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View Full Version : Aaaarggh, parents!!



helendee
15-07-2010, 08:20 PM
I look after a lovely little boy who is 20 months old and has been walking for about eight months now, but he still doesn't have a pair of shoes. He always comes in just his socks which is starting to make life difficult for me. If we go outdoors anywhere I can't let him out of the pushchair to wander about because of the risk to his feet.

I mentioned this to his parents tonight and asked if there was any chance that they could provide something and his dad got really antsy with me and said that he was perfectly happy for his son to just wear his socks and he didn't wish to buy him shoes yet. Mum was very embarrassed and promised that they would sort it out soon but dad looked as if he wanted to kill us both, lol.

I tried to point out that as a childminder I have a duty of care to my charges and cannot act necessarily as a parent would.

Still leaves me in a quandry about what to do when we go out..... help !!!!!:angry:

TheBTeam
15-07-2010, 08:24 PM
Weird, normally I have the opposite problem of them insisting on shoes before the child is ready!

I am not sure what you can do to make the parents get shoes, but I would keep making sure they realise that you go out and will have no option but to leave their child sat in a buggy because in parks and outings he can not be allowed to walk around!

Mouse
15-07-2010, 08:30 PM
What do the parents do about letting him walk out of the house? Do they take him to the park, let him walk anywhere?

I'd be happy enough letting a child go without shoes on grass, but not on the pavements.

I think you'll just have to hope mum persuades dad to get some shoes.

rickysmiths
15-07-2010, 08:33 PM
Weird, normally I have the opposite problem of them insisting on shoes before the child is ready!

I am not sure what you can do to make the parents get shoes, but I would keep making sure they realise that you go out and will have no option but to leave their child sat in a buggy because in parks and outings he can not be allowed to walk around!

You beat me to it! I'm the same they are so keen to get shoes they do it far too early.

Do you have photos of similar age los in the park, on the swings and slide? I have an 18mth old and he walked to school for the first time as soon as the snow had cleared in the new year. He walks everywhere and has had shoes and wellies and now sandles for the summer. I can't imagine him not running around. To be honest I would be a bit annoyed if I had to carry or get this lo into a buggy just to cross the car park to get into toddlers-well I wouldn't do it.

I would be quite concerned and would want to have a meeting with the parents. I would be frank with them about it. Why is Dad so against shoes? I would want to know chapter and verse, Dads reasons and I would explain in detail the impact on my practice.

sarah707
15-07-2010, 08:37 PM
do you have any spare wellies knocking around?

I have a few pairs in different sizes for when the weather turns bad.

You could provide them as a way of evidencing using the garden every day :D

rickysmiths
15-07-2010, 08:38 PM
What do the parents do about letting him walk out of the house? Do they take him to the park, let him walk anywhere?

I'd be happy enough letting a child go without shoes on grass, but not on the pavements.

I think you'll just have to hope mum persuades dad to get some shoes.


I wouldn't at this time of year. The bees are very sleepy and are flying low to the ground. Hasn't happened to a mindee, but they wear wet shoes or shoes at all times. We had friends round on Sunday afternoon and the son was running around on the grass and in and out of the paddling pool in bare feet and stood on a bee. His parents are Bee Keepers and dealt with the sting instantly. He was given Anti Histamine but his foot was so swoolen and painful he was sent home from school on Monday and had 2 days off.

snufflepuff
15-07-2010, 08:50 PM
20 months old and no shoes.....how strange.
Good way to save money i suppose, kiddies shoes cost a bomb! :laughing:

Zoomie
15-07-2010, 08:54 PM
Can you get a pair of plimsolls small enough.

Don't cost too much :(

The Juggler
15-07-2010, 08:57 PM
do you have any spare wellies knocking around?

I have a few pairs in different sizes for when the weather turns bad.

You could provide them as a way of evidencing using the garden every day :D

was just going to say, buy the smallest pair of wellies you can find, won't support his walking/feet but will at least protect them from accidents. How's he going to learn to climb etc without properly fitting shoes. By 18 months he should be learning to climb slides/climbing frames - how can he do that in bare feet!

karensmart4
15-07-2010, 09:12 PM
My sister wouldn't allow her children to wear shoes until they had been walking for at least 6mths, she said it was for their feet to develop properly first!!!!!:(

Hebs
15-07-2010, 09:12 PM
Bare feet is best for learning to balance etc

But not very safe, buy him cheap pair of plimpsols x

crazyhazy
15-07-2010, 09:25 PM
was just going to say, buy the smallest pair of wellies you can find, won't support his walking/feet but will at least protect them from accidents. How's he going to learn to climb etc without properly fitting shoes. By 18 months he should be learning to climb slides/climbing frames - how can he do that in bare feet!

You've not met my girls! #1 always takes her shoes off, rarely wears them in our house and garden, she's 3.5yr. #2 is 21m and a bit better but both find it easier climbing bare foot, they have more grip with their toes. I'd never send them out barefoot but the parents are right to a certain extent that it's best. If you read some of the Montessori blogs they're very pro barefoot.

The Juggler
15-07-2010, 09:35 PM
You've not met my girls! #1 always takes her shoes off, rarely wears them in our house and garden, she's 3.5yr. #2 is 21m and a bit better but both find it easier climbing bare foot, they have more grip with their toes. I'd never send them out barefoot but the parents are right to a certain extent that it's best. If you read some of the Montessori blogs they're very pro barefoot.

I agree as my dd the same, never had a stitch on in garden and always barefoot, but not for mindees and not when in the park when you don't know what's on teh floor or if you want a tramp through the woods:(

Shirlwith3
16-07-2010, 04:40 AM
Very strange, i think when they do go to get shoes fitted they will have a child that will have a tantrum as when my dd was little she had to have special boots to support her ankles then when she was 2yrs old they said I could start to buy her normal shoes I had one problem when I took her as she had never been to a shoe shop to be fitted she would let the lady measure her feet it took me 3 trips to the shop to get to have her feet measured.

mushpea
16-07-2010, 06:03 AM
I wouldnt buy shoes or wellies for the child, why should we waste our money when the parents wont spend theirs!
I would take him outside and take lots of pictures of the others enjoying themselves but make sure he is in the back ground of the photo in the pushchair then you can show mum and dad that he is not able to join in the activities.

Hebs
16-07-2010, 06:18 AM
you can get plimpsols for £2 in asda, and put the cost through your book, not exactly breaking the bank is it?

Tribe_mummy
16-07-2010, 06:43 AM
If I can manage to get shoes on DD, I am very lucky!She is 20 months and very strong willed! However there is no way i would take her on outings park etc with no shoes on(you just don't know what or who has been there before, let alone looking out for the dreaded dog poo!) and she knows if she refuses to wear them she doesn't play, obviously this is different in your case. Do you do a news letter could you put something in that to the parents stating the need some form of footwear fot outings for Health and safety reasons?

Jac xx

mushpea
16-07-2010, 02:56 PM
you can get plimpsols for £2 in asda, and put the cost through your book, not exactly breaking the bank is it?

No its not but why we childminders pay for them,, its not breaking the parents bank either but they cant be bothered, you wouldnt expect a nursery to supply the childs shoes so why would you expect a childminder too

sorry hebs this isnt meant to get at yourself but at the parents,, i get so annoyed when kids turn up without stuff ,, parent turned up without any nappies or wipes and asked me if i could get some from the shop and put them on her bill!!! No i could not, i dont go near the shop all day

helendee
16-07-2010, 07:09 PM
Thanks guys for all your replies and advice. I am not going to buy shoes for him as a) I don't see why I should and b) Dad would probably have a head fit if he found out, lol.

I will point out to them next week that if they want me to take lo out and about they will need to supply me with appropriate footwear for health and safety reasons.

Rubybubbles
16-07-2010, 07:25 PM
I hae exactly the same problem at the moment:panic:

I don't mind lo walking around the garden as I can make sure it's safe, but going to parks and out for little walks is a no!

Saying that mine came in shoes that clearly were his brothers at one point:rolleyes: but at least we could get out the pushchair today!

onceinabluemoon
16-07-2010, 08:33 PM
If this was a child who wasn't to wear shoes for religious/cultural reasons we'd all be falling over ourselves to comply but because its a father who wants his child's feet to remain unchanged by shoes it's bizarre and wrong???

Young children's feet are made up of cartilage rather than bones and can be moulded and shaped by shoes. Birth through the toddler years is the most important time for their feet as this is when they start forming bones, it sounds to me as if this dad understands that and wants the best for his child. :)

However, I can imagine how this is inconveniencing you. Have you thought about asking for leather bottomed padders which do not shape the feet but will offer some protection when walking outdoors? Then all parties are happy :)

helendee
16-07-2010, 09:07 PM
If this was a child who wasn't to wear shoes for religious/cultural reasons we'd all be falling over ourselves to comply but because its a father who wants his child's feet to remain unchanged by shoes it's bizarre and wrong???

Young children's feet are made up of cartilage rather than bones and can be moulded and shaped by shoes. Birth through the toddler years is the most important time for their feet as this is when they start forming bones, it sounds to me as if this dad understands that and wants the best for his child. :)

However, I can imagine how this is inconveniencing you. Have you thought about asking for leather bottomed padders which do not shape the feet but will offer some protection when walking outdoors? Then all parties are happy :)

Bless you for your faith in the father's motive, but knowing the family as I do I think that it has more to do with saving a few pennies, lol. I never asked for them to buy him rigid leather shoes, merely something to protect his feet. Can you imagine what Ofsted would have to say if I let him out and about barefooted and he sustained an injury?!!!:eek:

onceinabluemoon
17-07-2010, 11:22 AM
Bless you for your faith in the father's motive, but knowing the family as I do I think that it has more to do with saving a few pennies, lol. I never asked for them to buy him rigid leather shoes, merely something to protect his feet. Can you imagine what Ofsted would have to say if I let him out and about barefooted and he sustained an injury?!!!:eek:

Sorry, :blush: I always try to see the best in people - it's no wonder I always get walked all over :(

In which case I'd give them a deadline, no foot protection by x date and I terminate...