View Full Version : How would you tackle this?

27-09-2010, 12:16 PM
I really should know the answer to this being a mum of 3 but its never really something thats occurred with my own children, surprisingly.

Mindee one - La has been with me for 14 months and is now 26 months. Previous to September I had my own 2 children at home (aged 4) and he has never had a problem sharing the toys. A little issue with putting something down and then it being gone when he wanted it again but we got over that with a bit of explaining and time.

Now in September mindee two - Le started and so did the problems. Le is 12 months. The problem is that whenever Le goes anywhere near the toys (even if La isn't playing with them) La wil squeal and shout at hime and get very annoyed. Le can pick up a toy and La will take it off him.

I've tried all the talk about sharing and with things like the cars, trucks, trains and building bricks there's more than enough to go round but La ALWAYS wants the one that Le has. This isn't just at my house either - it also happens when we are at other minders houses and at the groups we go to. Sometimes it is also aimed at the children and not just Le.

Now I realise that a lot of this is jealousy but how do I restore harmonious play? I seem to spend all my time asking La to share and distracting him with other toys.

I have spoken to mum and dad and they have followed this up at home with him reminding him that its not nice to take things from Le and he has to share.

27-09-2010, 12:22 PM
Consistency is the key i think. Keep explaining everything over and over and over.....eventually they get it:D

I had a mindee just like this and it took a few months but eventually he realised he only got moved away if he threw a fit over not sharing. Some kids will take longer than others of course but being patient is the key.

Sorry not much help really:D

27-09-2010, 12:40 PM
I would introduce a reward chart for sharing to motivate the child
at the same time I would do time out for not sharing.

if you are consistent I think it will all work out. (hopefully soon!)

27-09-2010, 01:41 PM
I have recenntly started a new baby too, and my 2yo mindee is feeling very put out by it all, I think it's a bit like sibling rivalry. The original lo is now having to share you with this new baby and is jealous about it, give him lots of reassurance and cuddles as well as being consistent with the behaviour management, my bigger boy is now much better with the baby after 5 weeks.

27-09-2010, 05:17 PM
I agree with the other's, consistency is probably the best way to go!
Just keep reiterating the rule on sharing and do use the time out method if tantrums are thrown etc... do not give in to the child as you will lose the battle.. its great that the parents are continuing this at home and are working with you!
Good luck. x

27-09-2010, 05:58 PM
I have been known to say to a mindee when they wouldn't share and kept saying mine ' actually these are my toys, and I like to share with you and anyone who plays here' caused a bit of a shocked reaction from the child but solved the problem.

Chatterbox Childcare
27-09-2010, 05:59 PM
I would remove the child from play and have time out whilst they calmed down. No interaction.