18-06-2010, 06:19 PM
Hi guys,

just need a moan and a little advice please. ive been minding 2yr boy and 7yr boy from the same family for 4months now, ive had problems from the beginning i.e. paying late, collecting late, not sending packed lunch for school, never provided nappies (despite numerous requests) sending children dirty.

Well today mom bought 7yr old in shorts and t-shirts and without a coat (its been raining here all day), mentioned to mom its cold and raining and asked if she copuld pop back home and get him trousers and a coat the reply was NO! I dont drive so had to do both school runs in a taxi to stop the lo getting wet/cold. during the day i typed up a letter just listing the things the children need to be provided with (coat in cold weather, nappies, wipes, lunch for school etc). Handed it to mom at collection and she just started SREAMING AND SHOUTING at me, telling me not to tell her how to bring up her children (in front of them):( I tried to calm her down and explain myself but that just made her worse, she walked out the door saying shes terminating the contact.

im sitting here crying, wondering what to do about the situation, i dont mind losing the contract although i would be sad to see the boys go because they are a pleasure to mind. What would you do next?

18-06-2010, 06:21 PM
this is a safeguarding issue you should have been writing it all down its neglect...

18-06-2010, 06:24 PM
i think she has a guilty conscience :rolleyes:

but you have nothing to feel bad about this is her problems not your, you got a taxi for them i wouldnt of done that:panic: :panic:

i think she owes you and apology:angry: :angry:

write everything down :thumbsup:

big hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

18-06-2010, 06:34 PM
Sounds like you'd be better off without her.

Maybe write her a letter telling her that if she wants to end the contract thats fine but if she wishes to continue with you providing care the boys need certain things and another outburst from her and you'll terminate. I'd also add the taxi fares onto the invoice.

Its a basic need of theirs and she's not meeting it, I'd also note everything down from a safeguarding point of view.

Hope you feel better soon, xx

jo f
18-06-2010, 06:39 PM
Oh hon I hope u are ok. I would have done exactly the same, things like that are stated in the NCMA contracts and you are just re stating that.
I too don't drive and some parents don't always bring coats but thankful that a quick reminder verbally and jotted in the daily diary sorts things.
Hope things are ok x

18-06-2010, 06:42 PM
What would you do next?

Within minutes of her leaving I'd have written out a termination letter, complete with fees owed up to termination date, as per contract, and hand delivered it even if I had to walk miles to do so! How dare she speak to you like that, I'd be fuming :angry: I'd write everything up as an incident and think about maybe informing Ofsted just in case she thinks of making a complaint. You have nothing to feel bad about here, I certainly wouldn't have been paying for taxi's.


Carol M
18-06-2010, 06:51 PM
Oh, not nice for you.
You did the right thing.
Mother sounds awful, accept her notice, ask for it in writing and bill her for the notice period, as long as you can offer care. Insist for adequate clothing etc to be sent . She may not want to send her child for the notice period but she still owes you.
Chin up
Carol x

18-06-2010, 06:55 PM
thanks for the advice guys, ive been keeping recoerds of all (theres been quite a few) safeguarding issues since i started mnding. Thanks merry i was thinking of just terminating the contract myself, do i have to put a reason on the letter or just give notice? i HATE confrontation so really worried about seeing her again:mad: :panic: :angry: :blush:

The Juggler
18-06-2010, 07:03 PM
that sounds awful hon. sending a very large hug.

how dare she:angry: :angry: I must admit you are better than me, I wouldn't have got a taxi, I'd have put on one of my coats on him if I had to and the legs would have had to got wet and be dried at school.

I would write a letter accepting her termination and telling her how upset you were at her outburst when you trying to remain professional and care for her son, worried he would get cold and wet.

Prepare the invoice and add on the taxi fees.:angry:

18-06-2010, 07:10 PM
do i have to put a reason on the letter or just give notice?

You don't need to put a reason in writing, though she'd have to be pretty stupid not to know exactly why you were terminating! I hate confrontation too, and the one time I terminated a contract (due to the child's behaviour and total lack of support from parent in dealing with it) I felt sick doing it. It was very hard and many nights I cried after they'd gone, but the relief when they left on the last day was well worth every tear and shredded nerve. If she continues to be abusive then you'd have every right to terminate without notice.


18-06-2010, 07:18 PM
thanks for the advice guys, ive been keeping recoerds of all (theres been quite a few) safeguarding issues since i started mnding. Thanks merry i was thinking of just terminating the contract myself, do i have to put a reason on the letter or just give notice? i HATE confrontation so really worried about seeing her again:mad: :panic: :angry: :blush:

I would pass it on to the safeguarding team/ Social services as it is neglect. As long as you have written everything down you will be fine if their is any complaint made to ofsted but i really don't think she would do that as she's opening her own can of worms if you see what i mean!

18-06-2010, 07:25 PM
Thanks Monkey, think i will contact my network co-ordinator and see what he thinks about referring them (hes aware of situation), i think it will play on my mind if i dont refer, especially if they never come back.
Not worried about mom complaining, really dont think se would and i have copies of all letters and notes of all conversations anyway :crying:

18-06-2010, 08:42 PM
No more advice, just a hug, some parents have no idea how to be reasonable.

19-06-2010, 06:48 AM
Definatley a safeguarding issue, don't take ot personally. Her reaction is very strange. I had a sitaution not the same but where a parent reacted over the top (can't go into to details) and I rang Socail servicies. They sent the health visitor round for an "unanounced routine visit". I had to give my name to socail services but they kept it confidential and the health visitor never mentioned anything to them about my concern.

19-06-2010, 07:39 AM
Oh blimey! I guess this is what your other thread is about?

Parent was well out of order but maybe, like Trouble said, that is because she feels guilty.

There's no way I would have paid for a taxi - an umbrella would have had to do and as for providing nappies :rolleyes: I think this parent has been taking you for a mug.

I know you're upset now but you're better off without them. It's horrible to be treated that way so write and accept her notice - you don't need to have it in writing from her, you can accept verbal notice as long as you confirm in writing to the parent.

Sending hugs and hope you get some nicer parents soon.

Miffy xx