At my wits end

[Hayley G]

I have recently posted about the 4 new boys (2 sets of brothers) I have and how they get very physical and wont be told to calm down!

They are 3 & 6, 7 & 9 all from the same school, and there is a lot of showing off. They seem to just want to play fight which I am constantly trying to stop - before someone gets hurt! I have mentioned to both sets of parents about it and tried to find out about there interest as all I am getting from the boys is that they play on the computer (typical boys fighting games) or watch films which I am obviously not going to do everyday. Getting very little help from parents who say the usual boys stuff?!?!

I have said to the parents that I will allow them to have a treat on friday afternoons and play on the computer or chose a DVD (age appropriate) for a length of time determined by their behaviour during the week 15 mins for every day they have behaved themselves and eaten their tea etc.

The problem I have is that the 7 & 9 year old are collected from school between 3.25 & 3.40 and parents have been collecting them from my home by 4.30 (bearing in mind that by the time I pile 5 daudling children into the car and get them home its 3.50) they have a snack and the wrestling starts pretty much the minute they walk through the door. Its impossible to arrange an activity for such a short time and even games like hide and seek are breaking in to WW3 :panic:!! Usually with all children shoting up stairs climbing into beds etc :angry::angry: which I have said are out of bounds and that they are not to go upstairs unless they are going to the toilet!

I feel like I am speaking another language and tried to broach the subject with parents who say boys will be boys!?

My saving grace is my existing mindee 2yrs who despite being given bad example by the older boys is not following suit :) . I am due to have a 10 month old start early november and need to put a stop to this before then!

Any ideas as I am struggling!?

[gegele]

you need to sit the children down and have a clear conversation to talk about house rules.

ask THEM what they think is unacceptable behaiour

what do hey think the consequences should be

you'll be surprised.:thumbsup:

[Ripeberry]

Is it worth having them for 1hr a day though? Sometimes my own girls are quite 'bouncy' coming out of school so I usually take them to the park on the way home and bring the snacks along with me.
That way they can wear themselves out for 20-30 mins :thumbsup:

But it can be quite hard in the winter :( If they end up impacting on your care of the younger ones then it may be best to give notice to the older ones.

[Hayley G]

[QUOTE=Ripeberry;786196]Is it worth having them for 1hr a day though? Sometimes my own girls are quite 'bouncy' coming out of school so I usually take them to the park on the way home and bring the snacks along with me.
That way they can wear themselves out for 20-30 mins :thumbsup:

The problem is that I am paid for a minimum of 2 hrs a day per child which in financial terms is a bit of extra money I could do with its just the parents are collecting earlier than anticipated. I have had one day collected at 4pm and another 3.45pm waiting on the drive for me to get back?!

Its impossible to plan and because the parents are supposed to collect around 5pm (which would give me time to go the the park - have a snack etc) but collecting so early I cant do anything because I dont know when they are going to arrive :panic:

[Pipsqueak]

Having 3 boys myself I know exactly what you are saying, thankfully I have a large garden and they can let of steam. However, there are points when i have to call time on the boisterous play. This includes any mindees as they can be very rough and tumble.

As suggested talk to the boys and explain what your idea of acceptable behaviour is and the consquences, ask them their views as well and come to a suitable arrangement.

Be firm and consistent, as supernanny says its all in the tone of voice and look! (I am so pleased - apparently I have THAT Look:thumbsup: - I can make a child freeze with it!:D ;) )

[helenlc]

If the contracted collection time is 5pm, then if parents want to collect early they will have to come and find you if you are out and about. So go to the park and parents will have to meet you there if they want to collect early. Take you snacks and drinks with you so they are fed and watered. Job done.

If you do this a couple of times a week, it will save your sanity!!

[gigglinggoblin]

I have 4 boys and I find if I let them get out of hand there is no way of pulling them back, on the days I know they are ready to blow (assuming we cant get out for some reason) I am really careful to keep them very calm and if one starts getting boisterous I stop it before it can go any further. Its not easy but they get the idea. In your shoes I would say anyone who gets too bouncy has to sit at the table and do something quiet for 10 minutes - almost a time out but not a punishment as they can do something quiet, more of a calming down time.

Quiet stuff mine love - magazines (especially beanos), lego, drawing, hama beads, computer, tv, army figures (massive packs from the £1 shop) & board games. They also love food so you could give them stuff to make themselves a sandwich and that might keep them quiet for a bit - worth noting mine are always worse if they are hungry!

[mumx3]

Whilst you have the weather and light on your side I would do as helenlc says and use the park, and get the parents to collect from there.

So it will be cold and dark by 4 pm and I would not be worried if they end up watching half an hour of TV each evening or not. Kids need to chill out and have some calm time when they finish school so even if they watch TV or play on DS's (brought from home), I dont think it matters. You dont have to provide a cabaret for them for such a short time.

Give them options though, such as lego, megablocks, k-nex, drawing, books but if they choose tv then fine. Either way make it clear that they need to being doing something...not careering round the house or climbing on furniture.

WHen they need the loo let the go up stair one at a time and one has to come back before the next one goes.

keep positive, and dont let them rule your house! good luck

[breezy]

Get them to sit down with you and they can write some house rules! should be some interesting discussions, but they are more likely to adhere to rules they've helped set. The park is my saviour too!

[Chatterbox Childcare]

I would say they need to let off steam.

Can they use your garden or park space