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newbie
23-09-2010, 06:21 PM
Sorry but feeling the need to moan :(. I am just feeling so unappreciated.....for starters our childminding jobs are not easy by far and every afternoon around 5pm I just want to collapse. My last mindee goes about 6ish and then I have my own children to deal with when all I really want to do is have a nice long bath and go to bed for some tv lol. I finally get my kids into bed about 8pm but yet there is still SOoooo much to do it makes my head spin! Dinner to cook for me and hubby, kitchen to tidy up, washing to put away, uniforms to get out etc etc etc. I feel like I am constantly playing catch up :(

Now I know I am not alone as you all work just as hard as me but my main gripe is that after all this, I really don't feel appreciated :(. My hubby just expects for everything to fall in place around him as if the fairies have visited. I am becoming one moody mare at the moment and he doesn't seem to understand why.......in fact he probably thinks I am on the blob!!! And to top it all off ladies, he will be hinting for bedroom action too and can't understand why I am too tired to give a damn. I could cry I am soooooo fed up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mookins
23-09-2010, 06:26 PM
Sorry but feeling the need to moan :(. I am just feeling so unappreciated.....for starters our childminding jobs are not easy by far and every afternoon around 5pm I just want to collapse. My last mindee goes about 6ish and then I have my own children to deal with when all I really want to do is have a nice long bath and go to bed for some tv lol. I finally get my kids into bed about 8pm but yet there is still SOoooo much to do it makes my head spin! Dinner to cook for me and hubby, kitchen to tidy up, washing to put away, uniforms to get out etc etc etc. I feel like I am constantly playing catch up :(

Now I know I am not alone as you all work just as hard as me but my main gripe is that after all this, I really don't feel appreciated :(. My hubby just expects for everything to fall in place around him as if the fairies have visited. I am becoming one moody mare at the moment and he doesn't seem to understand why.......in fact he probably thinks I am on the blob!!! And to top it all off ladies, he will be hinting for bedroom action too and can't understand why I am too tired to give a damn. I could cry I am soooooo fed up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



PUNCH HIM:clapping: :clapping:

xx

funemnx
23-09-2010, 06:31 PM
Big Hug!!! How many mindees do you have during the day? Is there any way you can do bits and peices like prepare the evening meal while they're napping? I've got in the habit of cooking enough for another meal and freezing it so that the following week I hardly cook at all. A lady comes to collect my ironing and delivers it back all on hangers. My hubby, who is lovely, will not change so I decided not to get resentfull but get help to do the things I struggle with. I hope things get better for you soon x

sarah707
23-09-2010, 06:33 PM
Delegate! Get him in the kitchen doing the washing / drying ... teach the children how to get their own clothes out for school ...

Cook when you are making children's teas for you and dh and put it in the microwave when you are ready to eat.

get someone in to do the ironing and some of the cleaning - if you are earning enough it's a valid business expense.

You have worked a full day too and you need some tlc.

Hugs xx

juejue
23-09-2010, 06:48 PM
Sorry but feeling the need to moan :(. I am just feeling so unappreciated.....for starters our childminding jobs are not easy by far and every afternoon around 5pm I just want to collapse. My last mindee goes about 6ish and then I have my own children to deal with when all I really want to do is have a nice long bath and go to bed for some tv lol. I finally get my kids into bed about 8pm but yet there is still SOoooo much to do it makes my head spin! Dinner to cook for me and hubby, kitchen to tidy up, washing to put away, uniforms to get out etc etc etc. I feel like I am constantly playing catch up :(

Now I know I am not alone as you all work just as hard as me but my main gripe is that after all this, I really don't feel appreciated :(. My hubby just expects for everything to fall in place around him as if the fairies have visited. I am becoming one moody mare at the moment and he doesn't seem to understand why.......in fact he probably thinks I am on the blob!!! And to top it all off ladies, he will be hinting for bedroom action too and can't understand why I am too tired to give a damn. I could cry I am soooooo fed up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chin UP hun ......You are not alone. I to feel unappreciated. The fairies come to mine house aswell. They think I don't work coz I am in the house most of the day and all I get is ........It not my mess so why should I tidy it up.

Some days I wonder Why I do this job n think I am going to get a job in the school..... but when the mindees are not here I miss them like mad.

we all have off days or off weeks........hope you feel better soon x

VINASOL
23-09-2010, 06:51 PM
big hugs...know how that feels...had sister round weekend, as had a party for DS, ok wasn't 'childminding' but still had housefull; had done everything just like i do every day of the week, then sister says to DH:

"don't you ever sit down?" when he was clearing the plates off the main table...then a mindee says to me "you don't have a job do you?", No, I say. "Oh yeah you do, you're a babysitter and you get paid for it".

Yep, I'm a babysitter, and I sit on my backside all day....DH who is out of the house for hours on end does it all...

ggggrrrrr

hope your day improves tomorrowxx

mushpea
23-09-2010, 06:53 PM
Oh hun I know just how you feel,,, a few months ago I was at the same place you are now,, working till 6pm, sorting my own kids, dealing with the bills,cooking, housework etc etc,,, I felt totaly unappriciated and was also a moody cow untill one day I broke,, we had a massive row about how i felt then when we'd both calmed down i explained to him the real problem and he agreed to help out more,, at the time I was working longer hours than him too so he did start helping out more round the house and things are less stressful now even though he is back to the same hours as me he still helps out, well, a bit anyway!
I would suggest you sit him down and talk to him about how you feel and what you would like him to do ie help out more ,, before a massive argument happens like us hopefully he will understand and help out more, it may just be he dosent realise how much you do in a day.

funfunfun
23-09-2010, 06:56 PM
Hugz to you ...............I would personally sort the kids and do nothing after :)have a break ...Let Oh get stuck in whilst you put your feet up

I have to say my last mindee leaves at 6.30.............so then there is bathing the kids getting them to bed pack lunch to be done then there is my tea as i dont always fancy eatin what i have made for the kids .

At the end of all this i dread to sit down with the EYFS bits or the accounts book .

Pipsqueak
23-09-2010, 06:59 PM
Right for goodness sake - get a grip. What on earth do you mean ... you want to feel appreciated!:rolleyes: you are a woman - you should be able to do everything - before anyone knows they need and want it, you should be able to juggle a job, family, friends, study and ensure that you come last.

Tsk tsk, how selfish are you being in wanting to be..... erm whats that word.... apprehended.... no no thats not it..... articulate.... nope.... ahh thats it.. a p p r e c i a t e d.:D :laughing:

Ok being serious now;

Right first of all - start appreciating yourself and congratulating yourself on the all the jobs your do do.
You are not the only one in your house who makes a mess/eats the food/dirties the clothes and jobs such as hoovering, cleaning the bathroom, loading dishwasher/washing machine is not exclusive to the woman of the house.
As said, delegate, get the kids to help out with specific jobs, hubby needs to pitch in as well, sit down with them and make a list of jobs that they can do that would make your life easier.
Or would they prefer you to be not working that will = no extra money.

Try to stop sweating the small stuff as well - I try to think in terms of is it essential to do that today (normally find myself answering yes it is lol).

Failing all that - GO ON STRIKE:D

Alibali
23-09-2010, 07:00 PM
I just showed my dh this thread and he said 'did you write that?'! Sums it up really, big hugs.

Lou
23-09-2010, 08:22 PM
Its a mans world, always has been, always will be, feminism has just made us work harder and do everything else aswell.

I work full time for Social Services (used to be a childminder so completely empathise!!!) and my DH also works full time, yet i DO EVERYTHING!!! including everyhting for the children etc. He says to me "you only have to ask" well firstly why should i flipping well ask??? and secondly if i do he normally says "yeah i will do it later, im too tired now!!" .......I live with it 98% of the time and 2% i will have a flip out with him, which achieves nothing except upsetting and stressing me out normallly!!!

SO anyway i told him a month ago, I was getting a cleaner!!! He was not impressed, and said we dont need that blah blah.......but i can not do it all, and i think he is accepting that now.

Cleaner comes once a week, does all through, bathrooms, floors, polishing, windows, etc etc, and its fab!!!!

I highly reccomend!!!

coffee-time
23-09-2010, 08:37 PM
i so know how you feel, sounds just like my life, my husband has always carried on like hes worse off than me always has an excuse why he cant do the washing cleaning ect ect, he gets up earlier than me so is more tired:rolleyes: but he also finishes work 4 hrs before me (when im at my other job not minding) and in that time does actually manage to cook a meal for tea but of course the kitchen looks like a bombs hit it and guess who has to get home and tidy it up as well as all the other exciting jobs like cleaning and folding clothes and putting it all away, sorting out the kids sandwiches for the next day ect there is sooo much to do but he just doesnt see it or pretends he doesnt!
wow it feels good to have a moan:clapping:

The Juggler
23-09-2010, 08:53 PM
Delegate! Get him in the kitchen doing the washing / drying ... teach the children how to get their own clothes out for school ...

Cook when you are making children's teas for you and dh and put it in the microwave when you are ready to eat.

get someone in to do the ironing and some of the cleaning - if you are earning enough it's a valid business expense.

You have worked a full day too and you need some tlc.

Hugs xx

I agree, get your children to empty their lunchboxes and bags then get them to pack them up with yogs, cheese etc for next day then all you have to do is pop the sandwiches in.

when you're putting clean washing away, sort it out and give them theirs to put away. They can get out their uniforms too. You and hubby take turns with dinner, one of you sort the kids, one of you cook.

Then you can sit and eat no later than 8 then put your feet up rest of the evening.:)

Helcatt
23-09-2010, 09:30 PM
I SO could have written that too

I am at home therefor I can do everything around the house, no worries

All I do is drink coffee and chat to my mates anyway - be it here or at playgroup - so why am I moaning

Its always a competition, who is the most tired, who had the least amount of sleep etc etc and it took me flipping out two weekends ago and me generally being under the weather ever since for him to realise how run down I am and how little he was actually doing

He only has to do the ironing as I got a cleaner in (and she does 2 hours ironing a week too), I do the cooking, put the washing in the machine, hang it out to dry, meal plan, order the food or go shopping, cook all the meals, tidy up after cooking aswell as clear up the mess from the kids. Oh and, bathe my two, ge tthem to bed and get them up every morning, deal with a child who is going through a phase of being wet at least once every night.....need I go on?

He works full time, does crappy shifts but even so,he really was not pulling his weight and he is learning it needs to change.

I have been promised a weekend off when he is next off work for a weekend. The last time I was promised a weekend off, he took over at 4pm on both days and wondered why I didn't count that as a day off. And in the morning when I had been trying to get him to take over, and saying he would, he didn't quite get my scepticism

Lets hope it works this time. Apparently I am being booked in to a spa........:clapping:

HX

Helcatt
23-09-2010, 09:31 PM
Oooooppps, sorry for the very me centred post there. Just wnated you to know that you are not alone. Some people just can not see that you are working cos you are at home

HX

lisaleanneevans
23-09-2010, 09:31 PM
so what shall i do? im single parent, i only have one of my own, but i borrow lots every day, start at half 7 in morning and didnt finish tonight till 6.35, feel exactly the same so so much to do but just not enough time??????????? and no one to help around the house, my boy is so helpful with the little ones, bless him, oh well just thought id join in as i know exactly how you feel, thanks for letting me go on. :laughing:

angeldelight
23-09-2010, 09:52 PM
Agree with everyone else

Hope you are ok though sending hugs

Angel xx

angeldelight
23-09-2010, 09:52 PM
so what shall i do? im single parent, i only have one of my own, but i borrow lots every day, start at half 7 in morning and didnt finish tonight till 6.35, feel exactly the same so so much to do but just not enough time??????????? and no one to help around the house, my boy is so helpful with the little ones, bless him, oh well just thought id join in as i know exactly how you feel, thanks for letting me go on. :laughing:

Poor you

What about your mom or a sister or a friend ?

Can they help you sometimes or give you a break ?

Angel xx

cuddlybunny38
24-09-2010, 07:32 AM
I will lend you my hubby. I work 7.10 till 6ish.My daughter also works here 8am till 5.30 we can have up to 12 kids at some points of the day. My hubby cpmes in from work at 2.45pm he also starts at 7am, he comes into a mad house but he never moans lol, he helps washing up after feeding the kids, puts toys away, makes a cup of tea for us, lets me moan about my day lol and lets me whinge. Lets the kids climb on him and plays cars with the little ones and more, bless him not his job choice but knows it helps pay the bills. Does help, chat to your hubby and ask if he can help in small ways , hope all goes well xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

caz3007
24-09-2010, 11:14 AM
My hubby is pretty good too, but I had to work on him to get to this level of help.

He works 7 - 4.30 but comes home and never moans about the state of the house, kids running around everywhere. He makes his and DS's sarnies, sorts the dishwasher and will cook too sometimes. He always puts DS to bed and does his bath (has always done that even before I was a CM, said it was his quality time with DS)


I do everything else though and it does annoy me when he says can you ring and make me an appointment tomorrow as you are home....its not always easy with children around as you know and his work are fine with him doing it

Helen Dempster
24-09-2010, 02:00 PM
well THAT confused me....I thought to myself "I don't remember posting this"! :laughing: :laughing: