Baby Stress

[igglepiggle]

Hi everyone.
This is a bit of a funny (strange - not ha ha!) one but wondered if anyone has any advice for me.
My LO is nearly 2 and was born 2 months premature and severly growth restricted (IUGR if anyone knows anything about it!) having stopped growing at 28 weeks. It was, as you can imagine, a problamatic and stressful pregnancy. Anyway, we're weighing up the option of having another baby although ny consultant has said it would be a high risk pregnancy with risk of the same thing happening again. I haven't spoken to her about work yet but last time I was off an awful lot and had to take early mat leave. I ws teaching at the time. My gut instinct tells me working would be really uwise, not least because of the stress and lifting. However, when mentioning teh possibilty to a parent, who is also a friend, she wasn't very forthcoming and had the attitude of 'what are we meant to do then?'
I feel so stressed about it as it's obviously not an ideal situation to have to think about all of this before even TRYING for a baby but I don't want to let people down any more than I want to say I will continue working only to find out that I have to take loads of time off for scans, monitoring and time off ill. I already know I will need weekly growth scans from 20 weeks.
What you you all do and how would you deal with it?
xxx

[sarah707]

Unfortunately it is my experience that parents who use you for childcare (whether friends or not) will all react in similar ways...

They will be genuinely concerned about you but they will be more worried about your reliability and their work.

Yes it is selfish but it is not deliberate if you know what I mean.

Hugs x

[Mookins]

at the end of the day yours and your ftutre babies health is most important....
what your friend said was selfishly put...but she has every right to worry whats gonna happen?

why should you put your family on hold for anyone else?

you know what to expect...you know what youre gonna have to do...maybe its a case of give and take...or just cut back on your hours to suit the upcoming events.

it is your business after all

xx

[gegele]

if you're set on having a second baby just do it BUT be fair to the family, you can'texpect them to have to be dealing around your needs as you're supposed to help them not the other way round.

i'm not sure i'm coming across very well. what i mean is that you can try for a baby and once you found out you're pregnant give them your notice or found an other minder who would be happy to work with you.

consistency is needed for everyone's sake: you don't need the stress of being unsure you're putting your baby at risk, letting people down....
your friend will understand, maybe try to found them an other minder so you can try to do "transition" by visiting her house more and more with your mindee and spending more time with other minder so when the time come it will come quite naturally to the mindee.

hope i help and made sense. LOL

good luck

[igglepiggle]

Hmmm, that's basically what I said although she seemed a bit put out. I know that continuity is important which is which I let her know what I was thinking as I wanted to give them plenty of time to consider what would be best for them. It arose from her letting me know that in April next year she wanted to change her days so I had to explain that a. I don;t currently have vacancies for 1 of the days she wanted and b. I don't want to promise anything when I may be on mat leave anyway but that I was happy to work with a nursery/childminder to build up her LO's time there as he would need to go for the day I can't have him ( she wanted him to stay with me for the majority of the week). However, most other nurseries and childmidners have said they do not take childern for only onw day and I think she was a bit worried about the whole thing. Hate letting people down:(