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terrydoo73
03-06-2010, 10:08 AM
Is it just me or does this happen to anyone else?

I have twin boys who come to me at 8 and stay until 6 every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Mum always sends a cereal for them to eat around 10 with a piece of fruit then they have a hot meal when they awake from sleep at about 2/3 pm. I would also give them grapes and raisins at around 5 and they will go home to a cooked dinner in the evening.

Mum always reassures me that they eat the food I am given at home no problems and in fact they will look for more but I cannot get them to eat at mine. I put them up specially this morning for their cereal, heating the milk as requested by mum and all they did was look at it, then slop their fingers through the bowl and start spreading it over the table. I try to remain calm when this happens hoping they will not refuse to eat anything more but they just sit there and look at me - when I try and put a spoonful in their mouths they turn the head away. I have just given up very quickly and put them down from the table hoping they will be hungrier the next time.

Is this normal behaviour? I had to ask mum to stop sending dinner in the evening as they were not eating at all well with me - personally I felt it was just too much food (they are 2 years and 2 months old) with the timings of sleep and waiting until they were up for at least 1 hour afterwards to get a bit of hunger going.

Has anyone any suggestions as to what I could give them to eat or suggest to mum to help them eat at mine which is sufficient and filling if you know what I mean. I know mum thinks it is ridiculous that when they come home to her in the evenings that they would eat the hand of her but what I can I really do about it.

The other thing which I have noticed and have pointed out to mum but she thinks it is too much hassle is what she sends - it is the same every day for those 3 days in the week ie noodles this week for the 3 days and last week it was sausages with beans for 3 days. I have asked her to maybe do noodles one day, then sausages the next and then something else another day but she cannot see that this would make a difference or else just thinks that is too much hard work to think through an actual menu plan.

snufflepuff
03-06-2010, 10:23 AM
How about offering to do meals for them for an extra fee? Then you can vary what they are being given. Perhaps make very small portions to begin with so that theres not too much waste if they wont eat it. Eventually you will get to know what they like.
Otherwise theres not much you can do, if they dont want to eat they just wont, you cant force them. sounds like you are doing the right thing by not making a fuss and just getting them down from the table.

sweets
03-06-2010, 10:37 AM
i find it a bit odd really! why at 2 years old arent they on proper meal times?

it must be very tying for you to have to give them cereal al 10 am, and then sleep till mid afternoon, when do you have chance to take them out to parks and groups etc?

i would give them there cereal between 8 and 9, then an early lunch and down to sleep for the afternnon and a snack about 4 ish.

at 2 they should be able to manage to get through the morn without a sleep but if they cant then just let them have a 30min nap early on then a longer sleep in the afternoon.

terrydoo73
03-06-2010, 10:48 AM
You see I have been following mums pattern at home and I think it is because they are not up normally on the days not with me until 10 am!! Yes I would love to take them out and I keep hoping that by September they could do without this sleep until afternoon as I want to go to toddlers etc to give them a few socialising skills! Also when they sleep with mum it is like up to 3 hours!! If I can get 1 hour I am doing extremely well. Usually by the time they awaken I have just got lunch over for self and other mindee and have to start to make theirs - noodles are quick to make but I usually let them run around until it is made!! I have found too that if I feed them when they wake up they will not eat so by trial and experiment I have found leaving them until 2 they will eat better but I guess I should really try and get them into eating alongside us and maybe putting back their sleep time until after lunch??

Today for example they have gone down at 11.30 as I felt they were extremely tired and they will more than likely be up by 1 at the latest. Of course what I do today will be different tomorrow as are back with mum and she will let them lie on until 10 am!!

sweets
03-06-2010, 11:01 AM
i would have a meeting with mum and explain that their routine messes everyone elses up, explain to her that you want to take them to toddler groups etc to socialise and meet others as its what they need.

i have a LO (20 months) 3 days a week and her routine at home is completely different to mine but she adapts to both very easily.

Millenium
03-06-2010, 12:08 PM
Apart from my youngest mindee, the older ones (20 months and 30 months) follow my routine and the parents of both are quite happy with that. They both arrive at 8.00am and have had their breakfast by 8.30. They then have their main meal at 12.15 approx and go for their sleep around 1.00pm for about 2 hours and will have something like yoghurt later in the afternoon if they want it before going home for tea.

With them both following the same routine, it makes things straight forward in that they eat together and go off to sleep together. How much longer the older one will want a sleep though remains to be seen although the parents are adamant they do want the child to have one good sleep and then they are not too tired when they get them home.

caz3007
03-06-2010, 01:28 PM
Surely if they dont normally get up until 10 but then the days they come to you the must be up by about 7.30, it puts their whole day 2 1/2 hours out. Surely they would be starving for their breakfast by 10am. Perhaps you need to explain to mum that their routine on days they come to you for this reason is totally different to the days at home.

Personally I would adjust it to suit you, perhaps a little at a time, you may find then they eat better, they are probably past being hungry.

Helen79
03-06-2010, 06:16 PM
Is she giving them breakfast before they come to you on those days & then having an extra breakfast or do they have to wait until 10am for breakfast when they've been up so long already?

I try to keep to parent's routines as much as possible but mealtimes are at set times here. 7.30am breakfast, 12pm for lunch, 5pm for dinner. Obviously if a mindee is asleep during a meal then they have theirs when they wake up but I wouldn't cook them anything different, they'd just have whatever everyone else had.
All my mindees have a different routine here to at home and they always adjust well.

maybe suggest to mum they have a snack at 10am instead of breakfast if they're not fussed about the cereal.

By 2 years old I would expect a child to be out of 'baby' routines like having meals at different times and be able to adapt to eating at different times.

Helen79
03-06-2010, 06:22 PM
also if they've been up 3 hours earlier, maybe they're just too tired to eat by 10am and need an earlier sleep than they would at home.

& now it's getting warmer they might not fancy warm soggy cereal (even though I'm sure you make it lovely :D ) and maybe a cold yogurt and apple dips might be more appealing to them.

SYLVIA
03-06-2010, 08:05 PM
Sound a bit like their rountine hasn't changed as they have got older. Do they go to bed late. This throws everything out of line, I find.

terrydoo73
04-06-2010, 07:04 AM
I am under the impression that each child is given a bottle of milk while being dressed in the morning - I just think this lying in the tummy is bound to make them full without the need for breakfast! Also I discovered yesterday after putting them up for breakfast and lunch and they didn't eat that they did massive poos later on - due to eating lasagne for dinner on Wednesday night!! That is what was working on them - nice to be told after the day is over!!

The Juggler
04-06-2010, 07:19 AM
i find it a bit odd really! why at 2 years old arent they on proper meal times?

it must be very tying for you to have to give them cereal al 10 am, and then sleep till mid afternoon, when do you have chance to take them out to parks and groups etc?

i would give them there cereal between 8 and 9, then an early lunch and down to sleep for the afternnon and a snack about 4 ish.

at 2 they should be able to manage to get through the morn without a sleep but if they cant then just let them have a 30min nap early on then a longer sleep in the afternoon.

I agree, if they are not eating breakfast at yours until 10 my guess is they are having lots of milk or something else at home to keep them going - no surprise they don't want their 'slops'.

Personally i would ask if I could skip breakfast and rather give them an earlier lunch (when everyone else eats?) then offer to give them tea or snacks at 5?

Polly2
04-06-2010, 07:30 AM
Also if they eat with you and other mindee this might encourage them to eat and it makes for a nice social occasion too.

I find mine eat much better when they see me and others eating next to them at the table.

HomefromHome
04-06-2010, 12:23 PM
at that age they should, in my opinion, NOT be having milk in the morning but breakfast!, NOT having a morning nap (an afternoon one for 1.5/2 hrs) and finger food for lunch at lunch time! dinner (evening meal) bout 5/5.30, bed bout 8pm ish.... this is only my opiniont hough! i would broach the subject with mum tbh - sounds like all they do is it and sleep! (obviously i'm sure they dont so much while with you:blush: )

Jelly Baby
05-06-2010, 07:42 PM
Hi i have full time twins (1.5yrs) and mine too sleep a lot according to mum, 2 hrs in the morning 10ish and again 2 hours in the afternoon 3ish..i said to mum it may hinder the day and she was fine for me to do my routine and see how they go..the first week i stuck to it and they were ok but the second and last week i decided to take them out and see how we go and they have been good as gold, they sleep while out of need be and if not cope fine if not get a bit owbbly when they do get tired!

As for the eating they had compleatley different eating routines so i asked again about this as would be nice for them to eat with us and have tried it the last couple of weeks and they are fine, wolf it down and no problems.

I would say to mum that your days are hard due to random eating patterns and that they don't need as much sleep..see what she says..they just need to get into a good routine with you and at home.Good luck x