Crying 18 month old... all day every day

[cbj1609]

:( I childmind an 18 month boy who just cries all the time. I have hugged, checked nappy, temperature. I have cared for him for the last few months and he was fine to begin with.
He was with a childminder previously who gave him up due to his crying. Dont know what to do with him as there is no comforting. I have spoken to his parents and they just say ahh its just him being precious...I care for 2 others as well and dont want them to be affected. Not sure what to do as not sure if its too early to ask him not to come. Any suggestions?? Thank You.

[sarah707]

It can be very hard with children who cry all the time.

I had a screamer - all day every day for about 3 months then suddenly one day he stopped and pottered off to play!!

Sometimes it can be worth persevering but only you know your tolerance levels.

Try him with something belonging to mum ... he might think she's not coming back.

Perhaps a comfort teddy he can have as soon as he walks in might help or a little basket with some special toys from home if you explain to the other children they are special to him.

If you feel the child would be better elsewhere then you need to be honest with the parents.

Hugs xx

[chibault]

That's a tough one! I've never dealt with a child like this, but I believe they think that because things are out of sight they don't exsist anymore, hence the crying. You could try a couple of things like having a few big pictures of the child's parents' faces, plus siblings, gran/dad around to look at. Also I'm sure you're already saying mummy and daddy will be coming back. Could you ask the parents to play peek a boo with the child and they move completely out of sight, then return and give big hugs and play with baby. Build this up for longer and longer periods so baby starts to understand they are coming back, then when they drop off at yours play peekaboo then a few times?

As I say, I've never dealt with this, but I would experiment with this if I was in your situation.

Hope it works out for you!
Becky

[christine e]

Over the years I have only had two really bad screamers. One was over ten years ago and the second a couple of years ago. The first one would settle if I put on a teletubbies video that he brought from home (didn't really like sitting a 9 month old in front of tv but mum suggested it and it did help). The second one only came to me one morning a week so we increased in to two mornings but it was still the same, my dad died around this time so I was not feeling good, we broke up for Xmas and child did not come for a few weeks and I was not looking forward to return (had found Xmas very difficult due to my dad dieing) but she came back and settled straight away! She has been with me nearly two years and is due to move on to nursery in a few weeks and I am really going to miss her - she is a lovely confident chatty individual!

Cx

[blue bear]

what is giong on at home? does he cry all the time? does he get carried around? I had one like this after talking to mum it came out that dad had lo on sundays and carried her all the time even to the point of not going to the toilet because she would not let him!

Encourage parents to write in diary what his day is like, lots of detail. Then work out what is different to your house, I started off carrying her alot then bringing it down bit by bit and so did dad, she's fantastic now. took a few months to sort out though.

[Ripeberry]

That's a good idea about doing a 'Home diary' :thumbsup:

[marnieb]

My mindee used to cry all the time as well - the tiniest thing would set her off, and it used to be so draining for me to constantly be calming her down. This was from about 18 months as well. I realisied it was because she wasn't talking at all and she was frustrated at not being able to communicate with me. I spent ages just teaching her to nod and shake her head for yes and no, and eventually it worked.

[cuffleygirl]

I have just gone through this - should would cry unless I held her and then it to be standing up, if I sat cuddling her on my lap to rest my legs she protested. Frankly, I would end up completely frazzled, it's so frustrating trying find the cure and the reason! Dad would collect and I'd tell him he'd say 'yes' - I often wonder if he is on the same planet (another story), don't usually see mum but when I did...

She said she had taken lo to the doctors 'cos her crying had got to her too, poo's had always been a problem too - Dad always said 'teeth' - and tapped his to be sure I understood! Turns out she has a diary intolerance which is being cared for and the difference is huge - she is a happy lo now.

[igglepiggle]

I really feel your pain - I had a little girl like this and then as soon as she had given up crying a little boy started who was the same!!! It's so hard and so exhausting and sometimes there doesn't seem to be any reason for it. I'm not saying I have all the answers but a couple of things that worked for me were to ask parents to bring some family photos that I mounted and displayed on a washing line in the playroom for comfort. Now that they're completly settled I've formed these photos into books using ribbon so that they can look at them at 'tricky' times. I think Sarah's also mentioned bringing in something that belongs to mum - my little ones brought a blanket and a cardi with some of mummy's perfume on. We played lots of games of peek a boo and also found that the calminf influence of Baby Einstein really helped at very tricky times - especially to calm the others down if they then got a bit worked up. We also sometimes turned out the lights, put on our strung lanterns and fairy lights and blew bubbles to calm them down. Their parents were generally fab and really open to working together to help their children. I searched the web on separation anxiety and compiled some info for the parents to take home with ideas on that we could both do. I've attached it. Keep smiling and deep breathing (ha!) I really hope things work out for you. Lots of love xx

[sarah707]

I searched the web on separation anxiety and compiled some info for the parents to take home with ideas on that we could both do. I've attached it. Keep smiling and deep breathing (ha!) I really hope things work out for you. Lots of love xx

That is a lovely document. Thank you for sharing :D

Cbj I hope the worst is over for you!

[tashaleee]

Igglepiggle - thank you for the document - made an interesting quick read (will have a proper look tonight) :)

[miffy]

Thanks for sharing that Igglepiggle

cbj - I think you need parent's help and support here to work out if he is behaving differently at your house to home - the home diary is a great idea. Hope things settle for you soon

Miffy xx