Never had this before...?

[Helen Dempster]

Hi all

I've got a little 4yo boy starting with me in September, after school and holidays. Anyway, before he's with me full-time, the mum wants to meet up and go to an 'activity' together. I just suggested going to the local park and she seemed happy enough with this. Have any of you experienced this before, and did it make you feel uncomfortable? Do you let the parent just observe and pretend she's not there, or do you let her take responsibilty for her own child when out together??? Not sure I like it, but I've nothing to hide, and will try and just be myself :eek:

[karensmart4]

I've never come across this one. If you have other children with you just do what you would normally do, and be friendly, have a chat and see if you get on.
I did have a parent that spent a morning with me because she wanted to see an average day!!

Some people are funny, but its their child they have to feel comfortable with you :)

[mama2three]

I would be upfront with her and tell her you are happy to do this , but it is not something you normally do , and you would like to know her expectations. Who is responsible during this time for the childs safety and behaviour, who has 'authority'. Does she understand that her presence will be confusing for the child if you are the one in control?
The child will need to be prepared to listen to you , not her...
we all have that difficult time at drop off and especially pick up when noone quite knows where the authority lies , and los take full advantage of this , so make sure you and mum agree beforehand so you dont get a full session of it!!

Good Luck x x

[Ripeberry]

It can be quite awkward at times, I had one mum come on an outing with us and the 4yr daughter would not hold her mum's hand and only wanted me.
I felt bad for the mum, but the daughter knew that I usually have her that afternoon and I think she was confused about who she should go with.

Why can't the mum just come along later to the 'activity' and watch from a distance? :thumbsup:

[singlewiththree]

I do it a lot actually I usually let the parent have responsibility for the child and treat it like meeting up with a friend and child. It can be a bit awkward at first but usually ends out ok. I'm doing the same this holiday as a child is shy and is coming after the 6wks so have asked the parent to come round for a coffee and we might go out together so the child can get to know me with the parent around.

[Stillgoingstrong]

Hi all

I've got a little 4yo boy starting with me in September, after school and holidays. Anyway, before he's with me full-time, the mum wants to meet up and go to an 'activity' together. I just suggested going to the local park and she seemed happy enough with this. Have any of you experienced this before, and did it make you feel uncomfortable? Do you let the parent just observe and pretend she's not there, or do you let her take responsibilty for her own child when out together??? Not sure I like it, but I've nothing to hide, and will try and just be myself :eek:

I ALWAYS do something like this with my younger new mindees - we go to the park or somewhere where they usually go with Mum, then they feel happy and comfortable and be themselves even with me around. I never ever feel uncomfortable with a child, whether parents are there or not. I just play and chat and carry on as I always would/do. However I dont take responsibility for the child - if it wants to run off for example its not MY place to tell it off/chase after it. Its a great way to help with "settling in". I also have them at home on their own for a short while before they come to be minded, and on the first visit with Mum (or carer/Dad whoever) I spend a good couple of hours with them palyng and chatting. Saves a lot of trauma when they come:thumbsup: