View Full Version : Feeling very sorry for my daughter

29-06-2010, 07:37 AM
I look after a child A till (4yrs) 15.30 and pick up another child B (5 yrs) from school and look after them until 6pm. Well yesterday i was looking after child A until 16.30. this is the first time child A & B have properly played together

So all children were playing in the garden when my daughter became abit bossy about whos turn it was to jump on the trampoline, so i called her in and asked her to help me.

Well to cut along story short, Child A and Child B started to ignore her, when she spoke to them they didnt answer so she got upset, then when she went to play on somthing they were playing with i.e the slide they walked away and played with something else and repeated did this. The final straw was when child A & B were outside playing my daughter went to join them and they walked back in the house. :angry:

I spoke to child A and asked him why they came back in the house, he said because my daughter went out there and they dont want to play with her and that they werent talking to her. At this point my daughter was sobbing.

I spoke to the children through out the time they were here, i also spoke to both mums, one was mortified that their child behaved in such a way. Child B even told me that she was upset becasue she had been really mean to my daughter.

Im not an over protective mum who thinks her daughter is an angel!! when she does somthing to upset the mindees sheis dealt with! but there was nothing that she did yesterday to warrent this bullying behaviour.

This is the first time since starting to mind that this has had a negative impact on my daughter and i just feel realy bad that this happened to her in her own home. :( :(

sorry for the long thread but just feeling abit down today.

29-06-2010, 07:45 AM
It happens so please don't beat yourself up. It sounds like you dealt with it all brilliantly and it sounds like that all concerned (children) may have realised that it went a bit too far.
Perhaps some PSED topics and conflict resolution work is the way forward. Nothing too in your face - they are only young and learning to work things out together.

Its horrid when it happens to our LO's in their own home but you can move forward with this. Sending you a huggy - chin up, today is a new day.xxx

29-06-2010, 09:35 AM
oh no! i think this would really upset me too, its hard when its your own lo's isnt it. your little one will larn to be more resilliant which wll only help her in the future. chin up hun

29-06-2010, 10:04 AM
I've had this and like you found it upsetting.My DD can also become bossy and this has resulted in the same problems.
I discussed with my DD ( when mindees gone) about the consequenses of her bossiness and how she was left feeling.
Next time mindee came i explained how their actions had upset my DD and whilst I knew there would sometimes be times they didn't want to play together this had to be said nicely and explained why.I wouldn't put up with someone being given the silent treatment or being ignored.

Both children agreed with what was being said.There have been other issues and i find talking things through often helps sort the situation.

Don't beat yourself up though.Kids forget about things quicker than us and if you let it bother you you will prob find your the only one worrying while the kis are off playing lol.