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ourmadhouse
09-07-2010, 06:06 PM
I have a four and a half year old been with me a couple of months now and has a difficult background.
I also have three of my own, 20 months, four and ten years old my monster 20 month old is going through the biting stage (iv noted when she does it and I think its done out of frustration due to not talking much so im now working with her on her language) she has bitten my minded child and my son and pointed out to the parent that the biting is not just aimed at her child.

thing is, as young children do, they all bicker over one thing or another. i tell mum the major things that have happened that day ie child has been bitten, child ran off while out and never listened when asked to stop (in the park ect)

do you tell you parent all the 'naughty' things the child has done that day or do you just mention all the 'major' things or things they keep doing a number of times when you have asked them not to and explained to them why ect

mum said to me tonight after i told her some of the things minded child has been doing of late and she said i think his is behaving like this (making things up to get others into trouble) because your children are jealous of my child.

Iv not told mum all the little bickering things (not sharing, or being a little crafty with others to get what he wants, normally with my younger one ) as she has been having a hard time, but after seeing him try and get others into trouble today i told mum.

yes i can accept that maybe some of my children need to learn to share me, and im unlucky to have a biter all of my own but surely this is not unheard of for an 18 month old?

Any pointers or advice welcolm.

ourmadhouse
09-07-2010, 06:18 PM
Just got a text from mum saying that she has lost her copy of her contract and can i send her an email copy.

Place your bets now as to if child will stay or leave
Must say i dont have a good feeling :(

FussyElmo
09-07-2010, 06:59 PM
Hard one really especially if Mum has taken it that its her child being blamed - I know you probably didn't mean for it to come across like this but if Mum is going through a rough time then she is probably more sensitive.

No I dont tell the mum eevrything that has happened in the day especially if it has been dealt with and forgotten. Any biting/accident incident yes because I want them to sign the book. I always think if a situation has been dealt with you are only raking up something and if the child gets it off mum then they wont really know what they have done.

Hope Mum doesnt cancel contract maybe a clear the air talk will help :thumbsup:

ourmadhouse
09-07-2010, 07:09 PM
all accidents and incidents are recorded and mum gets a copy after signing. it was more the tittle tattle and i feel the same as you. its delt with and then forgotten.
a valid point about mum may feel like he is being blamed
did send a text back asking if everything was alright and would she like me to give her a bell.
'Just wanted to have a read of it'

I have a feeling my notice will come in the form of a email :(

ourmadhouse
09-07-2010, 08:47 PM
ok after some thought (and id like your thoughts and feelings too) im thinking of sending my youngest to my old childminders, some time for her from me will do her good?
i will not be sending her every day, maybe once or twice a day each week and still keep her with me for some of the days i mind.
both my other children had to leave me young due to the job i did but i do see the benefit for my youngest to be with others insted of only ever me, agree???

little chickee
10-07-2010, 11:08 AM
I do not really tell parents about the childs "bad" behaviour unless its a real biggy - like a biting incident or if a child is regularly displaying violent behaviour.

I think that anything that happens at my house is dealt with at my house and would only tell the parent if i felt that the child was paying no attention to what i was saying and the behaviour was failing to improve.

In regard to sending your child to a cm i personally would not do this. For me it defeats the whole perpose for me of being at home. I wonder if your child (who is still very young) might struggle to understand why they are being "sent away".

miffy
10-07-2010, 07:13 PM
Hard one really especially if Mum has taken it that its her child being blamed - I know you probably didn't mean for it to come across like this but if Mum is going through a rough time then she is probably more sensitive.

No I dont tell the mum eevrything that has happened in the day especially if it has been dealt with and forgotten. Any biting/accident incident yes because I want them to sign the book. I always think if a situation has been dealt with you are only raking up something and if the child gets it off mum then they wont really know what they have done.

Hope Mum doesnt cancel contract maybe a clear the air talk will help :thumbsup:

I agree with Fussy, it's perhaps come over very negative to mum.

I think you might need to have another chat with her next week and see if you can come up with something together about how you will deal with her ds's behaviour.

Miffy xx

AliceK
11-07-2010, 11:15 AM
I do not really tell parents about the childs "bad" behaviour unless its a real biggy - like a biting incident or if a child is regularly displaying violent behaviour.

I think that anything that happens at my house is dealt with at my house and would only tell the parent if i felt that the child was paying no attention to what i was saying and the behaviour was failing to improve.
In regard to sending your child to a cm i personally would not do this. For me it defeats the whole perpose for me of being at home. I wonder if your child (who is still very young) might struggle to understand why they are being "sent away".

Same here. If it's a biggie or if I'm concerned over a childs behaviour I would tell the parents but if I told them everything about every little incident that took place evry day I'd be there all day most days. In my experience it takes a while of being consistent and re-enforcing a message to get it accross to a young child but persistence does pay off. As a parent I wouldn't want to be told of all the little things my children had done / not done but if it was something big and/or important then I would def want to know.

xxxxx