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claire'scherubs
19-07-2010, 03:03 PM
Please help!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a vegetarian 8 year old (mum's decision) who is allowed to eat chicken and fish but doesn't eat chicken, pies, sauces, soup well basically she is happy if you give her a plate of spaghetti and some fishfingers. It is driving me up the wall!!!!!

Today I decided that as it was a hot day and that the children that are here today have a hot lunch at school, I would just give them something like cheese on toast for tea tonight, everybody happy except you guessed it she doesn't like cheese!!!!!!!!

I am seriously thinking about telling mum that I can't cook for her, as it just turns into an expensive nightmare. Chicken and fish can't be prepared early and on the days I have a 5 month old baby it can be a really tricky time of the day. I don't want to get into the situtation of having to cook 2 different meals, cause again nightmare not only in money, but "Oh I wanted that" and time with the baby needing a feed at that time too

Any suggestions :(

Pipsqueak
19-07-2010, 03:14 PM
She is 8 - ask her what she wants. Plan a menu together, that way there shouldn't (:rolleyes: ) be anything on the menu she doesn't like.
If the problems still continue, then yes tell mum that you appear not to be able to supply food!

claire'scherubs
19-07-2010, 03:17 PM
She is 8 - ask her what she wants. Plan a menu together, that way there shouldn't (:rolleyes: ) be anything on the menu she doesn't like.
If the problems still continue, then yes tell mum that you appear not to be able to supply food!

Yes, I do understand that idea, but how does that help with preparing early, and what if the other older children don't want spaghettin and fishfingers for example x

Pipsqueak
19-07-2010, 03:36 PM
Yes, I do understand that idea, but how does that help with preparing early, and what if the other older children don't want spaghettin and fishfingers for example x

If the child has helped you plan out a menu and given you a list of likes and dislikes and you do this a week in advance for instance then a) she knows what to expect each day b) by having a list you can pick things out as snacks etc and shop and prepare for.
If she is insistent on spag and fish fingers, variations of - tuna pasta bake, fish pie etc, pasta and sauce or with broccolli, macoroni etc. You can great grills in the frozen section.

claire'scherubs
19-07-2010, 03:41 PM
But when I say she is fussy I mean NO sauces NO pies, NO tomato, NOT much veg, give her chocolate or chips and then she is happy

brightstar
19-07-2010, 03:49 PM
Is she a fussy eater, or holding out for something better? I had one like that. I started serving up the meal with a variety of different foods, and every meal time he said "I don't like that" my reply was "leave what you don't like, Daddy feeds you again later anyway" - surprisingly after a few days he started eating everything.

Bananabrain
19-07-2010, 03:59 PM
That's my stock answer. 'That's fine if you don't like it, you don't have to eat it'
It has dawned on them all now that I won't offer anything else.:laughing:
Seriously, I am vegetarian {I cook meat for the children, under duress} and I most certainly do not eat fish fingers!!!
Reckon you should talk to mum.
She's having a laugh!

Mouse
19-07-2010, 04:02 PM
What does she do about school dinners? Does she take a packed lunch or does she eat school dinner?
If she's eating a school dinner, she'll most likely only be getting one choice of vegetarian meal and having to make do.

It sounds to me as if she's being deliberately fussy as up until now she's been getting away with it.

Have you told mum that she's refusing the food you're making? If you haven't, it would be worth mentioning it. I would ask mindee & mum to sit down & come up with a list of foods that she will eat. Then, prepare a menu for the week & tell them that that is what you will be preparing having taken into account ALL the children's preferences & the limited time you have to prepare the meal. Say that you will you need to know in advance if mindee will be having the meal, if not, mum will need to provide a packed tea for her.

I'm afraid I just wouldn't be messed around at meal times. If there are genuine reasons why children can't eat something, or if they do have particular likes or dislikes, I always take it into account, but at the end of the day I'm not going to stand cooking separate meals.

If you don't want to be messed around, don't let yourself be :thumbsup:

Pipsqueak
19-07-2010, 04:03 PM
But when I say she is fussy I mean NO sauces NO pies, NO tomato, NOT much veg, give her chocolate or chips and then she is happy

so if the child has drawn up the menu then there should be no complaints.
I don't run a cafe or nor am I a chef or restuarant, I will accomodate preferences and needs of course but I don't prepare several different meals or snacks.
If they don't like then don't eat it - go hungry.
sounds like you might need to get 'tough' with the child - if she is not willing to do the input, then you will serve up a meal that is acceptable, if she doesn't it then she goes hungry (but will have to sit to the table until everyone else has finished).

She has a CHOICE here - help plan her menu sensibly or get what she is given with no input
She has a further choice - eat it or go hungry

You have provided nutritious, wholesome food that is balanced - you cannot do any more than that.
Tell the parents what you are doing/trying and what the consquence will be if the child does not come round to this idea - ie/ she will go hungry and the parents will either have to supply her meals or feed her at home

breezy
19-07-2010, 04:06 PM
Here they eat it or go without, I get a list of genuine likes and dislikes from the parents and then its take it or leave it! They all eat eventually, once they know the wont get chocolate or nuggets instead.

I plan in advance if I can and prepare meals then freeze them so all I have to do is reheat.

However, if you're really not happy cooking then dont, theres no point if it doesnt fit in or you're not happy. Chat to mum too about what child eats at home.

claire'scherubs
19-07-2010, 04:16 PM
I was begining to think that nobody was going to say get tough. :panic: and maybe I was being too tough!!!!

Ok had a word with her and this is what mummy would cook on this day, tell me what you think, cause I think my leg is being pulled here

Monday, Spaghetti & Fishfinger
Tuesday, just vegetables
Wednesday, Pizza
Thursday Mashed potato, carrot and cucumber
Friday, fishfingers and chips

If this is really the case, then yes maybe I can do proper food for the other children, prepared in advance, like I want to, that way I can then concentrate on the baby when needed:clapping:

Pipsqueak
19-07-2010, 04:20 PM
Hmm, if that is what mum is cooking her (and I would check!) then mum perhaps needs to re examine this veggie eating. The child is 8 and needs a balanced diet and that to me does not appear to be balanced.


If you need to hear it one more time - get tough:D

claire'scherubs
19-07-2010, 04:24 PM
Hmm, if that is what mum is cooking her (and I would check!) then mum perhaps needs to re examine this veggie eating. The child is 8 and needs a balanced diet and that to me does not appear to be balanced.


If you need to hear it one more time - get tough:D

Totally agree!!!! Just a side note on this I used to have her 12 year old brother come and he used to beg me to serve him proper meat dishes (as he said) also is there any wonder that she comes to my house EVERY morning complaining of feeling sick and a tummy ache

AliceK
19-07-2010, 04:36 PM
so if the child has drawn up the menu then there should be no complaints.
I don't run a cafe or nor am I a chef or restuarant, I will accomodate preferences and needs of course but I don't prepare several different meals or snacks.
If they don't like then don't eat it - go hungry.
sounds like you might need to get 'tough' with the child - if she is not willing to do the input, then you will serve up a meal that is acceptable, if she doesn't it then she goes hungry (but will have to sit to the table until everyone else has finished).

She has a CHOICE here - help plan her menu sensibly or get what she is given with no input
She has a further choice - eat it or go hungry

You have provided nutritious, wholesome food that is balanced - you cannot do any more than that.
Tell the parents what you are doing/trying and what the consquence will be if the child does not come round to this idea - ie/ she will go hungry and the parents will either have to supply her meals or feed her at home

Agree with all of this :thumbsup:
Good luck, you need to get tough and make sure you get input from mum. It sounds like this child is trying it on.

xxxxx

claire'scherubs
19-07-2010, 05:08 PM
OMG!!!!!! Just spoken to Mum and that is really what she eats:o

AliceK
19-07-2010, 05:29 PM
OMG!!!!!! Just spoken to Mum and that is really what she eats:o

Oh dear :eek: . Well mum has got one spoilt child there then and mum needs educating.

xxx

Monkey26
19-07-2010, 06:58 PM
Every week!!!?? That’s just silly!

I only eat chicken, turkey and tuna - I genuinely don't like the taste of other meats (love the smell of bacon but get me to actually eat it and I am likely to be sick! haha!) but I am also very conscious that I need to get the nutrients into me and that I should set a good and balanced diet example to the children I mind. So, we all eat the above meats and then vegetarian versions of 'real' meat - parents are made aware of this when they ask me to provide meals and they are very happy with it (most believe their children should be bought up with a varied diet! :) )

Example of my menu includes (this week’s menu!):
Mon: Chicken pieces (real chicken!), new potatoes, carrots and sugarsnap
Tues: Spinach and ricotta pasta (the ready packs) - with or without sauce - I give the children a little pot of sauce each which makes them feel very grown up! 6 for dinner tomorrow so needs to be something quick and easy!
Wed: Veg sausages, mash and beans
Thurs: Fish fingers, potato wedges, peas and baby corn
Fri: Veg mince spaghetti bolognaise (with lots of chopped up veg!)

Maybe, as she is 8, you could take her to Tesco and really involve her in the whole buying, preparing, cooking and eating process?? And it sounds like she knows her mind so maybe you could go to the library or use the internet to show her about vegetarianism (did I just make that word up?!) and how there are meat alternatives out there??

Good luck!! xx

claire'scherubs
19-07-2010, 07:19 PM
Every week!!!?? That’s just silly!

I only eat chicken, turkey and tuna - I genuinely don't like the taste of other meats (love the smell of bacon but get me to actually eat it and I am likely to be sick! haha!) but I am also very conscious that I need to get the nutrients into me and that I should set a good and balanced diet example to the children I mind. So, we all eat the above meats and then vegetarian versions of 'real' meat - parents are made aware of this when they ask me to provide meals and they are very happy with it (most believe their children should be bought up with a varied diet! :) )

Example of my menu includes (this week’s menu!):
Mon: Chicken pieces (real chicken!), new potatoes, carrots and sugarsnap
Tues: Spinach and ricotta pasta (the ready packs) - with or without sauce - I give the children a little pot of sauce each which makes them feel very grown up! 6 for dinner tomorrow so needs to be something quick and easy!
Wed: Veg sausages, mash and beans
Thurs: Fish fingers, potato wedges, peas and baby corn
Fri: Veg mince spaghetti bolognaise (with lots of chopped up veg!)

Maybe, as she is 8, you could take her to Tesco and really involve her in the whole buying, preparing, cooking and eating process?? And it sounds like she knows her mind so maybe you could go to the library or use the internet to show her about vegetarianism (did I just make that word up?!) and how there are meat alternatives out there??

Good luck!! xx

I like your ideas and maybe in the summer holidays I could try it, at the mo though I know she won't eat sauces, but I can give it a go.

What does worry me is if any potential parent or even Ofsted saw what I was feeding her, I could be blamed for not giving balanced meals, but yes I will certainly do a week of 'food' xx

mushpea
19-07-2010, 07:35 PM
My son was an extremely fussy eater and wouldnt try new foods no matter what we did,, he even without any food one night and i mean dinner or any snacks in a bid to get him to eat shephereds pie which he had never eaten before, when he woke up the next day feeling very ill i vowed never to do this to him again.
Yes some kids are fussy and i have had my fair share but for some their aversion goes alot further,, my son has special needs and is being assesd for autsium at the moment,, he is 9.5yrs and i have know since a tiny baby somthing wasnt right,, anyway he now trys new things and ate courgette and liked it yesterday,, i nearly fell off my chair:laughing:
It could be that mum got stuck in a rut with her and so kept to the usual stuff so she hasnt tried new things in a while or it could be a genuine problem.
try putting her food she likes on her plate and a small bit of somthing new on her plate and see what happens, dont say anything about the new stuff unless she trys it then praise her.

over the hols why not do some pick and mix meals where you put lots of differnt foods ie pepper cucumber, lettuce, avacado different fruits etc along with wraps and stuff the other kids can eat and let them all try stuff, it may be if she sees the others trying she will to, also if she dosent even try suggest she smells the item and even kisses it, this is the way we got my son eating,, it sounds stupid but make a game of it, the idea is she gets the taste on her lips.
My son has tried more since watching things like Jamie Oliver and come dine with me so prehaps watching these programs or playing the come dine with me type game would help,,, please watch the programs first though if you do this one as some can have bad language.
its very frustrating having a fussy child but drawing attention to it does make it worse.
at the end of the day if it causes too much stress then you may be better to ask mum to provide her food.
good luck

funfunfun
19-07-2010, 07:37 PM
Ask mum for a pack lunch :)


all children get the same here :)

louise-marie
19-07-2010, 07:46 PM
Ok had a word with her and this is what mummy would cook on this day, tell me what you think, cause I think my leg is being pulled here

Monday, Spaghetti & Fishfinger
Tuesday, just vegetables
Wednesday, Pizza
Thursday Mashed potato, carrot and cucumber
Friday, fishfingers and chips

what a rubbish diet, no balance at all, it no wonder the child is fed up at tea time. i'd be sorely tempted to grill a hamburger! lol :laughing:

Stillgoingstrong
19-07-2010, 07:46 PM
Totally agree!!!! Just a side note on this I used to have her 12 year old brother come and he used to beg me to serve him proper meat dishes (as he said) also is there any wonder that she comes to my house EVERY morning complaining of feeling sick and a tummy ache

I have been a true vegetarian - NO meat, which is what vegetarian means, not "i'm a vegetarian but i eat chicken and fish" which is NOT a vegetarian -
all my life, as have my children who are now 22 and 20 and are still vegetarian. We are happy, healthy and very very rarely feel sick or have belly ache, and if we do its not because we dont eat dead decaying animals tbh. This Mum is being silly - why would some meat be off the menu if other meat isnt? If her child is allowed to eat a dead chicken or fish why not a cow or sheep? To me it makes no sense. If I were you I would tell Mum you will offer a snack/sandwich to keep her going but that she will have to eat anything other than that at home, and let Mum deal with her. Poor kid just sounds confused and is enjoying the attention by the sound of it.:thumbsup:
Oh and quorn is a great alternative to meat - sausages, burgers, mince etc
and is available in all supermarkets now. I bulk buy when things are on offer
as it can be expensive, but at least we eat a good diet - never just a plate of veg which really is not a nutritional meal to serve anyone, let alone a child.

little chickee
20-07-2010, 09:47 AM
I have been a true vegetarian - NO meat, which is what vegetarian means, not "i'm a vegetarian but i eat chicken and fish" which is NOT a vegetarian -
.

That is what i wanted to say! This child is NOT a vegetarian she is just fussy!

Monkey26
24-07-2010, 08:41 AM
I had another idea...
I used to nanny a very very bad eater especially when it came to fruits and vegetables so one day a week was set aside as "try it" day (it can be any day).
On this day, we would put a new fruit or vegetable on the dinner plate. The child had a chart with a picture of the food item plus the written name and then 5 boxes which were titled:
1. touched on the lips
2. licked
3. nibbled
4. bit and swallowed
5. i like this, i will it eat it more often :D
A smiley face sticker was put in the box with the date when the above was met for that day.
A very long and drawn out process with some failures (oh yes he did manage to 'choke' and be sick on one teeny tiny pea!) but also lots of successes (now eats most fruits, carrots, sweetcorn and brocolli!) and gradually you can increase the number of "try it" days with more fruit/veg being offered at each meal. I will try to see if i can find the chart - no promises though, this was several years ago! xx

sillysausage
24-07-2010, 10:58 AM
She wouldn't eat cheese on toast but does eat pizza:rolleyes:

Definitely just a very fussy child. With mums agreement I would get tough on her, but try and do it in a round about way. I like the idea of menu planning with her and also the 'try it day'.

I might steal the Come dine with me idea to try with my older mindees. I have one day a week in the hols when I have just 11 to 15 yr olds. This would be a great activity for them. We could have a lunchtime dinner party.

blue bear
25-07-2010, 08:09 PM
I had two children who only at something and chips - they were under 5's so easier to pursuade. I would put a tiny bit of veg/pasta etc on their plate if they ate that they could have the something and chips, then just the something once eating a full meal went on to put do-nuts in the middle of the table instead of the something and chips, same rule eat your dinner but if they did not eat dinner I ate the do-nut, I had to eat the do-nut once and so did mum but only once. Fantastic eaters now. Very tough love but had tried everything else.

Another child had a fear of food, over 8 and impossible to get to eat anything other than very limited diet, referred to a psycologist still an ongoing problem.