Worried about my DS...

[porky1979]

I am feeling really low at the moment. My DS is 5 and he has always been a happy child and gets along well with the children I mind, however over the past few weeks he seems to have become depressed and very angry. He doesn't want to do anything, if I suggest going to the park or something he gets the hump and starts misbehaving and being nasty to me. He is also really nasty to my other ds who is 12, he tells him that he hates him and also has really bad nightmares where he calls out his name and really shouts (this is quite distressing because it makes me wonder if something is happening that i don't know about and he is letting it out in his sleep). He just seems to get in a strop over the slightest things. Last night he trashed his bedroom because we sent him to bed and this made me really upset, he did clear it up after but wouldn't say goodnight or anything. I had a quick look on the net last night about behavour disorders and he seems to have the signs of Bipolar, I am probably jumping to conclusions but it has really upset me to think that he may be suffering from some sort of deoression, it makes me feel that i have failed him in some way. My DH thinks that the summer holidays have made him like this and when he goes back to school he may be better as he will be occupied and with his friends. I am thinking about taking him to the dr's today but worried the dr will just push it aside. I guess I could wait and see if he gets better once back at school (tomorrow), i am just worried now, i think the internet is great but maybe it is putting ideas in my head. Just wondered if anyone else has had this problem and what they would do. Sorry I've gone on a bit. :(

[curlycathy]

Firstly don't think that you have failed him - you sound like a loving caring mum trying to do your best for your children. The very fact that you are looking for help says so!

Your DH may be right. Could you have one of his friends round to play or is that difficult with minding. It may be that he's feeling a bit frustrated at having to share you - don't feel bad about that, when my kids start on about this I ask them would they rather I went out to work so they would have to go to childminder/nursery instead!!

If he's starting back at school tomorrow I think I'd be inclined to wait and see if he settles. In the meantime make notes of whats going on, try and identify any triggers - is it if there is a certain mindee or person around for instance? That way you will have some hard evidence to take to the dr if you need to. You could also talk to his teacher and see what his behaviour is like at school - if its bipolar you would expect his behaviour to be consistent at home and school.

Please try not to worry - my 11 year old went through a stage of being really horrible and shouty and got quite aggressive at times - but only at home! When I spoke to school they were really surprised as he was a little angel there! Also its often overlooked that as little boys develop they do get times when there testerone levels increase and they can be a bit like small teenagers!

Good luck hon, keep smiling xx

[loocyloo]

oh sweetie,

no advice, just a big hug to you and your DS.

i suspect he is just ready to go back to school. my dd is 5 and extremely grumpy and emotional at the moment, and talking to friends so are alot of other 5 yr olds! its almost as if they have had enough of doing their own thing and are craving the structure and routine of school! let him go back to school and see how things go.

it might be also that the 'lovely' testosterone boost boys get around 6 is kicking in! my ds was a 'delight' at 6! but at school was an angel :rolleyes:

xxx

[Tribe_mummy]

Hi hun

I think the best thing you can do is let him settle back at school first and just keep an eye on him. MY 5 year old DS has been a complete night mare these holidays, tantrum throwing like a baby, screaming, figthing, happy as larry one min and miserable the next. It must be so hard for them at that age, they spend all year getting into a routine in reception then suddenly the routine has gone out the window and they forget what their boundaries are.

I will keep my fingers crossed that he returns back to his normal old self for you very soon!

Jac x

[singlewiththree]

I don't know if this helps but my DD aged 5 is behaving oddly too, waking up in the night and being aggressive. My friends DS who is also 5 is behaving oddly too. Maybe they are worried about going back or it is an age thing. I remember my DD between the ages of 5-8 being cocky and pushing it more so maybe he is getting to that age. I think its more likely to be a developmental thing for their age rather than a problem.

[porky1979]

Oh thanks for all your replies, makes me feel better that other people's children have been the same. I think i'll let him get back to school and see how he is. I just feel awful when he so misearble, makes me feel like i am not being a good mum. I know he is bored so that may be an issue. I will keep an eye on him over the next couple of weeks and if no improvement i will see Dr. Thanks again you have all made me feel much better. :)

[mama2three]

I wouldnt worry too much , as others have said they do get hormonal! We think of it as a girl thing but there are a few times in a boys development where they get a sudden surge of testosterone and they have no idea why they suddenly feel such strange emotions - agression is a classic one.
there are a few books which can help you understand more and strategies to help him - 'raising boys' is excellent.

[jadylasa]

My DS (7) has always not known how to stop himself when he gets into trouble. i.e, your's smashing his room up after being sent there. My son is always upset that he's done wrong but doesn't know how to get it out so he gets aggressive. He did this yesterday.......Whilst I was having an Ofsted inspection!!!!!:eek: started kicking the furnitue, I sent him to his room and i could hear him banging about in there. I think the ofsted lady saw the funny side and just said well I'll leave you to deal with that, good luck! When I went up to see him I told him i may have lost my job because of his behavour (if I can't bring him up right how can i look after others?) so as I wont be earning I'll have to sell his xbox to make up the money.....he went mad again! He aventualy fell asleep at 2pm, prob just tiredness after late nights all holiday, and like has been said before boredom. but it's still upsetting big hugs. xx

[The Juggler]

my ds could be like this and like someone else said, outside the house, he was so shy and like an angel at school. When he was 5 he would get out of control like this too smashing up his room when told off.

Even now he digs himself deeper and deeper when told off (he's 10) being rude and shouting at everyone instead of saying OK, stop now or I'm going to lose all my privileges.

It may just be a stage but keep an eye and if it doesn't settle it's worth just ruling out some things maybe just speak to your health visitor.

Do you think your childminding is affecting him? I think we all tend to feel that bit guilty when our kids are playing us up wondering if its our fault for having so many other children around. It's a mum thing hon, I think.:( But I know my kids would rather share me than have me out at work all day and not see me at all.