everything, another day he will eat some then throw up (on purpose), then there are days like yesterday where he eats his sandwich then refuses everything else and still wants desert, he dosent get it though,, spoke to mum and he gets a very large breakfast like 2 eggs on toast !!
I dont give him snack anymore he just has milk at snack time cause if he eats snack then he totaly refuses lunch, hes never been that bothered by snack because he's still full from brekie so its never been a huge problem.
I just go with the flow with him and take no notice when he dosent eat as some of it is attention seeking,
also at lunch they get one thing at a time so they get there sandwichs then when they've eaten them they get the next thing and so on,, this stops them picking at each thing,,, if they are hungry they will eat and if they dont then they dont.

[The Juggler]

I think it could be a good idea to suggest you provide food if you do everyone's lunch.. and ensure you charge for it..

another thing.. I've had this for ages with my own 3 yo .. and now I don't give him a big snack in morning .. in deed sometimes he gets nothing... it tricky coz he doesnt always want to eat all his lunch and then he asks for breadsticks and raisins later .. like 30 minutes later :angry: ...

maybe to spruss lunch up you could add in the snack (not offered earlier) and would it be possible to keep any uneaten food for later and offer again if mindee gets hungry?

I don't like throwing away food either if I can help it.. good luck.. and let us know how you get on.:)

or give guidelines on what the lunchbox should contain to be a balanced lunch.:)

[VINASOL]

thanks everyone; i think that the overall message is for me to do a hot lunch and charge for it.

Mindee doesn't eat bread or rolls which is why she doesn't have a sandwich. Mum says that she is not like this at home, but she must only give her hot food so how can she say this?

I have a feeling mum will give notice...oh well