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VINASOL
24-09-2010, 02:58 PM
mindee (8) has fallen out with DS (also 8). i have had mindee for a while now and whereby he is a handful at school and have had issues at my house when I also minded his sister, he hasn't been that bad (although have had cause to speak to mum/dad on several occasions regarding behaviour).

However, mindee (who is in bad trouble at school for fighting) has just told DS that he cannot play football with him at school any more. My DS is in tears and I tried to get b oth of them to apologise to each other and to forget about it.

DS apologised first, but Mindee refuses point blank to apologise.

Not sure what my next move should be.

Daftbat
24-09-2010, 03:07 PM
I wuld give him an 8 minute time out and see what happens. Don't let it go make sure you get an apology and it will enforce your own boundaries with him and the other children.

Some of the older kids have been surprised with me when i have enforced timeouts with them - they think they are just for the younger ones!!

Chatterbox Childcare
24-09-2010, 03:09 PM
Why does the mindee have to apologise if he doesn't want to play football with your son anymore?

VINASOL
24-09-2010, 03:20 PM
it is such a silly row....both were upstairs playing lego...mindee dropped lego and it broke and mindee says DS laughed (DS said he didn't). Anyway, mindee told DS that he would have to re-build it (even though Mindee broke it), but dS said he didn't want to. Mindee then turned around and said that he could no longer play football with him at school unless he did as he said!

I got DS to apologise for laughing, and asked mindee to apologise for being mean (which he was). DS did apologise, mindee will not.

So I tried not to take sides and get both to apologise and to carry on - but it backfired. Mindee will not apologise and is currently ignoring and not speaking to my DS.

Chatterbox Childcare
24-09-2010, 03:21 PM
They are 8 and boys so I would let them sort it out. boys bicker and make up really quickly - lucky it isn't girls or it would go on for days!

Lady Haha
24-09-2010, 05:20 PM
My ds sometimes falls out with the mindees and I usually try to let them sort it out if I can.

Sometimes mindee will tell ds that if he won't play the game how she wants him to she won't play with him, so I just tell him to play with some one or something else instead and not get upset about it. My mindee realises that her 'ploy' hasn't worked and will usually come crawling back to him and let him play how he wants to.

I would tell your ds not to let mindee get to him. I know it's hard as your ds was in tears, but mindee will soon realise that blackmail doesn't work!

LisaMcNally09
24-09-2010, 05:24 PM
My ds sometimes falls out with the mindees and I usually try to let them sort it out if I can.

Sometimes mindee will tell ds that if he won't play the game how she wants him to she won't play with him, so I just tell him to play with some one or something else instead and not get upset about it. My mindee realises that her 'ploy' hasn't worked and will usually come crawling back to him and let him play how he wants to.

I would tell your ds not to let mindee get to him. I know it's hard as your ds was in tears, but mindee will soon realise that blackmail doesn't work!

Thats exactly what I do with my dd and mindees!!! The mindees/or my dd if its her soon realise that being mean like that doesnt work as theres lots of children to play with!!