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claire'scherubs
21-07-2010, 11:11 AM
Hey Guys, I have a challenge for you

One of my mum's is having a nightmare with her 2 year old and going to bed.

She went on holiday 4 weeks ago without her youngest but took the eldest kids with her, and left the little one in the care of nannie and grandad (strange I know)

Since she has returned he will not go to bed and stay in bed

She has tried the back to bed routine, phenegan, been to the health visitor and the doctor but to absolute no avail. As awful as this is going to sound she has resorted to putting a chair up against his door (have strongly advised her against this)

She is exhausted and obviously so is the 2 year old, and when he comes to me I have to do everything I can to keep him awake.

Could you lovely girls come up with any suggestions, mum is frantic xx

beckyteddy
21-07-2010, 11:34 AM
A really blattent bribe might work? I know it's not an ideal solution, but it might just be whats needed to get the whole situation to have a more positive feel rather than a viscious cycle of mum getting cross, child getting upset, sleep deprivation etc. etc.

Maybe a new toy placed outside the bedroom door at bedtime with simple explanation that the child can have the toy in the morning if he goes to bed nicely. It worked with my little one but he was a bit older (3 and half) so whether a 2 year old would be able to grasp the concept I don't know?

I gradually weaned him off the reliance of a new toy, by using a sticker chart to earn a treat after a few nights of good behaviour, but having something waiting for him when he woke up was just the motivation he needed to decide for himself that he wanted to go to bed more than he wanted to kick up a fuss.

The Juggler
21-07-2010, 12:58 PM
we used a soft stair gate at dd's door so we could leave door open but she knew she couldn't come out.

she hated it. We told her we would take it down IF she stayed in bed. It took a few weeks but it did work.

kerrypriest
21-07-2010, 01:49 PM
Hi, if he used to sleep through before he stayed with grandparents maybe something has upset the little fella so maybe suggest mum has some time with him to try and find out why he has been upset since getting back from granparents house. Hope this helps x

blue bear
21-07-2010, 02:19 PM
she needs to keep going with back to bed, 4 weeks is not that long, maybe give him a photo of mum and bigger children next to his bed to be reassured they will be there in the morning?

She is paying for her holiday bless her, child obviously has been put out by seperation and its now going to be hard work hard building the trust with the LO.

She sounds desperate what with the chair thing but it's not the child's fault is it, she needs to persevre with regular routine and calm bed time

claire'scherubs
21-07-2010, 03:50 PM
Hi

And thanks for all the suggestions so far, problem with the stairgate.....he climbs over the top.

He did go to sleep fine at granny and grandad and I agree its totally a seperation anxiety, mum won't be there in the morning.

Sent her off today with a letter from Bob the Builder and a reward chart from him, she is going to read it and explain it with him tonight so fingers crossed it might help x

Mookins
21-07-2010, 05:55 PM
we used to use the graduation technique on my stepson where they learn to trust you again...stay in the room while he falls asleep.... after a few days you gradualy get closer and closer to the door...then keep re asuring him your just outside the door...then half way down the stairs then calling from down stairs

it takes a while but it works

x xx

marzi
22-07-2010, 12:57 PM
The poor little mite probably thinks she's going to leave him again every night and the fact that she puts a chair against his door to stop him getting out is just going to make that worse. She might need to go back to basics with him until he feels secure that she won't abandon him in the night. Sitting on his bed while he settles and gradually moving further away as he realises she will still be there when he wakes up. A stairgate would definitely be a better idea than a chair, he won't be able to get out but she can reassure him.