PDA

View Full Version : feeling Sad



sophiemarie
05-06-2010, 09:42 AM
Hi all just sitting here feeling a bit sad I have decided to give up childminding I resistered in March and I have been looking after two lovely children with lovely parents, spent loads of money on resources and time on paper work but it just not working for me and my family i feel like I never get a break as I am always doing paper work or getting ready for the next week at the week end and my children just want to come in a chill after school and are really demanding when the other children go home wanting my attention (I completley understand this). This half term was so hard trying to keep everyone happy. I want to thank everyone on this site who has given me advice as it has been a great support :) :( :)

Curly Quavers
05-06-2010, 09:51 AM
are you 100% sure?

things do calm down a lot after the first while I know I was like you to start with I could never switch off always thinking about what I needed to do next and planning planning planning. But is does get better.

Hugs from me and hope you find what your looking for xxxx

PixiePetal
05-06-2010, 09:56 AM
So sorry you are feeling like this at the moment.

Is there a way you can cut down or consider term time only mindees? It is still early days for you and it does take time to settle down and find a way to work for you and your family. I have always given myself a day off in the week and worked term time only when my children were younger. This worked for me - I just advertised the times I wanted.

Now mine are teens and DD is doing GCSEs. I don't do after schoolies and finish by 6 at the latest - some days 4.45. If anyone phones and wants my day off - Friday - I just say NO, I am unavailable then. Look at ways to cut the paperwork too - we don't all have to be outstanding and have everything in paperwork, if you are covering the requirements, that is fine too if it gives your time back. The main thing is to get your job to fit your family life and pick and choose if you have to.

If you still decide to give it up, I wish you all the best and at least you have given it a go.

Toothfairy
05-06-2010, 10:46 AM
Sorry you are feeling sad.

It is hard at first and takes a bit of time for everyone to get into a routine.
You need to do what is best for you and your family but I suggest that you keep you registration open incase you want to come back to it.

Good luck in whatever you choose to do :thumbsup:

Nadine Beazley
05-06-2010, 10:59 AM
i understand how you feel, have felt that way so many times. This is the very reason why the EYFS does not work in a home environment, we have no time to shut off and are always thinking of something to do with childminding!!!!
I also agree with pixiepetal, try just doing the minimum paperwork. It does take time for your own children to adjust to minding and it really hasn't been that long for you.
I'm not trying to change your decision, just saying give yourself, and your children, time to adjust. Maybe through the summer just try lessening your paperwork, talk to your children about you being able to be at home with them instead of out of the house to work and then make your decision.
Sending you :group hug:
Nadine x

lou lou
05-06-2010, 11:36 AM
i know how you feel i found it very difficult at times and my daughter could be hard work sometimes when the children came but now she has settled down a lot and actually enjoys there company and as for paper work i have simplified my a lot as it use to stress me out so i might not get outstanding with my next inspection but that is not what i am looking for, as long as the children are happy and the parents are happy and i get to spend every day with my daughter and that is what really counts for me and the children i look after dont want to go home at night so that must count for something. So sometimes you have to take a step back and ask yourself what you really want and if it is just not for you then i wish you luck with your future.

dawn37
05-06-2010, 12:15 PM
Just wanted to give you a big hug , I don't officially start work until Tuesday but you seem so sad, I'm sure the others are right in saying cut down some of your hours & get yourself & family adjusted slower & then see if you want to take on more, its such hard going to get registered in the 1st place, you deserve to give it an extra chance to make it work for you
:group hug:

Dawn xx

moljak
05-06-2010, 12:44 PM
Have a hug!
I gave up minding in 2004 as it impacted big style on my family life.My husband hated the kids being around.My Dd didn't like sharing me and played up massively.
This time round I have 1 7mth baby 8.15am - 2.15pm 4 days per week .I only work term time.Did think of working holidays but as we've had 2 spur of the moment fantastic days out this half term I won't be working holidays at all.These are family time.I won't work after 5pm either.I'm going into it gradually and being picky about the children I take on.
The way I see it is that it has to work for both my family and mindees.
Think hard about giving up completely.Maybe there is a way to find a happy medium.Good luck.

francinejayne
05-06-2010, 03:00 PM
Look at ways to cut the paperwork too - we don't all have to be outstanding and have everything in paperwork, if you are covering the requirements, that is fine too if it gives your time back. The main thing is to get your job to fit your family life and pick and choose if you have to.

That's brilliant advice that I am going to take - thanks!! :thumbsup:

Maybe if you have a re-think if you could cut back a little then it might be easier? If you do give up I assume you'll have to get a job working for someone else, which is also very demanding when you have a family - I found that when I was working, I'd finish work and rush to pick the children up, get home, plonk them in front of the TV while I cooked tea, we'd eat tea, do homework, bath, story and bed for the kiddies, washing up and getting things ready for tomorrow for me! Then half an hour of relaxation before I collapsed with exhaustion!! In my opinion, in the week evenings I didn't have much quality time with my family, especially when you throw all the after school activities into the equation too and consider yourself a part time taxi driver too!!

Maybe the grass isn't always greener?

Big hugs whatever you decide to do.

xxx

wellybelly
05-06-2010, 03:51 PM
School holidays can be terrible - it's constant children, lots of them all demanding something to do and to be fed. Ask my husband, I always want to give up childminding after any of the school holidays. Perhaps give your self a couple more weeks to be 100 % sure.

miffy
05-06-2010, 04:02 PM
Sorry you're feeling sad.

As already said could you cut down the number of days you work or just do term-time only? Sometimes it's just finding out what could work for you - when my children were little that was finishing earlier and not looking after anyone older than them.

Unless you aren't going to work at all there are compromises with any job - if your children are old enough then perhaps you could talk with them about what they would like. If you work outside the home would they prefer that if they had to go to some sort of childcare themselves?

Just take some time to look at all the options first. Good luck whatever you decide

Miffy xx

Shar
05-06-2010, 04:04 PM
I know how you are feeling. There was a time when I had 6 kids in the school holidays and dreaded the doorbell ringing in the morning! Now most of my mindees are term time only and only have 3 in the holidays, I look forward to great days out with them and my childminder friends. Without the support and company of my friends I would have given up years ago.

Good luck whatever you decide, It does get easier as your children get older.

mushpea
05-06-2010, 04:20 PM
I gave up in 2002 for the very same reasons then restarted 3yrs ago and have never looked back, i am loving it.
I have learnt to do paper work when the children are playing happily on their own, all children need time to learn to play without adult intervension and i need time with my own family at the weekend so my comprimise is doing the paper work during free play in the week,
I tell my children , who do get fedup with mindees being here somtimes, that if i didnt childmind then i would have to leave them with another minder meaning that they wouldnt be able to choose what we do in the hols,they woldnt have their home and toys to come home to and they sort of accept this and prefer it this way.
How about picking and choosing hours you work and as others have said not work in the hols, there are parents out there who only want term time only , i have 4 children that are like this and i end up with only 2 mindees in the hols which is lovley.
if you decide to stop dont hand over your registration straight away, treat it as a break then take time out to decide what you really want cus its hard re registering again.

Mookins
05-06-2010, 08:37 PM
i cant give any advise but send you big hugs

x x x x

sophiemarie
06-06-2010, 08:06 AM
Thank You what a great support you have all been. XXXXXXXXXXXX

The Juggler
06-06-2010, 10:55 AM
sorry to hear that hon. hope whatever you decide to do works out.x

karen m
06-06-2010, 05:34 PM
it really is early days, i find that the paperwork takes most time so like someone else said just do enough for a satisfactory,maybe then if you carry on sometime down the line when your lo is older do more but satisfactory means your doing what is expected

chibault
06-06-2010, 11:05 PM
Why don't you take a break to consider if giving up is the right thing to do...

You could babysit some evenings for parents who want the piece of mind they have a childminder looking after their kids when they go out, or offer some overnight care which wouldn't impact as much on your family life.

Follow your instinct, it will always be right.:thumbsup:

huggableshelly
07-06-2010, 04:48 AM
its ok for the afterschoolies to just come home and chill, you do not have to be constantly on your feet and active.

most days now the mindees take it in turns to chose a dvd, half the time they only watch it for 20 mins then wonder off to the garden, craft table or start getting toys out, it isnt often at all that they sit and watch a whole film but I find it easier to let them have a choice to chill or play rather than say no to tv.

School hols, yep they can be hard and take their toll on my family but its only every 6 wks not constant.

try sticking with it for a little while longer, get through the summer hols then decide if to give it up or keep on going.

cuffleygirl
07-06-2010, 06:24 AM
There is a little bit of a thread here - paperwork stress is not worth the word Outstanding if it means it is taking its toll on you and your family. Of course it's an excellent achievement not knocking that but outstanding childcare is what we want not outstanding paperwork.

Keep your registration open shame to let that lapse after the effort - do what suits you and yours term time, after school, not after school - put yourself first!

Take care

angeldelight
07-06-2010, 06:37 AM
Take care Sophie you have to do what you feel is right for you and your family

Stay in touch with us though

Angel xx