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View Full Version : why are we better/different to a nursery?



beckyteddy
23-09-2010, 07:25 AM
Morning all......

I'm having a bit of a wobble this week, maybe a crisis of confidence really. And I'm hoping you wise people might be able to restore my faith.

Last week a mindee left me because her mum felt that she would be better off in a nursery setting (I say she but I mean the mum as well as the little girl!) Her main reasons for the swap were related to safety ie. less chance in a nursery of small toys finding their way to the baby area, and nursery not taking the children out and about as much with out the mum knowing exactly where they would be. Now I know that these reasons are very specific to this particular mum but I think I've been brooding on it since last week and am now starting to feel a bit of a failure.

I've just had my first 2 days this week with 2 12 month olds and whilst I know I've done a good job I've got a devil on my shoulder telling me that nursery would do a better job than me...can someone please tell me I'm wrong to be dwelling on this before I cry!:(

mama2three
23-09-2010, 07:31 AM
There's a right setting for each family. This mum with her unreasonable insecurities , nursery will suit her better ...not necessarily the child though ..who would benefit from more individualised planning , freedom and spontaneity , stronger relationships , increased social opportunities with various agegroups , the list goes on....... No doubt in my mind , a good childminder is much better than a nursery .

Pipsqueak
23-09-2010, 07:32 AM
you are NOT a failure in the slightest. what the mother is saying - there are no grounds for her say any of that - there is nothing to back up what she believes bringing it round to personal opinion and choice. That is her perogative.

There are pros and cons of different types of setting and it just depends on what the client wants, believes etc.

However, as a childminder, I believe we (minders) are better ;) because its more of an individual, tailored service, smaller ratios, we are as close to 'learn with mother' as a child is going to get without being home with mum, seeing as we are a one-person band we KNOW all the regs, legislation, our children etc, rather than being able to have the excuse - oh well so and so in the toddler room is the first aider and so and so knows about planning.

sarah32
23-09-2010, 07:41 AM
I lost a 2 year old to nursery last month, mum felt he would be more challenged there.

I have no idea what she meant as since he has been with me for 9 months, i'd taught him to take off his shoes and put them away, get his coat on and off, potty training, do puzzles easy, took him out every day he was with me to park, library.

Completely confused.:(

caz3007
23-09-2010, 08:21 AM
I had a friend who had a child in nursery, she asked me to mind her son, but I didnt have the space at the time. There were lots of minor things that she wasnt happy about, but what swung it for her was when she was called to collect him cos he was unwell and she arrived to find him strapped in a high chair screaming his head off. She asked if I would have done that, of course not, he would be sitting on my lap having a cuddle same as my own children. She pulled him out and put him with a CM and said it was the best thing she ever did

Coming to a CM is often just like being home with mum but with the added benefit that we are logging our efforts to extend the childs learning.

The mum that you lost to nursery, appeared to have unreasonable demands. My mums dont know where their children are necessarily when they are with me, cos I will suddenly decide to for a walk or the park or pop to the shops, but they trust me and that mum had trust issues, it wasnt you, she would have felt the same about any childminder

Ripeberry
23-09-2010, 08:29 AM
I've had my mindee for just over 12 months now and he has just turned 2yrs old. We do go out each day that he is with me and he mixes with my own two girls aged 8yrs and 5yrs old.

But I can tell the mum is thinking that he should maybe have a 'permanent' young friend with him. Just not getting the enquiries at the moment and she keeps mentioning a pre-school down the road who take 2yr olds on a Monday (the day I don't work), so I think that if he starts attending it won't be long until he is there full time :(

Lots of parents think that their kids should be in a 'busy' enviroment so they don't get a schock when starting pre-school and reception. CMs are great for small babies and children under 3yrs old if you are not full up.

Pipsqueak
23-09-2010, 09:34 AM
I lost a 2 year old to nursery last month, mum felt he would be more challenged there.

I have no idea what she meant as since he has been with me for 9 months, i'd taught him to take off his shoes and put them away, get his coat on and off, potty training, do puzzles easy, took him out every day he was with me to park, library.

Completely confused.:(


don't be - again its a parent who has got a bee in their bonnet about children need structured/rigid environments to learn. There is no or little value placed on childrens immense learning at home any more. for years and years it was drummed into generations that your child is better of in a nursery environment with lots of other children and staff, where learning was often by rote.

Many parents do not see the value in learning life skills, no actually they do not see that life skills are learning, learning to many people is letters, numbers, equations and they forget about the little things such as un/dressing, social.
the rest of it falls into place and as minders we do all the things a nursery are doing but in a realistic hands on manner daily. we 'teach' quanitity and volume through baking and cooking rather than giving them some jugs in the water tray, we teach them about life cycles through planting flowers or hatching butterflys etc.

A lot of it is how we present ourselves to parents I believe - and the confidence we have in ourselves. although there are many parents who will never 'get it' anyway no matter how much we tell them.

You taught the little one lots - its the parents' problem not yours that they did not understand or value it

Schools are gradually beginning to understand the necessity and value in teaching children in a hands on way, not just in a classroom. There are proven results that children learn better this way - something us minders have always done and will continue to do so.

terrydoo73
23-09-2010, 01:27 PM
I have had parents come to me wanting to take their child out of a nursery setting - reasons given are mainly due a child being moved on into a 2 year old room when their own child was not on their feet yet and they were worried about safety. Another one came to me because their child had a number of falls and the nursery staff couldn't adequately explain what they had done risk assessment wise - one of the parents actually did a spot check herself one day on the nursery and was very unhappy with what she witnessed!

I had another instance where a parent made the decision to take a child away from me when she heard I was taking on twins - she wanted her child to have more one to one care! A month later the child was placed in a nursery! What really surprised me about this one was that although I was contracted to start at 8 am there were quite a no of mornings when she turned up before 7.30 as she needed to go jogging!! She couldn't take her child to nursery before 8 though!!

keeks
23-09-2010, 03:14 PM
I am leaving the nursery environment for the reason I feel I can do a much better job looking after a small number of children and focusing on their care, learning and development a lot more than I can on my 40 that I have in my room.

I also think it is really frustrating in a nursery that I can't go on outings more than once every couple of months when we happen to have enough staff. Another thing is not all staff is interested in putting a lot of effort in, so even though there may be four staff to a group of 20 children, I still run around trying to make sure we are doing a good job.

There will also not be conflict of interest such as management want to do things in a certain way and I as a teacher feel it is not the best way. As a childminder I will make my decisions based on what's best for the individual children.

I can't wait!!!!!

However I am sure nurseries will suit some families better just as childminders will suit others best. I would not worry about it at all, it is nothing to do with you.

xxx

beckyteddy
23-09-2010, 07:37 PM
Thanks everyone for taking the time to reply and offer your opinions, I'm now at the end of a veeeeeery long day and reading all your comments has helped me to put all of my worries into perspective.

I know in my heart that I believe in myself and that childminding is a fantastic environment for children who need childcare to be in, and now I think back on my day my favorite part was when we all (me, husband, my two sons aged 6 and 3, and my two mindees aged 3 and 1) sat down round the table together and ate our tea this afternoon, the kids tucking in, giggling with the baby, chuckling when the little 3 year old mindee asked for an "abripricocle" flavour yoghurt (we think she ment apricot!) and then when they all ran off to run around the garden like the Waltons! Nursery will be the right choice for some families but hopefully the children/parents that I still have are happy!

michellethegooner
23-09-2010, 08:17 PM
I agree with everyone's comment, I have a mindee she has been with me over 2 an a half yrs now, her mum is the manager of local nursery, which other mindees find strange that her child is with me,

The parents said they wanted her in a home from home environment, that is why they chose me, she will go to nursery for half day when she is 31/2 but stay with me before/after then they want me to continue looking after her when she starts school.

I really believe that more people are starting to realise that childminders offer their children more than just learning to read/count etc

Gizmo
23-09-2010, 08:30 PM
Before I was a cm both of my dds went to cms, the cm my youngest had didnt work out and I ended up with a nursery when she was in baby room it was fine she got loads of care and I was really happy but they decided to move her to toddler room when she was 18mths because she could walk well and talk a bit but then the ratios changed and dd wasnt so happy, final straw for me was the day I picked her up with large bump on her head, shoes on the wrong feet and a really dirty nappy, that was the same day I phoned the CC and decided to become a cm myself

nannymcflea
23-09-2010, 09:07 PM
I can answer from both sides of the coin BUT I do feel that childminders have the best opportunities to provide the best tailored individual care for children.:thumbsup:

Our nursery is small. Max 19 kids age 2 plus with 3-4 members of staff depending on SEN and 2 year olds. We do a lot of 1 on 1 to ensure every child is getting me time but even so it's very difficult to be there for every child at every minute.:(

We only reach 19 on a friday during the latter half of the term so it's usually max 15 kids. We go out as often as possible and even take them swimming but it's not the same as getting to know the lo's you childmind.

Nursery or childminder? I know where I'd rather send my own kids.:)

Happy Gardener
23-09-2010, 10:52 PM
At the end of July I left the pre school that I had been working in & started childminding on 1st September. Keeks, you will love it! I too left for all of those reasons. Now I am my own boss & I am thoroughly enjoying building new relationships with children & their parents. My own children have been fantastic & are really enjoying it.

My personal view on nurseries etc.. is that if a child has parents that have the time to enrich & teach them the ways of the world, then they will be mostly fine & nursery can be viewed as a playdate for many of them. However, I have seen far too many children who come from backgrounds where they could do with extra all round input, who do not get that 'extra' support. Without doubt, a good childminder can provide that.

I have a little girl 2.4 mths who is on week 3 with me (3 1/2 days pw). She struggled to begin with re separation, but she is already so much happier, & so are the parents. I just know that a girl of her disposition would struggle for a much longer period within a nursery setting.

watgem
25-09-2010, 03:55 PM
Don't feel a failure research suggests that along with Nannies and Grandparents Childminders provide the most appropriate care for under threes:) we are ideally placed to deliver the eyfs as we usually know our children and their families so well. Parents are entitled to choice and this lady made hers, in doing so she's created a space which someone who wants a truly home from home environment will fill. Perhaps it might be an idea to look into doing the training for accessing the Nursery Education funding? this could add another string to your bow and perhaps provide an incentive for parents to use your services and stay with you once their child turns 3? Hope someone special turns up soon:)

keeks
25-09-2010, 04:55 PM
Happy Gardener, now I'm even more keen to start! Good to hear you're loving it! :thumbsup:
x

charlie potato
25-09-2010, 05:46 PM
Even before becoming a cm i preferred my own children being looked after by a cm. It swayed it when my son used to be left to feed himself at 1 yr old in the nursery he was at. He also fell backwards out of a chair and banged his head. Sometimes i think with nursery settings the assistants are young and inexperienced but these are just my personal experiences and opinion. xx

PRINCESSDAISYFLOWER
25-09-2010, 07:49 PM
Even before becoming a cm i preferred my own children being looked after by a cm. It swayed it when my son used to be left to feed himself at 1 yr old in the nursery he was at. He also fell backwards out of a chair and banged his head. Sometimes i think with nursery settings the assistants are young and inexperienced but these are just my personal experiences and opinion. xx

One of my local nurserys have developed an awful reputation for having young inexperienced girls and a very fast staff turn over.

I actually had a parent come to me, her 18 month old came home with a burn on his arm. Nursery was adiment (sp) it didnt happen there but parent obviously knew it didnt happen with her. After lots of meetings and parent obviously not letting it "drop" a 16yr old staff member in the baby room admitted to straigntening her hair whilst holding the baby! They got their hands slapped by Ofsted but nothing more.

charlie potato
25-09-2010, 07:59 PM
One of my local nurserys have developed an awful reputation for having young inexperienced girls and a very fast staff turn over.

I actually had a parent come to me, her 18 month old came home with a burn on his arm. Nursery was adiment (sp) it didnt happen there but parent obviously knew it didnt happen with her. After lots of meetings and parent obviously not letting it "drop" a 16yr old staff member in the baby room admitted to straigntening her hair whilst holding the baby! They got their hands slapped by Ofsted but nothing more.

Now that is shocking. :eek:

Pixie dust
25-09-2010, 08:09 PM
I am leaving the nursery environment for the reason I feel I can do a much better job looking after a small number of children and focusing on their care, learning and development a lot more than I can on my 40 that I have in my room.

I also think it is really frustrating in a nursery that I can't go on outings more than once every couple of months when we happen to have enough staff. Another thing is not all staff is interested in putting a lot of effort in, so even though there may be four staff to a group of 20 children, I still run around trying to make sure we are doing a good job


That's the same reason why I left my nursery job too!!!! I have worked in a babyroom which could have 12 under 2s, It was like a production line at times all lined up for lunch, mess was not allowed :laughing: Outside well that was only when the sun was shining I have so much more fun now.

I love being a childminder :clapping:

jo f
25-09-2010, 09:36 PM
I worked at a nursery when I was 18. I was in the baby unit and loved every minute of it, I think me and 2 collegues made a fab team but I wouldn't have liked my baby to be sent there. At times I would have a baby in both arms and be rocking 2 car seats with my feet to get them to sleep!!! Looking back I don't know how we did it!!! Things have changed a lot with regs and eyfs. I go to my local sure start centre for a cm drop in and although there are lots of children and staff I think it works brilliantly, I wouldn't mind working there possibly in the future. Back to the point! I think its a very personal preference! Like everythin there are childminders/ nurserys better than others.