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1michelle
15-09-2010, 05:35 PM
I am having difficulties with one of my mindee's he is two and a half years old and I can not seem to engage him in any activities other than water play and even when he is doing water play and I try to communicate and talk to him say how it feels noise it makes anything to try and get an ob really he starts crying he dose it all the time. he is perfectly fine doing what he wants to do when he want's to do but will not do structured play or activities or any thing that involves some aspect of gathering information. Any suggestions on how to turn this around would be greatly received starting to get a bit concerned there might be something wrong. :panic:

Thanks
Michelle :)

Trouble
15-09-2010, 05:41 PM
I think iwould take the water away and tell him we are going to do something else first then the water will come out later, do you know what he plays with at home?
have you had a chat with his mum?

flora
15-09-2010, 06:00 PM
If water is what he likes, bring it on.......

Pesonally I would let him play, make it different add bubbles, add colour, add smell, add animals, ice cubes, boats, contianers etc etc.

Vary it a liltte and see what he does.

Talk to him, ask him if he minds you joining in? If he does, sit back and observe that way, if he is happy playing, you cna make that the point of the ob, iyswim?

Caht to mum, and see what he likes, you don't say how long you have had the lo for, he may just need time to come outof his shell :thumbsup:

1michelle
15-09-2010, 07:04 PM
I think iwould take the water away and tell him we are going to do something else first then the water will come out later, do you know what he plays with at home?
have you had a chat with his mum?

Hi Troble

Thanks for responce I have tried that but he gets extreamly distressed and and starts throwing things around including him self, have spoken to mum as well several times and all he dose at home is play with water her exact words were he will only play with water he will not do anything else and i dont make him because he gets angry ( i think it's more of a control/behaviour issue with him just not sure what to do )

:(

1michelle
15-09-2010, 07:25 PM
If water is what he likes, bring it on.......

Pesonally I would let him play, make it different add bubbles, add colour, add smell, add animals, ice cubes, boats, contianers etc etc.

Vary it a liltte and see what he does.

Talk to him, ask him if he minds you joining in? If he does, sit back and observe that way, if he is happy playing, you cna make that the point of the ob, iyswim?

Caht to mum, and see what he likes, you don't say how long you have had the lo for, he may just need time to come outof his shell :thumbsup:

Hello Flora

thank you for responding I do all those different things with the water day in and out i have been minding him for a year and a half he is very setteled and happy at my setting lo is happy for me to play along side him and talk in general but say for instant we were reading a book and i asked him can you see a red ball to see if he knows any colours or if i say can you see a dog to see if he can recognise things and say them he will just throw what i would call a big tantrum because he dosen't want to do it and this is with anything that is even just a little structured or things that are not i.e playdough, paint, sticking, mark making. I have spoke to mum several times responce to that is in above comment.
Sorry to rant just really concerned.

Thanks
Michelle :panic:

mummyof3
15-09-2010, 07:33 PM
My mindee is 18mths he does not like me to join in or engage in conversations when he is playing. He either crys or he heavy breathes as if he is counting to 10 :eek: I spoke to mum and she said she just leaves him alone at home to play by himself. She told me if I just left him alone playing he wouldn't cry or throw tantrums!!! :eek: I started by throwing in the odd comment and passed the odd toy to him and now 6mths on he is slowly starting to let me join in with him. He still has the odd few days where he will cry or throw a tantrum if I try and engage in conversation with him but they are getting less now.
Have a chat with mum, I hope she will be more helpful than my mindees mum was :rolleyes:

terrydoo73
16-09-2010, 12:04 PM
I feel for you as am going through the same with my twin mindees aged nearly 2 1/2. All they want to play with is diggers, tractors and cars. I have tried to include books, jigsaws etc with the same things in them that show their interest but they never really look near them. I have also included farm animals and farm buildings but all they do is try and drive the cars through the door openings etc and the animals get thrown to kingdom come. I have just resorted now to having only tractors etc out and as we go out 3 mornings a week they can see other toys which might attract their interest and am hoping I will soon work out what else they find appealing! Lately they have wandered over to the paint and play dough tables when we are in toddler groups but all they want to do it eat the dough and try to get as much paint on the paper as quickly as possible - at least it is a start I guess!!

I went into their home the other morning to collect them for toddler group (as it was on the way and easier for me to do this for mum) and there they were up at the table eating breakfast with tractors, diggers etc littering the table and a dvd on in the corner with the same - and mum was complaining they wouldn't eat breakfast for her!!

The Juggler
16-09-2010, 12:18 PM
normally i would say let him get on with it and continue the water play. I am still saying this but, it is a little worrying that he cries when you try to engage with him in his play considering how long you have already had him.

The obs, dont' worry about them, you can observe what he's doing and what he is learning. I think it could be a couple of things:

1. either that there is some reason he really gets over upset when disturbed in his play - if he is really engrossed in which case this might take a bit of support with emotional development as well as giving him the space he needs to play.

2. perhaps there is undue pressure at home/another setting about 'answering questions' rather than just being able to demonstrate what he knows through being observed or general conversation. Hence his over emotional upset when you ask him what a colour is when you are playing. If this is just dropped into a story as part of conversation most children would not get that upset - just not answer if they didn't want to. However, if they clock you are asking straight away and they have experience of being questioned a lot that might explain his distress.

3. there might be an underlying communication or emotional problem hence his desire to be on his own and not communicate - a lot and an extended fixation with water play - I'm thinking along the lines of an ASD disorder or perhaps a hearing problem (he can't hear and gets upset when someone speaks with him as he can't understand).

Personally, I think is more likely to be the middle option but out of interest, what is he like with his parents at home - does he have the same reactions when they interrupt his play. Will he talk in conversation at other times i.e. lunch??

sorry for all the questions.