bringing own lunch

[julie w]

I have always made sure my mindees have good healthy meals with the occassional treat. However one mindee 7 doesnt seem to like anything. This morning she turned up with mum saying she wanted to bring her own dinner today. It's a lunchable snack thing , a dunker and mini cookies. I just know there's going to be arguments when the others see what she's having as they'll all want the same. So do I let her bring her own or let her sit through another meal with us that she doesnt really like. I do give choices so she is not forced to eat anything she hates, she's just bringing what she fancies.

[HELEN10]

All mine bring packed lunches in a rucksack in the summer hols, so they can put on their own back and away we go. They bring it all year round actually but it just has to be in a rucksack in hols.

Even though i have healthy eating policy there are still a couple that have a load of rubbish in but when i sit them all down i remove it all so their lunch looks the same as the others. They do get to have it back, eventually through the day on the quiet but it saves all arguments at lunch time and to be honest they have had enough anyway when they have ploughed through the sandwiches and yoghurt.

[sarah707]

My healthy eating policy says no to empty calories from crap food and that is the same for all children including my own 2.

Like you I never force a child to eat something they do not like and I will make compromises.

But if they arrive with rubbish then it gets put away for them to take home and parents are reminded of our policy. :D

[jaja]

ummm, hard one, i have a mindee who turnes up and has lots of cakes, crips, chocolate wafers but when i do lunch its a sandwich/ wrap or egg on toast/beans on taost, yoghut, chocolate wafer, fruit, raisins ect, so i like offer something different every day, however, when the mindee turns up with there lunch then the rest of the kids complain that the child is having more sweets and treats than they are, its a hard one which i am struggling with too....

did have an idea of throwing lunch in for free but then the child would still fetch it because its treats but then i wouldnt want my children eating that amount of treats a day so its hard to decide what to do, would be very interested if any other of us have found a solution to it
xxxx

[Goatgirl]

Hi :),
In your position I would stick to my guns, making sure the parents have a copy of my food and drink policy which includes healthy eating. If you accept their packed lunches I'd make it clear you will be storing the lunch and checking it before you give it to the child, removing the unacceptable items. For me, the cookies would be a no no unless all the other children are getting a sugary treat: this only happens very rarely in my house and I wouldn't be happy being presured into providing this daily for all children so as to apease one fussy eater. As you say this lunch does seem to be what the mindee fancies, and could probably be healthier with some effort on the parents part :)... they're probably just trying to stop the whining :D!
As for the dunker thingy, its just processed rubbbish... Maybe you could come up with healthy equivalents to the junk and discuss the problem with parents armed with your alternative menu. If they see you care about their child's preferences as well as her health they may work with you to widen their child's options rather than see it as a battle for her (bad) choices to be respected and try to undermine you.
Maybe the child (all the children) can come up with a menu for the week based on what you know she will eat that is also healthy. I had one after schooler who would eat apple and grapes only for fruit and carrots and peas only for veg. So that's what he had with each snack /meal and if he didn't want to eat the fruit first for snack he obviously wasn't hungry enough for yoghurt and toast or a sandwich :D! Once he and the parents knew I wasn't backing down it was ok, the new problem became how dull it was with such a limited choice of fruit and veg, but he got stickers or a comment on his achievement chart whenever he tried new foods, as well as lots of praise even if he didn't like them. Making his own sandwich for a picnic helped with 'he only likes white hot dog rolls, no other bread' and quite often I made toast which he loves but had unfortunately run out of the 'best of both' I started with and had to use my own wholemeal. After a litlle while he didn't even notice what kind of bread... He's just left me (8 and going to cheaper after school club) but with a few things added to his 'likes' list, such as fruit juice instead of squash and mango, which he wil only eat at home if it's cut the same way as mine, hehe
I'd stay firm about treats etc and not feel guilty at all about trying to keep your mindee healthy. Its your job after all :thumbsup:

good luck, sorry for the wittering.....

Wendy :)

[solly]

I am probably going to get shot down here but all my children bring their own packed lunches and they eat what is in them. All my children eat together and i have never had a problem with other children moaning that one child has got that and they haven't, so to be honest I dont have a problem with it.

I do state that I follow healthy eating policy but a few years ago i had a parent tell me it is her child and it is her choice what she gives her child to eat.
Majority of my parents do stick to a healthy lunch with the odd treat or two in it

[barbarella68]

I agree with you Solly, My mindees eat what's in their lunch boxes.I do not check it as I do not feel it is my right. They have healthy snacks from me.

[The Juggler]

My healthy eating policy says no to empty calories from crap food and that is the same for all children including my own 2.

Like you I never force a child to eat something they do not like and I will make compromises.

But if they arrive with rubbish then it gets put away for them to take home and parents are reminded of our policy. :D

mine too:p

[ChocolateChip]

I have one who comes with a lunch that is not only full of rubbish but is not cooled either- I had to tell her that I threw his chicken sandwich away as it had been sat breeding nicely in nursery all morning!
Tbh this mum really winds me up, this is only happening because her lo has decided that as he's at 'school' he wants to bring a packed lunch even though I pick him up for lunch at mine. I asked her if it could stop because of the poor nutrition, poor food safety and the fuss it causes with the others (bit more diplomatically than that ;) ) and she said ok but then a couple of times she has got funny with me in the playground and said that she will put him in lunch club, so she is leaving work to pick him up at 12.30 and bring him on to me, just because he makes a fuss about bringing his b***** Ben 10 lunch bag :angry:
Don't mean to sound like a mean old cow, but it's purely because she gives in to everything with this child, she thinks she's being a fantastic mother but actually she's turning him into a spoilt brat who sulks and strops when he can't have his own way!

Oooh, sorry, that little rant sort of took over :blush:
Think I need a review meeting!

[The Juggler]

I agree with you Solly, My mindees eat what's in their lunch boxes.I do not check it as I do not feel it is my right. They have healthy snacks from me.

but it is our duty isn't it to ensure healthy eating whilst they are in our care and to educate parents through parent partnership?

[Rubybubbles]

I provide all food:D

[barbarella68]

But who are we to educate, we are not the parents if I got told how to bring up my son I would be livid as would most childminders.We live in a world where we get told what is best for us by governments and look what's happened in the world.The reason kids are so big now is because of lack of exercise but who took away the playing fields to build on oh yes government and councils.Who has just stopped free swimming for under 16's and older people, oh yes the government.
I was told that my son wasn't eating enough when little-fill him up with cream cakes, chocolate etc I was told by the doctors, what happens if he puts on too much weight I say- We will deal with that if it happens they said.
When my Mum was smaller the diet was worse suet puddings,jam roly puddings, beef dripping etc, they just exercised more and had more places to do it.

[miffy]

I provide all food:D

Me too. I think it makes my life easier!

Miffy xx

[carol cameron]

I understand that it's our job to promote healthy eating and when we provide the food it should be healthy but I really object to any setting (including schools) objecting to what parents provide for THEIR child. It really is up to parents what they put into their child's packed lunch and I feel I am not the food police! Of course I encourage the children to eat their sandwiches, fruit and yoghurt first but if mum has put a chocolate biscuit in I am certainly not going to remove it in case another child hasn't got one and might make a fuss. All of my children bring their own packed lunches daily during school holidays as we go out every day and no-one, in my 13 yearsof childminding, has refused to eat because they might want what someone else has. I figure that parents are still in charge, even in these circumstances and if they have decided what to give their child to eat , it is not up to me to remove it if I don't agree with it. Probably not a popular point of view but mine nevertheless!

[selena 31]

i am also afraid that children bring their own lunch and they eats what is in it. we are not the child's parents and there for do not have the right to dictate what the child eats from them . I do how ever make sure parents know that if they want me to provide packed lunch it will be healthy and i only offer water , milk with fruit for snacks ( unless we have baked that day or something but even these will be healthy flapjacks etc). were i work we have a child who only fetches sandwich and biscuits for lunch we have healthy food ploicy but mum still fills lunch with biscuits there is no fruit! but that is not the child's fault so it is the child we are punashing by them starving cos mum carnt afford fruit? we carnt discriminate them not coming to setting we just have to be the ones to offer healthy alternatives when we can so at least while they are in our care we are promoting it ! unfortunatly we carnt change the world , we can only lend a hand to help!
i dont have problems with other children they all just have there own lunch and lunch box and eat whats theirs.

i do have a policy and give out a healthy eating lunchbox idears letter in all my info packs.

[sillysausage]

The reason kids are so big now is because of lack of exercise but who took away the playing fields to build on oh yes government and councils.Who has just stopped free swimming for under 16's and older people, oh yes the government.
I was told that my son wasn't eating enough when little-fill him up with cream cakes, chocolate etc I was told by the doctors, what happens if he puts on too much weight I say- We will deal with that if it happens they said.
When my Mum was smaller the diet was worse suet puddings,jam roly puddings, beef dripping etc, they just exercised more and had more places to do it.

I know where you are coming from but I'm afraid I don't completely agree with you. When I was a child we may have had suet puddings etc, but not everyday. In comparison to today we had virtually 100% home cooked meals that were made from the raw materials. We didn't have the choice we have today, we ate fruit and veg that was in season and if you didn't eat it you either went hungry or got it given to you again for the next meal. We also had far far fewer sweets and snacks.
We also got a lot more exercise, not because the government covered the costs, but because fewer people had cars and so we had to walk and use public transport. We had less toys, so we played out more.

Today's parents (me included to a degree) spoil our children. We have so much choice at the supermarket that we buy much more food than our parents/grandparents would have and then often eat it rather than see it go to waste despite not needing it IYSWIM. We cook from scratch far less but the ready made equivalents usually have more calories and fat than a homemade version. If a child doesn't want a meal we often provide something else (I always tried not to but......well no-one's perfect). And exercise....well kids don't play out as much and many are ferried everywhere by car, plus the myriad of toys they all have that give them an excuse not to go out lol.

I do think we should try to tactfully educate parents if we can, but I can see why some would be reluctant.
(if we had to portion the blame politically then I would have to opt for the Thatcher years and the start of consumerist society when we (people in general) had to have it all)

[WibbleWobble]

i have posted about the chocspread sandwiches with a side order of chocolate the bigguns have for lunch.

Today my Los were watching the bigguns with wide and pleading eyes whilst eating their lovely chicken dinner with three veg and a banana as a pudding...

so


aunty mandy found some chocolate in the cupboard (we made some crispy cakes the other day...its NOT a secret stash) and gave the three LOs a cube of dairy milk each....


they were thrilled....you wouldve thought i had given them the world...


made me feel really chuffed!

mandy xx

[clio0602]

I have siblings who bring their own, mostly healthy with the odd treat, packed lunch due to food allergies. She actually sends them in with breakfast lunch and tea and I provide fruit for snacks. My other mindee I provide for the same as my kids.

I think I would let her bring her lunch. TBH I wouldn't appreciate being told what to feed my kids but, then again, I would give them a healthy lunch. But if they have signed and agreed to any healthy eating policies you may have they can't send in junk like that!

[karensmart4]

Mine all bring in a lunch box, I plate it up at lunch time and if there's any choc bars or sweets in there I don't put these on the plate.

I tell whoever picks up that they have the sweets in the box still as its not fair on the others if they eat it here. :)

The parents haven't moaned about it, but they do still put it in :panic:

[The Juggler]

I understand that it's our job to promote healthy eating and when we provide the food it should be healthy but I really object to any setting (including schools) objecting to what parents provide for THEIR child. It really is up to parents what they put into their child's packed lunch and I feel I am not the food police! Of course I encourage the children to eat their sandwiches, fruit and yoghurt first but if mum has put a chocolate biscuit in I am certainly not going to remove it in case another child hasn't got one and might make a fuss. All of my children bring their own packed lunches daily during school holidays as we go out every day and no-one, in my 13 yearsof childminding, has refused to eat because they might want what someone else has. I figure that parents are still in charge, even in these circumstances and if they have decided what to give their child to eat , it is not up to me to remove it if I don't agree with it. Probably not a popular point of view but mine nevertheless!



The thing is we are not telling them how to feed their child all the time, just asking them to provide/not provide certain foods at our setting. It's not direct education it's education by example. We're not saying 'do this all the time' but you would hope that by us explaining the reasons for restrictions on high fat and sugar/encouragement to eat more fruit and veg or a balanced diet they might think twice and introduce more of this into their child's diet.

I would never tell someone how to feed their child as part of their parenting but that doesn't mean I can't explain what I'd like in my setting. no different to asking parents to send children in weather appropriate clothing and to send suncream or having a no smacking policy in the setting. WE don't tell them they can't smack at home but we try to encourage other ways of doing things.

[carol cameron]

The thing is we are not telling them how to feed their child all the time, just asking them to provide/not provide certain foods at our setting. It's not direct education it's education by example. We're not saying 'do this all the time' but you would hope that by us explaining the reasons for restrictions on high fat and sugar/encouragement to eat more fruit and veg or a balanced diet they might think twice and introduce more of this into their child's diet.

I would never tell someone how to feed their child as part of their parenting but that doesn't mean I can't explain what I'd like in my setting. no different to asking parents to send children in weather appropriate clothing and to send suncream or having a no smacking policy in the setting. WE don't tell them they can't smack at home but we try to encourage other ways of doing things.

I appreciate what you are saying and would agree with the encouragement but my objection is to what some settings are doing ie not allowing children to eat what their parent has sent for them to eat. I am not advocating that children are fed junk, just that it really is up to their parent when they are providing the food .

[Goatgirl]

I appreciate what you are saying and would agree with the encouragement but my objection is to what some settings are doing ie not allowing children to eat what their parent has sent for them to eat. I am not advocating that children are fed junk, just that it really is up to their parent when they are providing the food .

Hi Carol,
IMO it isn't up to the parents, at all. Not in my home and my childcare setting. Everything that happens is having an effect on the children in my care and on the integrity of my setting and therefore my business. If a parent smacked their child in my home I would consider it unacceptable and take firm steps to limit damage done and make sure it doesn't happen again.

I make sure prospective parents have read and understood my policies and sign to say this. If they then go against them, I feel perfectly happy to refuse to cooperate with their behaviour. I'll have a word first of course but if they continue to disrespect my setting rules then my foot will go down. It really is up to me while I am caring for them.

The parents have agreed this by signing a contract with me after we've discussed their preferences and my policies. If its that important to them they can always look for alternative care.

Obviously if there was some serious reason for the child to have to eat junk in my setting that would be different and I could explain this if necessary to the other children, after discussing and agreeing it with the parents...

If I wasn't happy with the way a childcare setting was dealing with issues for my own child, I'd find alternative care. I hope I would fully understand their policies and procedures and have based my choice on these in the first place. :thumbsup:

bws,
Wendy

[carol cameron]

Can understand your point of view on this one but think we may have to agree to differ! Sometimes working in partnership with parents can be tricky when they do things differently to us and for me this can include packed lunches.:)

[Chimps Childminding]

All mine bring their own lunch! I provide healthy snacks, but I do not tell the parents what they can or cannot give their children for lunch :panic: . I always make sure they eat sandwiches, yoghurt, fruit etc. before they are allowed any of the treats they may have, but as a parent I would not have appreciated being told what to give my children to eat, and to be honest if they are as fussy as some of mine were, at least the parents give them things they know they WILL eat, even if it isn't what I would like them to!

[maisiemog]

This is one of the main reasons that I provide all food. At least then they are all eating the same and I know its healthy. I have a policy that says unless they eat all their lunch they have no treat/pudding. And I include my own dd in that (she's the worst of the lot of them as she will not eat snadwiches!).

I would compromise to a certain extent if a child really didn't like something but the alternative would still be something I thought suitable. I want my dd to eat a healthy diet and I have to prepare food for her so its not exactly making more work preparing lunch for mindees!