Omg! I can't do this!

[Tinglesnark]

I've had m here for hissettling in session and it went well this morning but this afternoon has been he'll! He hit ds1 for hitting him and drove his ride on in to my 18 month old and then pulle the cats tail. He was so insolent and derisive and I don't actually like him

do I carry on?

[~Chelle~]

Just sent you a text hun.

As it is a settling in session and all the other things involved, personally I would terminate with immediate effect. You can't have him swearing at you and being agressive to the boys and your cat.

It was always gonna be tough with the language barrier but violence is not to be tolerated.

Good luck xxxx

[tashaleee]

Sorry dont know any history on this one - how old is 'M'? :blush:

[Ripeberry]

Is he swearing in his parent's language or English?
My friend used to live in France and had a little boy over quite regularly to play with her daughter and he would say something to her and as it was French and she did not have a clue she asked me one day to translate it and it turned out that he was telling her "You are so ugly and you wet your pants"
but he was cunning and said it with a smooth voice :rolleyes:

[Tinglesnark]

He is being very aggressive and hissing at me in an intimidating way, he hurt my 2 small children deliberatly during games and he pulled my cats tail till she screamed and when I tol him to stop he laughe and did it again!
He has been shouting at me for hours and playing aggressive games with the toy soldiers. The last straw was on the phone to his mother explainig our afternoon - she was late and was telling me she'd be an hour late when I stopped him hitting my 3 year old over the head with the lid if a plastic sand pit!

I refuse to have him in my home, the atmosphere is making me nervous!!

[~Chelle~]

An hour late on his first day!!!:eek:

[CAZMCA]

get rid hun, the money's not worth the paper its printed on if hes like that

[kindredspirits]

isn't he 8 or 10??? if so you have a duty to your other mindees to terminate:thumbsup:

[Tinglesnark]

He has gone and will not be back, I just stopped him from hitting ds1 overthe head and he was in my face shouting and laughing derisivly - what is going on here? I so am not meantto be a childminder :(

[emmadines]

OMG - youve dont the right thing.... sorry it didnt work out for you

emma
xx

[jumpinjen]

He has gone and will not be back, I just stopped him from hitting ds1 overthe head and he was in my face shouting and laughing derisivly - what is going on here? I so am not meantto be a childminder :(

You ARE meant to be a childminder.... very few people would feel equipped to deal with behaviour like that.... If he had hissed and sworn at me so that I felt intimidated then I would have called the parents back to collect well before you did so make a cuppa, relax and don't be so hard on yourself.... i took on children that made me feel anxious and inadequate and i gave them notice after 8 months.... next time it would be more like 8 days..... trust your feelings..... you'll be OK!!!!

jen x

[Tinglesnark]

By the way! Sorry Sarah! I was so stressed I put a naughty f in the title!

Ah it happens - I wanted to continue but the aggression was too much. My own two were scared of him ....

Feel bad for putting them in danger :(

[Tinglesnark]

You ARE meant to be a childminder.... very few people would feel equipped to deal with behaviour like that.... If he had hissed and sworn at me so that I felt intimidated then I would have called the parents back to collect well before you did so make a cuppa, relax and don't be so hard on yourself.... i took on children that made me feel anxious and inadequate and i gave them notice after 8 months.... next time it would be more like 8 days..... trust your feelings..... you'll be OK!!!!

jen x

Thanks jen! Yes I did trust my gut today, my development worker advised ne to tough it out but I wasn't prepared to allow him to wreck our home. We were so happy and light this morning but the atmosphere was so thick and we were all nervous...

Hey ho yet another lesson learned the hard way!!

[sarah707]

It's fine to say enough when a child does not fit in with you and your way of doing things.

Not every childminder suits every child - though from the description of this one I think they will struggle to find anyone he suits!! :eek:

I had a child for 2 days who wrecked my house, was abusive and hurt me and my children. He didn't come back.

Hugs xx

[bexcee]

For what it's worth I think you have made the right decision. You shouldn't feel threatened in your own home and how long before your own children start copying his behaviour?

Not acceptable in any way, at least you can now relax and enjoy minding!

[The Juggler]

oh hon. what a day. I don't think he'd have been coming back to my house either:(

[Lady Haha]

I had one like that right when I first started minding and I felt totally out of my depth! He was so violent! I took him to cm group where he went around trying to gouge other kids eyes out!! I was mortified because I was new there and felt like all the 'established' minders must have thought I was an awful cm! He attacked my son at home and in the end I had to isolate him to the playroom and I was on the phone to ncma pleading for advice!!!

I had been minding him for around three weeks but being inexperienced I hadn't set a settling in period. I gave notice, but the next time he was due I was in such a state that I texted parent to say my son had chicken pox and I couldn't work for two weeks!!! Never saw him again!

You definately did the right thing and you ARE meant to be a childminder, you've just had a really bad experience!

[Ripeberry]

He has gone and will not be back, I just stopped him from hitting ds1 overthe head and he was in my face shouting and laughing derisivly - what is going on here? I so am not meantto be a childminder :(

Thank goodness for that. You don't need to Omen child in your home.

[wendywu]

Dont fret over it.

Having been minding for 14 years and would not even have one second guilt of saying to mum dont bring mindee back.

I would not have that child in my house if he was my childs best friend, my nephew, or my best friends child, or the vicars son. :panic:

The fact he is a mindee makes no difference. :laughing:

[Tinglesnark]

Ah thanks folks, I know I made the right descision but you have all cemented that so any guilt u may have felt has faded away lol!

I must have a freak magnet installed somewhere cos they just keep on coming! Lmao!!

[Mykidsrock]

You did the right thing! His behaviour (and that of his mum's being an hour late on the first day) is not acceptable. Your own children have to always come first (and any other children within your setting) before taking on another child - particularly one as disruptive as him. If you are not happy, your children are not happy and other mindees are not happy then it would tarnish being a childminder for you. Don't be so hard on yourself - if this is how he has behaved for you, I bet you will be just one of many who refuse to have him on their books. Would love to know what Mum has done about it all!! xx