Please cheer me up

[Helen Dempster]

5yo mindee has just reduced me to tears - out of pure frustration more than anything else I think! He has the most amazing temper tantrums. I've just picked him up from school, along with my own son. He 'kicked off' cos he wanted to sit in the red car seat (they take it in turns and it was my son's turn). I had to hold on to him really tight as he has a tendency to run off in temper and I didn't want him hurting himself. I was carrying him while trying to avoid his kicks, punches etc, while he was screaming at the top of his voice. We got back to mine, where the tantrum continued, he started kicking my wall really hard. Got inside, he then threw his jumper, coat and shoes around the place (I've left them where they landed), started slamming my doors, trying to break my gate etc. For the majority of it I managed to ignore it, but obviously told him off when he was being distructive!!! He's now calmed right down and said he's happy again. But I can't feel anything 'loving' towards him right now and just went to the kitchen and burst into tears (not in front of the kids). He's now just being annoying, attention seeking etc, but not aggressive. I don't want to cry today - IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!! :-(

[carolyn01]

well first Happy Birthday Helen :clapping:

I don't think I would have the patience you have got. I would immediately put him somewhere he can't be destructive, even strap him into a pushchair until he understands he can't destroy your property - he will soon learn.

I never work on my birthday as I don't want to be frustrated and wound up which inevitably always happens especially with the older ones!

Make sure you have a nice treat tonight, maybe a meal to look forward to or even a glass or two of wine with some chocs.

I feel for you - I gave up my 5 year old after 2 days. :panic:

[Pipsqueak]

Happy Birthday Helen:birthday: :birthday: :happy banana: :excited:



As to young man and his paddy - ignore ignore ignore as much as you can.
Record record record the incident and report back to parent.
However, I am presuming he has just started school, so perhaps a little leeway/benefit of the doubt can be applied - he is going through major transition and he is probably really really tired.
Nevertheless, his behaviour is unacceptable. if he has a tendancy to run of - wriststrap or reins until he can control himself.
As for kicking, breaking, damaging - he would have been picked up and put out the way.
Sounds like you have handled it the right way so don't be hard on yourself but have you talked to him about his unacceptable behaviour.

What do the parents say? Think its time to come up with a behaviour management strategy and make small but acheivable targets because if you don't nip it in the bud now he is only going to get bigger/stronger/more destructive.

[Alibali]

Oh, that's not fair on your birthday!

Hope your day improves rapidly and have a wonderful evening and make sure you get spoiled.

At 5 he should be old enough to know that's not acceptable behaviour. Time for a chat with Mum I think, but not on your birthday!

[sfox2003]

Oh my goodness. What a palava over a car seat. DD is 5 & this behaviour WOULD NOT be tolerated. She sometimes starts to slide into strop mode & then quickly realises & stops.

Not the same when its a mindee though! You need to work with his parents, see if he behaves this way at home. If so you need to both react to it in the same way so that the child has continuity & then maybe starts to realise he cannot get away with it.

The buggy idea is a good one. You dont want to humiliate him, but it could be for his own safety. Maybe a wrist strap.

You also need to record an incident like that. He could have injured himself whilst kicking & lashing out.

He may have just started school & if so thats a little different, but he also could be in yr 1. If he has not just started school then you definatley need to work with mum & dad & get to the bottom of the behaviour. Perhaps attend a training course on promoting positive behaviour for over 5's.

good luck.

Edited to say - HAPPY BIRTHDAY :birthday:

[The Juggler]

oh, happy birthday and a big hug honxxx


good advice already, if he's 5 and behaving like this a behaviour management plan def. needs putting in place with the parents. why should you put up with him kicking out at you and your walls.

now, have a lovely rest of day and evening:)

[sarah707]

Hugs to you! :group hug: