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View Full Version : Any advice? I don't know were to go from here!



jadylasa
15-08-2010, 08:17 PM
Hi, I'll I'm new to all this posting, so please bear with me.
I have been minding 12 months now and have had this perticular family since March. I have always been very lenient with everything including late pay and late collection, I feel I've gone out of my way on several occasions to help. But now I don't know what to about my current situation......
The children I mind for this family are 2 boys ages 2 and 5 (I only have 5 yr old in school hols) this week the 5 yr old broke his leg on my trampoline! :panic:
My trampoline is in sound condition and I have parental permission for the children to use it. The child was simply bouncing on it, but landded funny and broke his leg. I did every thing I'm supposed to do; fisrt aid, call parents, report to ofsted and my insurance etc. But I still feel so bad it happened.
Mum took him to hospital and left her other son with me (we are now out of contracted time and what kind of person would I be to charge for this additional care!!!) She seemed fine with me at the time (obviously upset it happened but pushing no blame even said herself it could of happened at any time) but since then I feel she's been a bit off with me. I need her to read and sign my accident form, she seems reluctant to even read it. She didn't send either child the next day and has let me know today that she wont be sending them tomorow as she needs to look into things and she doesn't feel comfortable!
I understand she feels upset but she said it herself that it was an accident, I just don't know where I stand.
Has anyone else had a similar problem, or can anyone offer any advice?

miffy
15-08-2010, 08:59 PM
Hello and welcome to the forum.

Did mum say what she was looking into or why she no longer felt comfortable?

As long as you had her written permission for the child to use the trampoline and the child is old enough (according to the manufacturer's guidelines) to be on it, you have made a detailed written account of what happened and notified Ofsted and your insurers then I don't see what else you can do.

Keep a record now of any conversations about the accident and a log of what is happening - eg, showed mum accident report but she didn't sign (date), mum phoned X and Y will not be attending on..... etc, etc. This is just to cover your back.

If you think mum won't send the boys back to you then you need to try and talk to her.

Miffy xx

breezy
15-08-2010, 09:17 PM
Miffys right.

Is there a dad, or nan involved? They may have said something to mum thats set her worrying.
At some point as Miffy said you need to find out why mum feels uncomfortable, it could be a guilt thing that something happened to her child and she wasnt there, she maybe just wants some time with them and doesnt feel comfortable leaving them .

Mookins
15-08-2010, 09:17 PM
Maybe shes just a little bit upset still...after all its her son and its very upsetting when your child gets hurt.

as already mentioned aslong as your paperwork is all inplace and youve done the various calls etc then id say theres not much you can do

accidents happen

did your trampoline have the enclosure net on fo your minded children? think these are aa must have but could be wrong

xxx

Pipsqueak
15-08-2010, 09:33 PM
Will second whats already been said.
I would, however, call NCMA or MM whoever you are with and ask for further advice in approaching this situation.
Perhaps you could send a get well card to the child, sounds pathetic in the circumstances but it will show that you are thinking about them. I would be careful though how you word anything in writing to the parents - hence me saying you need to take advice.

This may be a good time to review your RA's.

The thing is, accidents can and do happen - and this is just what it was - an accident, so of course you are bound to feel awful about it and even worried but don't beat yourself up.

beerheaven
15-08-2010, 09:37 PM
Please don't feel bad about this. My daughter, when aged 4, broke her leg on a trampoline.To this day we are unclear how she managed it!! The accident happened at a friend's house who even to this day, 2 years on, is still apologising!! At the end of the day it was an accident - no one was to blame.

As long as you had signed permission and were using the trampoline within the approved guidelines, then you shouldn't blame yourself.

jadylasa
15-08-2010, 09:48 PM
Thanks for your responces.

Unfortunaly, I bought the trampoline long before I even concidered childminding and didn't think to keep the leaflet with the guidelines on so I don't know what the manufacures advice on age is. But it does have a surround and I regularly check springs/mat/enclosure etc for signs of wear and tear. Going forward I have now decided to declare the trampoline out of bounds during minding hours (even for my own children).
With regards to other family members; I have never met/spoke or even seen dad, they are divorced, I don't know how much infleuence he has, but mum doesn't speak very highly of him. The only other person is the grandmother, but she came with mum to collect the other child after the hospital, and she was fine with me, telling me how brave the little boy had been.
Mum hasn't said what it is she's looking into.....may be sueing me????! or may be looking at alteritive ways of earning money so she doen't have to leave them???!
I total understand about how she must be feeling, I feel it when my own children so much as stub their toe! But she also has a legal obligation to her contract with me, which includes at least reading the accident form. Also fees are due tomorow and I don't know what her plans for this are. Is she gonna pay me? is she not? is she just having a few days with the kids? is she bringing them back? If not is she going to give me notice or just not come back? I know only she can answer these questions, but I just feel so frustraited, but on the same hand I understand she has a young child with a broken leg and a toddler and obviously has to sort arrangements with work, I know my finances are the last thing on her mind.

Desi-101
15-08-2010, 10:05 PM
Oh dear, I remember being told in my training 2 years ago get whatever play equipment and permissions but a trampoline is hazy ground!! only children older than 6 can go on it! even if you get permisson from parent.

I may be corrected but most manufacturors only recommend aged 6 and above!

You may not be covered even though you have parental permission. Call your insurer to make sure but after reading up about it 2 yrs ago I made a decision not to get one even for my son incase one of the other kids I have under 6 want to go on it!

Hope it all works out for you, please keep us posted.

xx:)

charlie potato
15-08-2010, 10:21 PM
I recently did some training with regards of play for the older child. Our tutor said that people in their policies offer a safe environment but that she believes this is incorrect. She stated that life is associated with risk taking and that whilst children are growing up and learning there will always be an element of risk. I knew where she was coming from but parents dont always see this. good luck with it. xx

jadylasa
15-08-2010, 10:27 PM
Oh no desi-101 I really hope you're wrong!!! he's 5! but i did phone insurance and gave them ALL the info, and they never said anything about the age, infact they were very reasuring (I'm with NCMA BTW, if it matters, who's MM are the reconmended for childminders?)

I have reviewed my risk assesments, and they are still valid, this accident could not have been avoided unless the trampoline was not in use. SoI have now said on my RA that I am withdrawing the use of the trampoline during minded hours for everyone. It's the only way of limiting this risk.

I have thought about the get well card and have been umming and arring over it, think I might get the kids to make one for him, one of my son's in perticular was really worried about him. Every text/phone call on my part I have asked how he is how he's slept is he eating etc, before I've got into any other conversation. I have also told mum (and the child) how bad I feel over it, not in any way an admition of guilt in that it was my fault, just that I feel sorry for the child, and I wish it didn't happen.

AliceK
16-08-2010, 06:38 AM
Oh dear, I remember being told in my training 2 years ago get whatever play equipment and permissions but a trampoline is hazy ground!! only children older than 6 can go on it! even if you get permisson from parent.

I may be corrected but most manufacturors only recommend aged 6 and above!

You may not be covered even though you have parental permission. Call your insurer to make sure but after reading up about it 2 yrs ago I made a decision not to get one even for my son incase one of the other kids I have under 6 want to go on it!

Hope it all works out for you, please keep us posted.

xx:)

This was my worry with mine. I had the 4 and 5 yr olds who couldn't understand why they couldn't use it. We've now got rid of it. I knew I wouldn't be insured for them to use it.

I hope you can get this sorted.

xxxxxx

Hebs
16-08-2010, 06:49 AM
accidents happen, my nephew broke his arm falling out of bed :eek:

mum gave permission for him to use it, i would also take photos of the trampoline to sure the general condition (springs safe, safety net etc :thumbsup: )

xx

Mookins
16-08-2010, 07:19 AM
i think you have to remain positive hun

you have done everything possible and it wsa just an accident

xxxxxx

PRINCESSDAISYFLOWER
16-08-2010, 11:59 AM
Sorry to hear this Jadylasa

but as i posted on here once before my friend had something very similar happen to her. The child was 5 (guidelines said 6)

and im afraid to say she got the pants sued off her as insurance was null avoid due to the childs age.

Because she got successfully sued and the court said she was negligent for letting a 5 yr old on the trampoline Ofsted took away her registration


Obviously this is worse case scenario and i pray it doesnt happen to you. Just make sure the mum knows how sorry you are and hopefully she wont have the heart to sue you.

Lick'le Oakes
16-08-2010, 01:23 PM
:group hug: :group hug:

jadylasa
16-08-2010, 01:35 PM
Awww, thanks Lick'le Oaks, a group hug is much needed! i'm still waiting to hear from parent as she said she'd call me today. Still don't know where I stand with her.
I really hope it doen't come to your example Princessdaisyflower! That would be awful, I hope she isn't cold enough to put me and my family through that, that would affect our situation so much, if I couldn't mind, I'd have to put my children with a childminder and I have 4, there is no way I could earn enough to justify it!! For now this is my only option. Not to mention the fact that I love my job. Ok the paperwork can be a pain, but I feel the job satisfaction more than makes up for it, hearing a 12 month old saying your name, or helping them with their 1st steps! just generaly seeing their progress and knowing you've played a part in it. Also the time I spend with my children, I've got used to always being there for them!

carol cameron
16-08-2010, 03:59 PM
Hi, I have never been in your particular situation but I think we all have times when children hurt themselves and we beat ourselves up about it (if you know what I mean). I just wanted to say that I am sending positive thoughts your way and that I hope the situation is resolved soon for you.:)

bekki0405
16-08-2010, 04:55 PM
Oh dear, I remember being told in my training 2 years ago get whatever play equipment and permissions but a trampoline is hazy ground!! only children older than 6 can go on it! even if you get permisson from parent.

I may be corrected but most manufacturors only recommend aged 6 and above!

You may not be covered even though you have parental permission. Call your insurer to make sure but after reading up about it 2 yrs ago I made a decision not to get one even for my son incase one of the other kids I have under 6 want to go on it!

Hope it all works out for you, please keep us posted.

xx:)

I was just thinking the same thing while I was reading through this thread. Mine is definitely for 6 years and up, and only 1 at a time.
I let my mindees have 3 minutes each, timed on an egg timer

bekki0405
16-08-2010, 04:59 PM
Also I meant to say, I would think this is very raw for her right now, as it is for you.
Give her a little time to calm down, and then maybe suggest you meet, maybe you go to her, to clear the air. Hopefully she will be able to see this was just one of those things.

I hope it goes OK, but keep us updated. I'm sending you a ((((virtual hug))))

miffy
16-08-2010, 05:18 PM
Hope she contacts you today and you can talk it over together - I'm sure you'll feel much better once you've spoken about it - it must be awful with it hanging over you.

Miffy xx

Alibali
16-08-2010, 05:55 PM
Hope things are looking a bit brighter. I would be doing my best to stay on close talking terms with the family and hopefully avoid any nastiness, drop round to visit with a wee gift for the child and as you say a nice card from you and from the other children and offer to help out as much as you can for hospital visits etc. I'm sure you probably don't need this re-iterated, but my trampoline instructions are age 6 too, this is why I'd try my best to avoid any ill feeling with the family xx

jadylasa
16-08-2010, 07:18 PM
*****UPDATE*******
Text from mum last night stated she would call me today, so as not to annoy her I have not contacted her.
Hand posted letter through my door this evening, whilst I was in stating

"I am writing to inform you that due to *****'s accident (on thursday 12/8/10), which happened while in your care, I wish to terminate our contract for both ****** and *****. After taking advice I understand that our contract no longer holds and therefore no further payment shall be made. Best wishes."

This is not a legal letter and I don't know if this matters but her post code on the letter doesn't match the post code she gave me for the contract. I don't know where she got her advice from, the letter doesn't state, but I was told by the NCMA legal team today that she could end the contract for the child that had the accident immediatly, but not the contract for the younger brother without 4 weeks notice as stated in the contract.

I don't even want to persue this money (esspessialy given what people have said regarding age being 6+) but more so than that I am now getting the feeling that she might be a nasty piece of work! And I don't want to put the children through any more upset, it's not been too long since their parents devorced. I am really upset that she wont talk to me face to face, I thought I was quite apprachable and we got on quite well.

Thanks for everyone's support and advice it means alot knowing I can get these things off my chest whilst still remaining proffessional. If I couldn't rant on hear I prob would have blown my top off at her.
xxxx

auntym
16-08-2010, 08:18 PM
I hope when you spoke to mum this evening that the talk went well hon, and has set ur mind at rest.
Accidents do happen, a childminding freind of mine had achild break his leg on her watch just by playing in the back garden!
I do hope alls ok xx

coffee-time
16-08-2010, 09:01 PM
hi just been reading this thread, i really feel for you hope all went well for today, ive got a 10ft trampoline and have just started childminding i decided from the start that it would be out of bounds for minded children as ive heard so many stories about children breaking bones on them, luckily none of my own kids have hurt themselves touch wood!!
let us know how you are getting on.

bekki0405
16-08-2010, 09:10 PM
I think you are right to put this down to experience, and move on. Hopefully this is the end of the issue, and although I know you will be out of pocket, like you rightly say, if she had decided to pursue this, it could have been difficult for the children involved.

I hope you start to feel better soon

Pipsqueak
16-08-2010, 09:11 PM
*****UPDATE*******
Text from mum last night stated she would call me today, so as not to annoy her I have not contacted her.
Hand posted letter through my door this evening, whilst I was in stating

"I am writing to inform you that due to *****'s accident (on thursday 12/8/10), which happened while in your care, I wish to terminate our contract for both ****** and *****. After taking advice I understand that our contract no longer holds and therefore no further payment shall be made. Best wishes."

This is not a legal letter and I don't know if this matters but her post code on the letter doesn't match the post code she gave me for the contract. I don't know where she got her advice from, the letter doesn't state, but I was told by the NCMA legal team today that she could end the contract for the child that had the accident immediatly, but not the contract for the younger brother without 4 weeks notice as stated in the contract.

I don't even want to persue this money (esspessialy given what people have said regarding age being 6+) but more so than that I am now getting the feeling that she might be a nasty piece of work! And I don't want to put the children through any more upset, it's not been too long since their parents devorced. I am really upset that she wont talk to me face to face, I thought I was quite apprachable and we got on quite well.

Thanks for everyone's support and advice it means alot knowing I can get these things off my chest whilst still remaining proffessional. If I couldn't rant on hear I prob would have blown my top off at her.
xxxx


Ok thats a really terse letter - fair enough the circumstances but I would be tempted to pursue the money at least for the second child and i would be acknowledging the letter in writing and stating your case - ie she gave her permissions etc. Actually take advice via your insurer.

Mookins
16-08-2010, 09:17 PM
*****UPDATE*******
Text from mum last night stated she would call me today, so as not to annoy her I have not contacted her.
Hand posted letter through my door this evening, whilst I was in stating

"I am writing to inform you that due to *****'s accident (on thursday 12/8/10), which happened while in your care, I wish to terminate our contract for both ****** and *****. After taking advice I understand that our contract no longer holds and therefore no further payment shall be made. Best wishes."

This is not a legal letter and I don't know if this matters but her post code on the letter doesn't match the post code she gave me for the contract. I don't know where she got her advice from, the letter doesn't state, but I was told by the NCMA legal team today that she could end the contract for the child that had the accident immediatly, but not the contract for the younger brother without 4 weeks notice as stated in the contract.

I don't even want to persue this money (esspessialy given what people have said regarding age being 6+) but more so than that I am now getting the feeling that she might be a nasty piece of work! And I don't want to put the children through any more upset, it's not been too long since their parents devorced. I am really upset that she wont talk to me face to face, I thought I was quite apprachable and we got on quite well.

Thanks for everyone's support and advice it means alot knowing I can get these things off my chest whilst still remaining proffessional. If I couldn't rant on hear I prob would have blown my top off at her.
xxxx

How much would the little one whos contract should give 4wks notice bring in?

id be tempted to forget about the whole thing but depends whether you can afford to or not

xx

Alibali
16-08-2010, 09:23 PM
If it was me I'd just cut my losses incase she turns nasty, what a horrible situation for you though (((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

jadylasa
16-08-2010, 09:24 PM
I am seriously tempted to do that pipsqueak, esspesialy since she's kept me sweating all weekend! but what others have said regarding age and having registration taken away, I stand to lose more than her, her's is just moneytory, mine is my lively hood!

I am phoning NCMA in the morning for my advice, only so I can put in a letter to her what I COULD do, but I am waivering the notice period and all other things.
I am going to wait at least untill wednesday before I hand post it through her door whilst she is in! let her sweat for a few days 'cause she knows I can take this further and she has no idea what my reaction will be to her behaviour, just like I had no idea what her reaction would be over a complete accident for 4 days!!!
The only trouble is I still need her to sign (or at least read the accident form, and I still have clothes and nappies belonging to her)

jadylasa
16-08-2010, 09:37 PM
sorry alibali and moonkins, you replied whilst I was typing.

It's a tricky one, cause I am with the council for the youngest for sponsered child care, tried phoning them, but still waiting for a call back!!! but from mum it works out at about £63 for notice for youngest (3 weeks/ 6 hours p/w, I'm on 1 week non pay holiday during 4 week period) which is so not worth it, but for the child that injured himself she owes me for time used put not paid for, basicaly, rather than doubling up her fees in hols when he comes, she pays me an average amount each week (13 weeks spit over 52) (this has taught me never to do this again!) and with us being most of the way through the longest hols of the year (she only started in march) I have acctually had him more than been paid for, it would average out again by march if the contract carried on as it should.

Basicaly I am not chasing this money, but I'm going to let her know how easy she's had it with me, and she may struggle finding another minder, childminders talk to each other, and I've had a vibe something went wrong with previous childminder before me. mum told me old cm was giving up, but I've since learn't that she's still minding???!

love381
17-08-2010, 03:30 AM
Gosh, I feel for you. Especially as you've had to sweat it out for a few days!!!! I think you should DEFINATELY not persue the money side of things, it seems you don't NEED the money from what you've said already. I had one parent terminate as they'd found "better care to suit their needs", did question this as to whether I could accomodate them in the same "better" way (hours, prices etc) more for my own peace of mind I think. I DID persue the money and finally got a payment about 6 weeks later due to me saying I'd seek legal advice/go to my solicitor if she didn't pay etc. Then two days later, very malicious COMPLAINT TO OFSTED!!!! Turns out she's now got her mum doing FREE childcare, can see how it's better care to suit her now!!! x

jadylasa
17-08-2010, 09:26 AM
I've had some clarification today on this age issuse (6+ only for trampolines) Insurance WILL pay out regardless of manufactures guidline. The reason for this is, even if the parent doesn't sign the permission form the child could climb on with out you noticing (you may be with them but have your back turned you can't follow every child with your eyes the whole of the time!) The child doesn't understand the legal implications.

Louise B
17-08-2010, 09:29 AM
Phew, I'm relieved for you!! Was reading this thread last night and was worried about what could happen. I'm so glad you've got the legal side sorted, let's just hope the lady doesn't take it any further. Good luck. xxx

Mookins
17-08-2010, 09:30 AM
I've had some clarification today on this age issuse (6+ only for trampolines) Insurance WILL pay out regardless of manufactures guidline. The reason for this is, even if the parent doesn't sign the permission form the child could climb on with out you noticing (you may be with them but have your back turned you can't follow every child with your eyes the whole of the time!) The child doesn't understand the legal implications.

thats great news...so will you persue the remainder money now? id be tempted too...accidents happen it wasnt as id you pushed the mindee:rolleyes: so why should you miss out on the other mindee!!

xxx

jadylasa
17-08-2010, 09:45 AM
I'm not going to persue it, for the amount its not worth it, the little boys have only just had their mum and dad split up, and quite nastily by all accounts, I don't want to put THEM through the distress of watching their mummy go through legal proceedings again. After all they are whats importtant here. They are lovely boys and I'm going to miss them.
I am going to give mum an invoice of what I could charge her and let her know that due to the circumstances I am going to waiver the fees due, and wish her son a speedy recovery.
Thanks for your advice everyone, and I hope me sharing my situation helps you in your business, not that I wish for one of your mindees to break their leg on your watch, but just incase! :rolleyes:

PRINCESSDAISYFLOWER
17-08-2010, 11:21 AM
I've had some clarification today on this age issuse (6+ only for trampolines) Insurance WILL pay out regardless of manufactures guidline. The reason for this is, even if the parent doesn't sign the permission form the child could climb on with out you noticing (you may be with them but have your back turned you can't follow every child with your eyes the whole of the time!) The child doesn't understand the legal implications.

Just out of curiosity which Insurence provider arfe u with.
I asked NCMA about trampolines and theu told me that in no uncertain terms if a child under the manufactors guidline hurt themselves on the trampoline then the insurence would not stand

Fabby
17-08-2010, 11:57 AM
Blimey, just been reading through this thread and what a horrible few days you have had to go through. Glad you have managed to sort what you can now and hopefully this will be the end of it all fro you now. Keep your chin up x

Alibali
17-08-2010, 12:08 PM
Glad things have worked out better than they could, not ideal however. Hoping you feel better today x

Chatterbox Childcare
17-08-2010, 12:15 PM
Good riddance to old rubbish is my thoughts but I would send her a letter and ask her to collect her belongings by ... date or they will go in the bin.

If she doesn't come and sign the accident form then just put "parent refused to sign" on the parent signature line

Personally, being treated like this I would let NCMA do their best to get your money

jadylasa
17-08-2010, 12:33 PM
TBH it's made me reconcider my career. It's just not worth it. Firstly the worry about how the child is, then being kept hanging on how mum felt over it all, and now do I bother persuing it? Also I've just been informed that Ofsted need to come out and see me, so now i have the added pressure of another inspection. I've not slept properly, I keep breaking down crying, it's affecting my temprament with my own children. I go on holiday next week and the way I feel now, I don't want to have to come back. My husband wants me to carry on, which to be honest is upsetting me more because he can see how stressed out I am by it all.
I have wrote a letter to mum (not posted it yet) stating what she owes me, but I'm wavering it and that I need her to sign the accident form and if she doesn't collect her childs belongings within 14 days I will donate them to charrity as unclaimed goods.
I feel I have been reasonable at every possible angle. I just want to give up I only have 1 other child 2 days a week anyway, don't think I can be bothered with the hassle of filling the spaces I have, parents meetings/working out contracts etc.

charlie potato
17-08-2010, 12:50 PM
I think that you need to go on holiday and relax. Then when you come back you can think what you really do want to do. How much do you enjoy childminding? What do you feel you get out of it? You don't want to make any rash decisions. In any job you get 'nasty' people and i think you've dealt with this right. Don't let one person stop you from doing something you love. xx

leeloo1
17-08-2010, 02:15 PM
Sound like you've had a really awful time of it all! :( Don't give up minding, but maybe just take it slowly and don't rush to readvertise the spaces!

Also, if I was you I'd write a letter to the mum something like:

'Whilst I understand that X's accident was a huge shock, I would like to reassure you that he has always been closely supervised whilst playing on any play equipment - and to remind you that when he started with me you signed a permission slip specifically stating that you were happy for him to use the trampoline.

I understand that you were too upset to read the accident form I completed at the time, but I would be grateful if you could read the following copy ".......", so that you can be reassured that I followed correct guidance (as set out in my policies and procedures) and showed the utmost care for X both before and after his accident.

Thank you for letting me know about your decision to terminate the contracts. I have taken legal advice and was advised that you are required to pay notice of £ for Y child and that you are also required to pay £ that is owed in arreas for X child, but in view of the situation I have decided not to pursue this matter further at this time.

I have enjoyed caring for your sons and would like to wish them all the best in the future and hope that X makes a speedy recovery.'

Then mention having his clothes/nappies etc and what you want her to do about collecting them. Re the money - I'd do what you're doing and write it off to experience.

Then if she does complain/sue or whatever then you have evidence of how reasonable you've been, the action you took and that you've showed her (a copy of) whats in your accident book! Keep a copy of the letter for Ofsted, then when they visit you can show it to them, say it was deeply upsetting that a child was injured in your care, but that you followed procedures and got help for him quickly - then had best interests of family in mind by not pursuing contract/financial stuff - what more could they possibly want??

Any help??

Beckieboo
17-08-2010, 02:18 PM
I have to agree with Charlie Potato, go and enjoy your holiday and see what happens. You are feeling pretty vulnerable at the moment and there are always parents like this around, fortunately only a few and the rest are lovely who appreciate everything we do. I think you have done everything you can and you should hold your head up high! Please dont make any haisty decisions based on this parent. Have a good holiday!! :)

jadylasa
17-08-2010, 03:56 PM
Thank you for your help leeloo1. Your letter sounds very proffessional, I think I will go with it if you don't mind me plagerising?
I'm going to post it tonight. I'll update if any further things arrise from this. x

Fabby
17-08-2010, 05:28 PM
very sound advise from leelou

Goatgirl
17-08-2010, 06:17 PM
Hi :),
Just wanted to say I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Its really just a matter of bad luck.

I had a horrible experience ages ago with a parent 'turning' suddenly and I thought about giving up myself but 18 months on and I feel so glad I carried on. I'm much better now at weeding out the dodgy ones and also at saying no. Every incident is written down and signed off no matter how small, so they can't come back at me with 'twisted' versions etc.

I have really good relationships with all the parents I have currently, but unfortunately in this job these situations are a hazard that we have to risk to keep doing a job we love.

As you say, its the best way for you to be able to earn and spend time with your own children. It would be such a shame to let one parent spoil that lifestyle for your family.

I hope you can really relax and come back from your holiday feeling energised and raring to go. Hold your head up high: you've done absolutely nothing wrong :).

very best wishes,
Wendy

moljak
17-08-2010, 07:20 PM
This has been terrible for you but don't give up.I think mums reaction is understandable but you haven't done anything wrong and i feel that by letting the fees slide it could be seen as an admission of guilt.I'd accept the immediate notice of the child who had the accident but invoice for the other child.In your letter I'd state that all policies and procedures were followed and this was an unfortunate accident, you appreciate she wants to give notice on the children but feel you should follow your own contracts and ask for fees owing.

I'd like to think this is what i'd do as wouldn't want her syaing to others see she knows she was wrong to let them on.That's whay she's not chasing fees.

Just my opinion.As always feel free to ignore :)

Mookins
17-08-2010, 07:25 PM
Sound like you've had a really awful time of it all! :( Don't give up minding, but maybe just take it slowly and don't rush to readvertise the spaces!

Also, if I was you I'd write a letter to the mum something like:

'Whilst I understand that X's accident was a huge shock, I would like to reassure you that he has always been closely supervised whilst playing on any play equipment - and to remind you that when he started with me you signed a permission slip specifically stating that you were happy for him to use the trampoline.

I understand that you were too upset to read the accident form I completed at the time, but I would be grateful if you could read the following copy ".......", so that you can be reassured that I followed correct guidance (as set out in my policies and procedures) and showed the utmost care for X both before and after his accident.

Thank you for letting me know about your decision to terminate the contracts. I have taken legal advice and was advised that you are required to pay notice of £ for Y child and that you are also required to pay £ that is owed in arreas for X child, but in view of the situation I have decided not to pursue this matter further at this time.

I have enjoyed caring for your sons and would like to wish them all the best in the future and hope that X makes a speedy recovery.'

Then mention having his clothes/nappies etc and what you want her to do about collecting them. Re the money - I'd do what you're doing and write it off to experience.

Then if she does complain/sue or whatever then you have evidence of how reasonable you've been, the action you took and that you've showed her (a copy of) whats in your accident book! Keep a copy of the letter for Ofsted, then when they visit you can show it to them, say it was deeply upsetting that a child was injured in your care, but that you followed procedures and got help for him quickly - then had best interests of family in mind by not pursuing contract/financial stuff - what more could they possibly want??

Any help??

briliant letter:clapping:

leeloo1
17-08-2010, 07:41 PM
jadylasa - I'm glad the letter was useful (I find it soooo much easier to write this stuff than say it in person) and please, plagarise away!


moljak - I wondered about letting the fees slide being seen as an admission of guilt too. :( One of those situations that you can't really win, as by pursuing the fees then its more likely the mum will go to Ofsted/badmouth Jadylasa, which just makes the situation worse (and becomes something that you have to 'declare' to new parents, whereas this situation can currently just be written off). For the same reason (looking like admitting guilt) I took out a paragraph I'd written in the letter saying 'I thought you would be reassured to know that I have decided not to let minded children use the trampoline in future' - because it sounds like the activity was dangerous whereas actually they're surely as likely to break a leg falling off a wall/climbing frame etc!

jadylasa
18-08-2010, 08:09 PM
Right guys, I need some more advice.
Due to this accident Ofsted are coming out to see me, kind of another inspection. Now I know they love to see children's work (preferably themed) on the wall. The trouble is i've sent all the work for the mindees in the post to mum, as in my policy it states that all work will go home with the child for the parents to keep unless I use it in the EYFS unique child book or in displays on my wall, if this is the case it will be returned to the child when they leave the setting. I have no other mindees untill sept. so should I get my own children to do a display (I wouldn't normaly) or should I just explain to the inspector why there isn't anything. (I'm not technicaly working at the moment, and have no arranged interviews with prospective parents). I don't mind doing this activity with my children, would be nice to have the quaility time with them, I've missed lots of them trying to sort out the fall out from this mess! however I go away in two days and I haven't packed a thing (there is 6 of us to pack for) and I usualy do a spring clean before I go away (don't want the burgalars to think I'm a tramp :laughing:) the inspector is due the day after I get back so not much time. Any way I can't help but ramble what are your thoughs? display or no display? xxx

Playmate
18-08-2010, 08:35 PM
Sorry just catching up on threads, really sorry to hear what you have been through. Regarding displays don't worry, they are going to be concentrating on the matter in hand and will be more interested in looking at your RA's and whether you have reviewed them post the accident. also if you are just returning from a holiday why should you have displays up? We are currently off for 2 weeks and have nothing around the house to show we childmind :D

Enjoy your holiday and good luck with ofsted when you return x

jadylasa
19-08-2010, 07:23 AM
Thank you for the advice, I will take that on board. I have reviewed my risk assesments, and I'm just refeshing myself with my policies so I can say in all confidence that everything was done in accordance with these. I am going to go on holiday and just enjoy my family. Thank you. xxx:)

RedDragon
19-08-2010, 08:12 AM
Big hugs to you - I think you have coped with this situation very well indeed.

moljak
19-08-2010, 02:13 PM
You have coped extremely well.Go enjoy your holiday!!!!!!!!!!!!

jadylasa
19-08-2010, 02:25 PM
Thank you guys.
Can I just say that I am touched by the positive response I have had from this and it has reasured me that I haven't done anything wrong. This thread was the fisrt thing I have ever posted on any website and I was unsure of the reaction but I would like to thank you all for making me feel so welcome. xxx