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View Full Version : BATTLE OF WILLS...advice



VINASOL
10-09-2010, 12:20 PM
Am I being too firm?

Mindee has decided that she doesn't like any of her food (that mum brought) and is mucking about; throwing cutlery and not eating.

Have been sitting here for over an hour but she refuses it and is being extremely rude (calling me stupid).

So, I've said that we are not going to the park until she eats five bites of her spagetti, or eats one of her oranges.

What do you suggest?

miffy
10-09-2010, 12:23 PM
You're making this a battle by insisting she eats.

Take the wind out of her sails and tell her that she either starts to eat her food in the next 5 minutes or you will put it all away and there will be nothing else until the next meal.

Then it is her choice and stick to whatever she does. Don't talk about it again and explain to parents tonight what has happened.

Good luck

Miffy xx

VINASOL
10-09-2010, 12:29 PM
thanks. i think it was me :blush:

I've taken it away now and have forgotten about it. Am going to take the girls out for a walk - some fresh air is needed me thinks.

Guess I'm not used to having such a 'demanding' girl lol

RedDragon
10-09-2010, 12:32 PM
I have a new one, just started - before and after school.

Walking to school I heard a dog barking "Ah, listen to the dog" say I

"It's not a dog, it's a cat" says she.

I argued all the way to school :blush: :panic: as I wouldn't give in lol and neither would she.


lol not very good of me I just couldn't help it.

miffy
10-09-2010, 12:36 PM
thanks. i think it was me :blush:

I've taken it away now and have forgotten about it. Am going to take the girls out for a walk - some fresh air is needed me thinks.

Guess I'm not used to having such a 'demanding' girl lol

It's easy to get locked into a battle of wills! Even worse if you've made them a lovely dinner and they won't touch it!

Enjoy your walk! :)

Miffy xx

venus89
10-09-2010, 12:38 PM
Oh but it's so easy to do! I got into a totally pointless battle about what type of berries we were going to eat for snack. It was so silly, but once I'd got into them it was very hard to get out of it.....
Ah well, we live and learn! Hopefully ;)

helenlc
10-09-2010, 01:01 PM
Think of this saying:

Pick your battles!!!

I tell myself this when the little ones are being a bit demanding etc. The bigger battles ie over safety etc, I will win. Other ones I am prepared to let go for a quiet life!!!

The battle with food is a common one and its about control. The child wants control. I had a particularly stubborn eater and in the end, I just put it down infront of them, said Eat up and left them to it. But they only had 30 minutes to eat the meal. If they didnt eat it, I took it away and they went without until the next meal. I always explained to the parent what had happened. I have never had anybody object to such tactics. (And tough titty boom if they did - lol - my house, my rules!!)

By battling with them, you are giving them the chance of them possibly winning. The best thing to do is ignore and walk away.

Well done you on being the grown up!!:laughing:

The Juggler
10-09-2010, 01:36 PM
You're making this a battle by insisting she eats.

Take the wind out of her sails and tell her that she either starts to eat her food in the next 5 minutes or you will put it all away and there will be nothing else until the next meal.

Then it is her choice and stick to whatever she does. Don't talk about it again and explain to parents tonight what has happened.

Good luck

Miffy xx

:thumbsup: I agree. I will usually persuade a first with a few more bites (if they've eaten none of it) so you won't be hungry but if she's being this badly behaved then just say it's eaten or it goes.

I'd agree a plan with mum and say you'd advise no more than 1 peice of fruit as a snack between meals so that she doesn't just fill up on snacks instead. I reckon after a few weeks of you just taking it away with no fuss and nothing much else to eat until next meal she'll at least start having a few bites.

Might be worth finding out if this is/isn't one of her favorites. Also, get mum on side and backing you up about being rude to you.

Tina O
10-09-2010, 08:28 PM
I also have same rule, don't eat then nothing until next meal and my mindees parents support that attitude........:D

mum26
10-09-2010, 08:49 PM
I also look after a little girl who is very strong willed. Mum supplies the food and one day she will eat something then the next time it is served she wont. I do just take the food away and she doesn't have anything to eat until next meal time, however I do feel concerned as some days she will eat hardly anything. She has just had a health check though and mum says she is on target for height and weight which is the main thing. I'm just a born worrier I suppose.

Tribe_mummy
10-09-2010, 09:08 PM
I have this with my own 5yo DS atm! He gets a time limit now and a warning when he has 5 mins left. If still not eaten by the time set, away it goes and he has to wait til the next meal, no snacks, nothing except water! Stay strong hun, you WILL win the battle! x

love381
10-09-2010, 11:28 PM
I also look after a little girl who is very strong willed. Mum supplies the food and one day she will eat something then the next time it is served she wont. I do just take the food away and she doesn't have anything to eat until next meal time, however I do feel concerned as some days she will eat hardly anything. She has just had a health check though and mum says she is on target for height and weight which is the main thing. I'm just a born worrier I suppose.

I used to worry constantly that some of the children weren't eating enough to survive, but learned some great tips - VERY HARD LONG LESSON, BUT GOT THERE IN THE END!!!

1. A toddler needs only two tablespoons of food a day to survive!!
2. A child will not go hungry forever - they may not eat what you want them to eat , but will eat none the less. I've had a child who ate one bite of a sandwich for three days running (not another thing passed her mouth from when she got up until she went to bed apart from water) and on day four, she ate EVERYTHING put in front of her!! This was over a battle that she was having with her mum over her packed lunch, she wanted a wrap instead of a sandwich and vowed not to eat!! We still have bother now and again, but she always makes up for it a few days after!!

x

watgem
11-09-2010, 07:50 AM
thanks for that advice, its very reassuring to know a toddler can survive on what seems so little, good to pass on to parents who fill their LO lunch box with more food than even I could eat and then worry he will waste away because he hasn't eaten it all:)

onceinabluemoon
11-09-2010, 08:04 AM
Never get into a battle you cannot win :)

You can't force a toddler to eat and loads of coercion is just attention for doing something you dont want them to do (if that makes sense).

Just put the food in front of them and clear up what they haven't eaten in 30 minutes without saying anything. No fuss, no attention for not eating.

Chatterbox Childcare
11-09-2010, 10:58 AM
You're making this a battle by insisting she eats.

Take the wind out of her sails and tell her that she either starts to eat her food in the next 5 minutes or you will put it all away and there will be nothing else until the next meal.

Then it is her choice and stick to whatever she does. Don't talk about it again and explain to parents tonight what has happened.

Good luck

Miffy xx

I agree - mindee will learn quick enough when they are hungry

Are you feeding others and mindee wants the same food? maybe speak to mum and see if you can provide for mindee as well and this will remove the obstacle.

sonia ann
11-09-2010, 12:58 PM
if any of mine are refusing to eat or taking a long time i put my kitchen timer on for 5 minutes.................it's amazing how quickly they eat up after that, trying to see if they can beat the clock. The battle is forgotten and it almost becomes a game...............hey it even incorporates PRN watching the numbers and counting down :)